Blown Opportunities

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Ever had a situation where a chance to meet and possibly date someone was in your face and you totally blew it?

This happened to me yet again, on Thursday night. I went to a showing of 'Rush: Beyond The Lighted Stage' at a local theater with a female friend and her son. We found a row of four seats on one side of the theater, so my friend and I went to get drinks while her son held our seats for us. When we got back there was an attractive young lady that had taken the fourth seat, seeing as she came by herself. My first thought was 'Wow a female Rush fan!'. We exchanged some pleasantries and started a conversation about music and stuff, then the movie started.

During the film, I noticed this lady was a FAN, and not just someone who knew the big hits (Tom Saywyer, Spirit of Radio, etc.). Anyone who is a Rush fan will know that the fanbase is largely male.

Afterwards, my friend offered to get me her phone #, and I declined. I was afraid of rejection, but not then and there. I was afraid of getting her number, then screwing it up later. I feel like I have nothing to offer to a woman. Can anyone relate to this?

welcome to the club.

Yeah, I've blown a couple this year. Sorry to hear you're going through the same thing.

Female hardcore Rush fan... I don't blame you for getting all nervous around that. I woulda been too scared to make a move also.

Simular instance happened to me at a Def Leppard concert 3 years ago. I had a SWF sitting on the end of the row next to me. I didn't get the girl but, I did manage to catch a pick from Joe Elliott(Lead Singer) on the only song he played guitar on.

I like Rush too. "Presto" is one of my favorite albums. I can listen to it over and over.

Actually, now that I think of it - I was at a Billy Joel show two years ago and chatting up a couple gals sitting next to me. They were kinda buzzed though, and told me they came up from a few states over. So I didn't think to make a move then.

Rush is a kind of political band who's music kind of stradles the line between libertarian and progressive. That could add up to some strange bedfellows.

"blown"

Yes I have. Sometimes because I knew we wouldn't be compatible after talking for a while, sometimes without even realizing I had a chance. And I have sabotaged myself, as you did, out of fear. I know how you feel.

If I may offer a suggestion: let her decide if you have anything to offer her. People are much more diverse in what they want and can accept than what we are all led to believe. As long as you are honest and don't mislead her about who you are, what is the harm in letting her decide?

opportunities to get blown

welcome to BJ-Planet

Yours is certainly not an experience exclusively shared by men. As far back as I can remember I missed opportunities with the opposite sex. In highschool I needed my friends to tell me which guys had a crush on me, not that that helped matters any as I was terribly shy and had very few social skills. If I did encounter any one of these guys, I can imagine that I came across as very silly, or, lacking enough intellegence or personality to carry on any sort of conversation. Later in life I started to pick up on the behaviour that supposedly related to a guy's interest in me, but sadly, I still haven't come close to picking up the art of conversation (often acused of just being a ditz).
What I did hook up with was the type of guy who didn't care how I responded, even if I could. Unfortunately, that sort of person happened to be the jealous/possesive/abusive type, in which you have to fight hard to remove from your life. Those of you that have avoided this type but missed a few good ones too, count yourselves very lucky!! !

I can relate, before I was married I remember situations where I probably missed several opportunities where I assumed the other person was just making conversation only later to realize that they were probably trying to talk to me (as in get to know me).

Learn form your mistakes ! ! You need to tell yourself that's OK to go for the moment and get outside of yourself and meet someone of the opposite sex. Don't be afraid of possible rejection. Otherwise you'll end up alone ! !

I've made a couple as well, especially some huge blown opportunities (two of which I was really glad about).

Most of us have missed several oportunities like yours because we were to sacred of rejection (let´s face it I still am from time to time ) but it comes a time when you relize you have to make an effort if you want to start a relationship with someone and most of the times "the making an effort" consists on asking her number facing a posible rejection.


Hope it goes better next time.

Those who wish to be
Must put aside the alienation
Get on with the fascination
The real relation
The underlying theme