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franisco
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09 Oct 2010, 2:47 am

I dont know what to do

This girl keeps hitting on me and I dont like her and its wierd. I try to be nice and honest but i dont know how to be nice and honest when the truth isn't that nice. and then she asks me if I think shes cute. I think shes cute so I say so. and then she starts talking about sex but I know shes just trying to use that as leverage. and then my libido takes over and I get flirty. but I know that if I did anything with her it would just end badly cause she wants more than that and I dont and I dont want to take advantage.

what would yall do?



conundrum
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09 Oct 2010, 3:07 am

TELL HER THE TRUTH even if it's harsh! People like that refuse to take hints.


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09 Oct 2010, 3:22 am

Flirting with her is a bad idea if you don't like her.. tell he you don't want to talk about sex and aren't interested in dating her.



Synecdoche
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09 Oct 2010, 6:11 am

Calm down.

Then explain to her that you think she's a cute, nice gal but that you're not interested and that hopefully you can remain friends.



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09 Oct 2010, 10:35 am

If you don't like her, you don't need to feel bad about being honest with her. You don't have to be "nice" about it either. Make it clear that while you have nothing against her, you have no romantic interest in her, either. Tell her that if she can't respect the way you feel, you won't allow yourself to spend time with her or have contact with her. And the whole time, speak firmly, politely, and authoritatively; whatever you do, don't use the word "sorry", it weakens your position.

With all that said, just how much do you really not like this girl? Do you absolutely detest her, or simply not feel fond of her looks? If you're like a lot of aspies, including myself, you probably don't have girls interested in you very often. So why not date this girl, assuming you don't have any specific reasons against it (besides simply not liking her). As guys, we have the ability to date girls without feeling attracted to them (as part of a millions-of-years-old evolutionary mechanism designed to "spread the seed"), so take advantage of that ability, and get some experience.



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09 Oct 2010, 11:20 am

I agree with Aspie1. Date her anyway and who knows, you may find out you are a good match. At the very least it gives you some dating experience.


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09 Oct 2010, 6:15 pm

Next time she asks what you're doing on the weekend, say you're going out with your girlfriend...



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09 Oct 2010, 6:35 pm

Quit leading her on. It may be painful for her now but it'll be even more painful for her once she thinks you've shown interest. It's one thing to be rejected but it's another thing to be in a one-sided relationship in which one person pretends to like you. You need to just tell her you're not interested and if you still want to be friends let her know but tell her. There's no real polite way to tell let someone you're not interested.


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AndreaLuna
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09 Oct 2010, 7:04 pm

you seem at least attracted to her, you don't like her personality? if that's the case just tell her in a nice way, no reason to hurt her. If you are just one of those Aspie guys that need to fall head over heels before actually knowing somebody, you need to know that that's not what happens in most cases. You like somebody, you are attracted to that person, you go out with her for a while and see if you can open yourself up to the possibility of something more. Beeing hit in the head by love is not something that usually happens and in most cases these are only crashes that are not really based on knowing the person. In fact the crashes I have had ended up in nothing, the real love relationships were the ones that developed slowly. But you have to be open to the possibility otherwise you are wasting her time and will probably end up hurting her.



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10 Oct 2010, 1:04 am

franisco wrote:
I dont know what to do

This girl keeps hitting on me and I dont like her and its wierd. I try to be nice and honest but i dont know how to be nice and honest when the truth isn't that nice. and then she asks me if I think shes cute. I think shes cute so I say so. and then she starts talking about sex but I know shes just trying to use that as leverage. and then my libido takes over and I get flirty. but I know that if I did anything with her it would just end badly cause she wants more than that and I dont and I dont want to take advantage.

what would yall do?


I'd just tell her you're not capable of a relationship beyond sex with her.



franisco
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11 Oct 2010, 12:51 am

Im not attracted to her. I think shes attractive but theres a whole world of attractive people out there so that doesn't mean much. Theres something almost predatory about her. She seems to know better than to give me the oppurtunity to tell her I dont like her and instead tries to use her sexuality to draw me in. This might just be insecurity. If thats the case then she is probably attracted to me because im a nice person and I need to tread lightly as to not add on to those insecurities. But I sense a darkness about her which would suggest a sort of sociopathy. In which case shes attracted to me because she sees me as easy prey and then I dont have to feel bad about just ignoring her

Thanks for the advise everyone. In thinking more about this I realize im not really looking for advice cause I basically know what to do. Its just stressing me out and I need to vent



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11 Oct 2010, 1:51 am

I'd say you'll just tell her without any care in the world, even if it sounds harsh (which you suppose to anyways) OR do something to put her off like boast about your good looks, because girls just can't stand it and I know a few girls who can't stand it. :lol:

Sounds rather stupid but it might work.


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nekowafer
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11 Oct 2010, 2:06 pm

Metal_Man wrote:
I agree with Aspie1. Date her anyway and who knows, you may find out you are a good match. At the very least it gives you some dating experience.


This is a terrible idea. It's not a "fake it til you make it" situation. You could really hurt her feelings.

Just tell her you're not interested in an intimate relationship with her. No need to give details, or apologize, just tell her the truth. She'll get over it.


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11 Oct 2010, 3:58 pm

Make a 'sex buddies' contract with her.



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11 Oct 2010, 4:22 pm

franisco wrote:
I dont know what to do

This girl keeps hitting on me and I dont like her and its wierd. I try to be nice and honest but i dont know how to be nice and honest when the truth isn't that nice. and then she asks me if I think shes cute. I think shes cute so I say so. and then she starts talking about sex but I know shes just trying to use that as leverage. and then my libido takes over and I get flirty. but I know that if I did anything with her it would just end badly cause she wants more than that and I dont and I dont want to take advantage.

what would yall do?


Whatever you do don't sleep with her, you know it won't lead anywhere and it will likely just make her feel used.



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11 Oct 2010, 5:17 pm

franisco wrote:
I dont know what to do

This girl keeps hitting on me and I dont like her and its wierd. I try to be nice and honest but i dont know how to be nice and honest when the truth isn't that nice. and then she asks me if I think shes cute. I think shes cute so I say so. and then she starts talking about sex but I know shes just trying to use that as leverage. and then my libido takes over and I get flirty. but I know that if I did anything with her it would just end badly cause she wants more than that and I dont and I dont want to take advantage.

what would yall do?


Unless she's a warpig, go ahead and bang her. Even if she's a warpig, just shut off the lights, close your eyes and think of someone else! :twisted: