The Love and Dating Forum is increasingly a waste

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RossMc
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01 Nov 2010, 12:23 pm

The problem is that (1) The percentage of people who self-identify as aspie seems to be roughly 80% male, so the gender ratio in the discussions is out of whack, (2) The majority of aspies undoubtedly would like to find a steady signicant other of the opposite sex, but this is not relected in the discussions which seem to draw a disproportionate number of people claiming to be asexual, transexual, lesbian, homosexual etc., (3) I can't get over the vastly different approach toward love and sex between men and women, but the difference is what gives life a lot of its charm and fun. 90% of what interests females is meaningless to me. I don't see the appeal of gardening, fashion, furniture, owning a home, cooking, feminism, chocolate, shopping, discussing relationships, or discussing much of anything, dieting etc. (4) Being weird cuts you off from love and sex much more definitely if you are male than if you are female. Because most normal men are horny, even the most disfunctional woman can find some kind of relationship with a guy, though all to often it means being an abused doormat.



Asp-Z
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01 Nov 2010, 12:34 pm

A lot of what you said were sweeping statements which aren't true for the entire groups of people you referenced, for example, saying that women are all interested in fashion and stating that as a reason you don't get along with them, despite the fact there are a lot of women on this forum who don't care about fashion.



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Nov 2010, 12:44 pm

^ the 'a lot' of women on this forum represent about 0.05% of women...



RossMc
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01 Nov 2010, 12:44 pm

Most generalizations are by their very nature sweeping, but they are nevertheless necessary in many fields of endeavour, and they are often true. The generalizations that I make about the differences between men and women are grounded in many peer-reviews studies in the field of psychology.



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01 Nov 2010, 12:45 pm

OP, you may want to take a look at the following thread. You may even want to contact @Nostromo to get more info, and/or social services agencies in your area to determine if they offer similar services:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt141759.html

Based on the tone of your post, I'm not sure what you're expecting from a relationship. There aren't many women around who want a man who doesn't find them interesting...or who isn't even interested in having a conversation with them.


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emlion
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01 Nov 2010, 12:47 pm

psht.



Darkmysticdream
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01 Nov 2010, 12:50 pm

I'm going to say that the sweeping generalization might work in terms of you feeling limited, but it doesn't mean that its accurate overall. Most people who are ID'd as Aspie tend to be male, yes. The way it manifests in women tends to be different and therefore is not caught as often. Plus social expectations for little girls to be quiet or introspective lends Aspie girls to be overlooked since boys are expected to be rough and rowdy. However, it doesn't mean we don't exist or that we somehow have it easier just because you are having issues.

I have absolutely NO interest in most of the things you mention as being "female" interests. Heck I have a lot of non-AS female friends that have no interest in those things. Making sweeping generalizations about women is probably what puts a lot of women off when it comes to you.

Since you seem to be saying you have no understanding of how females work or process things then how can you even begin to assume that you have it so much harder than females??? You are making some pretty stupid assumptions here. 1) women do not automatically have a lower sex drive 2) women don't automatically want or need a relationship 3) abusive relationships are NOT better than not having anyone

You are seriously messed up if you think that women have it easier because they can be taken advantage of by as*hole predators and call that some kind of relationship or way of getting sex for the woman. That is not only stupid, but down right offensive to any woman who has been raped or abused (me included).

Stop wallowing in your own self-pity and making generalizations about an entire gender just so you can feel like you have it so much worse for being alone.



Bataar
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01 Nov 2010, 12:51 pm

If you believe this forum is a waste, feel free to not read it. :?



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Nov 2010, 12:54 pm

Darkmysticdream wrote:
I'm going to say that the sweeping generalization might work in terms of you feeling limited, but it doesn't mean that its accurate overall. Most people who are ID'd as Aspie tend to be male, yes. The way it manifests in women tends to be different and therefore is not caught as often. Plus social expectations for little girls to be quiet or introspective lends Aspie girls to be overlooked since boys are expected to be rough and rowdy. However, it doesn't mean we don't exist or that we somehow have it easier just because you are having issues.

.


There was a user called LePetitPrince (a very smart user ...and handsome too) who defied this unproven theory (which is so amazingly common like some kind of religion among aspie women) :
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt106618.html



Nagy
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01 Nov 2010, 12:55 pm

An interesting discussion!


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Darkmysticdream
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01 Nov 2010, 1:02 pm

@The_Face_of_Boo

Quote:
There was a user called LePetitPrince (a very smart user ...and handsome too) who defied this unproven theory (which is so amazingly common like some kind of religion among aspie women) :


Oh I don't believe in a 1:1 ratio theory at all, but I do believe that many girls are not diagnosed because many boys with autistic spectrum issues also have anger or behavioral issues and/or ADD/ADHD comorbidly which makes them more likely to be picked out during school and taken out for evaluation where a girl that is socially reclusive is less likely to be considered a troublemaker and therefore is less likely to be taken for any kind of special evaluations.

Yes, there is a disproportionate number of AS or Autistic males, but I am one of the few females and my special interest happens to be psychology and sociology so I'm bound to go by statistics and observations and not simply a hope that there are lots of other "hidden" AS females.



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01 Nov 2010, 1:36 pm

There are very few if any large scale studies of autistic populations to really gauge the proportion of male to female ratio accuratley at all. And even if such a disparity were to be found their would be cultural, sociological and practical reasons why such a disparity would exist as already outlined.

Until there is such an evidence base all bets are off on such ratio guessing



Moog
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01 Nov 2010, 1:44 pm

Quote:
The Love and Dating Forum is increasingly a waste


OP, your post didn't make much sense to me. What should we do to make it less wasteful?


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alexptrans
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01 Nov 2010, 1:57 pm

Being asexual doesn't necessarily imply not being interested in love or in having a relationship. Many asexual people do want romantic partners, they just don't want to have sex.



Why_Am_I
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01 Nov 2010, 3:28 pm

You sound very jaded, but I think Bataar makes a very telling point. Just don't go to that forum!



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01 Nov 2010, 7:29 pm

Laz wrote:
There are very few if any large scale studies of autistic populations to really gauge the proportion of male to female ratio accuratley at all. And even if such a disparity were to be found their would be cultural, sociological and practical reasons why such a disparity would exist as already outlined.

Until there is such an evidence base all bets are off on such ratio guessing


Here is one which I've linked before:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8294522