Thinking about giving up on finding a girlfriend.

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Hi everyone, I am going through a really hard time with not only making and keep girls as friends because I am shy and always wait for them to approach me if they want to talk to me but as our friendship develops and as I think it may turn in to a dating relationship I always seem to hurt the girl in some way shape or form. Also, I feel that girls are afraid to not only tell me that they like and that they are attracted to me because of my mood swings and because of my high levels of anxiety. I am not sure what to do or who to turn to.

feel free to message me if u can help.

Best advice I can give is find happiness on your own terms, and don't make it contingent on others. I quit worrying about girls a long time ago. I focus on things I can do to make me happy and contended...I focus on my work. Find a passion and throw yourself into it...soon enough you'll find that a girlfriend would just a bother and a time waster. I would get far less accomplished if I had a girl distracting me at every turn. If one does come along, I'd sure be open to a relationship, but she'd have to accept my work as an important part of my life, and if she won't, she can hit the street.

Live your life on your own terms, and if a girl comes along that wants to be a part of it, much the better. But if she doesn't come, you're still happy and contented, right? Take charge of your own life, don't leave it to anyone else.

You're only 24, you've got a lot of years to get better with women. I am not a ladies man by any stretch, but I have gotten better with women over the years despite my AS. Much of this has been aided by getting a job, my own place, some self esteem, etc. and just trying! Good luck!

I swear I'll blow a gasket if I see another one of these.

Guys, you need to get a clue, all right??? All the resources you need to clue yourselves are right here in this forum. Why do you keep making the same mistakes again and again? I undestand regarding guys with AS who have no idea why they are different and aren't posting on WP. But here? Madness. Madness I tell you.

You are looking for a relationship... for love, for a person willing to accept you. For a person interested in something you have to offer. Not for a 'girlfriend'! What do you think a woman will just accept your offer out of the blue and become an item in your life just becauxe you want her to? No.

Every one of these "can't find a GF" topics sound to me like the girl's father asked for too many goats.

You are talking about a whole other person! You need to be able to fulfill her dreams and desires. Do you know what that entails?

How are you going about this GF quest anyway? You oogle at hot women, and when they look your way, you look away embarrassed and never approach or say anything? First of all, looking away is a sign that you are not interested so of course women will just walk away. Try maintaining eye contact, smile, and then approach and talk to her! Second of all, women will NOT approach the guy first. Sure there's a 1 in a 100 exception, but don't count on it. You need to man up and talk to people. If you don't know how, you need to work on your conversational and social skills first.

Start by getting to know more people. Expand your circle of friends. Make lots of new friends. Join clubs. Hang out at the local library or bookstore or coffee shop and TALK TO PEOPLE. Ask about them, and in turn let them discover more about you. You are looking for a DATE with a woman (or a guy if that floats your boat), not a 'girlfriend'. Ugh that's so creepy.

The rest will fall into place.

One other thing, if you are undesirable (living with parents, no car, overweight, missing front teeth, whatever) you need to fix that first.

No one is entitled to another person's companionship. You need to earn it, and you need to know how to reciprocate.

@Brian, ironically, becoming content with oneself is one of the best ways to attract new friends and potential partners.

Actually, what is wrong with giving up altogether?

If you want a girlfriend, stop trying to find one.

As soon as you stop looking, you will find one. Life is like that.

Manage your anxiety by practicing talking to girls. Talk to the mirror for instance. If you can't think of anything to say, think of a topic and write it down on a piece of paper. For ex, the news, sports, movies etc. If they smile and are friendly to you, you shouldn't be worried about it, but just keep them as friends for now.