Common sense for those who are looking for a relationship
Self explanatory thread is self explanatory.
This thread is filled with extremely blunt and straightforward remarks so for those of extremely weak emotional constitutions you have been warned, If you are offended or get upset from the revelations, don't whine to me or I may throw a hunk of Gouda at your skull.
I also wouldn't mind if this was stickied, as it is a partial rehash of some of my earlier advice posts.
excerpt from a really old post of mine that should have been stickied before
Quote:
Part 1: To those who have to demonize those who just simply don't have sexual desires.
I will first acknowledge that at least these forums are accepting of those of us who are like this. However, society can sometimes come down just as hard, if not harder upon us than upon homosexuals at times. Im so god damn sick of the people who think that if you are asexual that you are just too much of a p**** to come out of your closet. I am also sick of those who also say we must be seriously f**** up in the head if we don't desire "The greatest thing in the world" just like everyone else. I classify myself as borderline asexual for the most part because of the following however. I still desire female company, but not the sexual aspects of it. I wouldn't mind having a female companion that I can simply talk to, and just simply feel useful around (no, not in the sense of having to find a point for my existence simply someone to share their life experiences with.).
Part 2: To those who have to constantly tell themselves they are worthless and whatnot when it comes to finding 'love'.
One thing I have really been starting to get fed up with that in turn makes me avoid this section of the forums more and more are those who have to constantly whine about not getting any, but then simply ignore any advice given. Just because I can, I will make this section just a redundant section with my own advice to those who most likely will ignore it anyways because they just want the attention.
--- ADV#1: Don't put yourself down right away. If you have to constantly do it, no wonder you cant find someone, your just too damn immature to acknowledge that actual good things going on in your life at the moment. Sometimes you just have to simply step back, take a deep breath and just assess yourself from an objective point of view. Just because you cant get laid or whatever doesn't mean you are a complete failure. for a quick self-esteem boost, answer this question: Are you able to think for yourself? If so, congratulations, you have found something.... positive perhaps? If not..... I just dunno what to say to you.....
--- ADV#2: Don't lay all the blame on people who aren't accepting your advances, it just makes you come off as an a******, unless they are the type to simply act like a flirt or whatever for the attention/entertainment. They are the so called c***teases if your referring to the female variety. As for the male variety, what would they be called? I dunno.... so moving on....
--- ADV#3: Missed opportunities happen. Its a fact of life, so don't go beating yourself over it, because it just makes you feel like an even bigger worthless sack of flesh. The best thing you can do it just simply pick you self up off the ground, wash off the dirt and blood from the beatdown you gave yourself, and just simply move on.
--- ADV#4: Don't be a crybaby. Everyone forgets perhaps the biggest "Alpha male rule" in my opinion. yes you have to stomach the punches and continue on. Sometimes however, some sensitivity can help, as long as you don't make a big scene out of something small like He/She saying no. there are plenty of other opportunities in this vast hell we call life.
As for other thoughts on this...
-If all else fails, you have a hand. Learn to use it.
-If he/she doesn't like you/isn't interested, lay the hell off them and don't obsess. You will make yourself look like a damn creeper and turn off even more people if you continue pestering/following/obsessing over them and depending on your actions, can land you in some serious s**t.
-If your gonna call someone else shallow, really start looking at yourself objectively. If your calling someone shallow just because they wont f*****g get in bed with you, you are 99% most likely to be a damn hypocrite. It ties in into the above statement. Maybe they don't want you because your personality doesn't fit what they want, or your appearance doesn't. You just end up being a damn hypocrite because whether you realize it or not you are judging them just the same way they judged you. All I can say to this is grow the f**k up and move on.
-Learn to take care of yourself first and foremost. If I was looking for someone I certainly wouldn't want anyone who comes off as a damn scumball. Practice good hygiene skills regardless if they may interfere with your issues such as sensitivities to whatever. You don't have to be perfect but at least make sure you are clean and are wearing clean clothes, Wear deodorant, and take care of your health.
-Learn to love yourself. If you cant how the hell are you expected to love someone else.
-I really need to learn to take my own advice sometimes, especially about loving ones self.
-Develop your sense of humor, practice with friends or whatever. Learn to identify sarcasm and practice not tasking things so damn literally
- If you dont even bother trying to improve you arent even worth a potential mates time. Also you wont f*****g improve overnight in a lot of things so stop expecting that you will. Its just like losing weight, you have got to put sweat and tears into improving yourself, and stick to it. If you can't even bother with doing that, well as I said, worthless, don't even bother looking for a mate, and that leads right back to an earlier statement. Learn to use your hand, maybe bring out the porn as well, or a blow-up doll or whatever.
-I can't overemphasize this enough.... LESS GOD DAMN QQing!! !
YES THIS STU*FF MAY BE HARD, SO WHAT? Practice the skills and yo will improve. you may not become perfect but every bit of improvement counts.
14 Jan 2011, 8:56 pm
