Is this true?

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This is what someone wrote on yahoo answers. the guy is male and sufferes from aspergers and lives in america. this was in regards to AS and relationships. the answer is below.


"I believe I have Aspergers and the answer to your question is a definitive yes. Not only are men with Aspergers mostly unlikely to marry but many who do marry have their marriages end in divorce. Take me for instance, I am 38 and have never been in an intimate relationship, let alone been married, yes I am straight but my Aspergers impairs my ability to relate to others in friendships as well, let alone intimate relationships.

Some people mistakenly believe that Aspergers is just another form of being shy but what they don't understand is that a non-Autistic person with low confidence, knows how to relate with others but doesn't have the confidence to carry it out, a person with Aspergers, isn't just shy but does not have a clue socially on how to relate to others in a meaningful TWO-WAY exchange.

The key phrase for anyone on the Autism spectrum is "mind blindness". It is the cutoff that keeps many on the spectrum from making that extra connection to the outside world beyond our minds.

I am glad you said men with Aspergers and not people with Aspergers. While women with Aspergers don't have it easy either, the social expectations in society are much different for men and women, thus making men with Aspergers at an extra disadvantage in the dating world. Men are suppose to take charge and initiate but it is very difficult to for someone with Aspergers to function socially let alone be the one in charge.

Then there is the alone time. Many men with Aspergers crave solitude most of the day, more than most non-Autistic people and that in addition impairs any relationship from lasting.

Lastly, I wish I had the web link but a couple of years ago, I read a piece from a 40-something man with Aspergers, who finally had a girlfriend and he said out of his Ohio Aspergers support group, only 2 of the 80 adult Asperger men had ever been married!

That is no joke and the life most of us live. "






What do you think of the guys answer?

there's several married men around the forums.

Aspies have it tougher but does not mean it is impossible. I don't like when things are made over-general.

I know i mean he's just stereotyping in his answer and saying it like its the absolute defenitive truth. quite ignorant really.

I dont know about the statistics but I wouldnt go as far as saying that they never marry and Im not too sure about that most of them would get a divorce either.

I think a lot depends on whether they have a diagnosis or not.
I mean, Im sure it would be a bit weird living with me, not knowing of AS
and I think I might have a hard time with someone, if I didnt know of the AS in them.

Understanding, makes all the difference.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt153821.html

Let's be a little more practical about this. Divorce is prevalent in Western society. 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri. When these are the numbers, who is to say that an aspie man is any more likely to divorce than a non-aspie man? The issue really is the inability of people in our society to find a proper match and stay with someone that they have married.

Without any hardcore data on Asperger Syndrome patients' personal lives, we won't know how these statistics relate to us. All we can see right now is that divorce is prevalent in Western society.

Yahoo! Answers? Here's some other stuff that was written on Yahoo! Answers:





Seems like a very reliable source of information to me, so the thing about Aspies must be true!

^ that last one has worked for me once.

Only 2 of 80 got married? I'm gonna blow my brains out now and avoid all that pain

Oh great so should i stop thinking positivly about things

emilion i swear in one of my old threads you were impyling that women with AS have it just as hard as men do when it comes to marriage and relationships but this guy on yahoo answers is saying the opposite.

That's probably because that guy on Yahoo answers is a guy. It's easy for males to say that females have it easier, because society expects us to pursue, but think about what's generally valued in females in society. One of the big ones is empathy, much moreso than it is in men.

Furthermore, while the males might be expected to pursue, both sides require the ability to read non-verbal cues, and act on signals given out by the other. Seeing as how that's one of the major things that Aspies struggle with....

And don't stop thinking positively. Speaking for myself, I'll be damned if the way my brain works is going to keep me from finding happiness. It might be harder, but that's why we have that drive called "determination." So that we can overcome those obstacles.

I'd say stop worrying about it. Its not in your control whether you're a statistic or not. If you try to measure yourself up against people who've been more successful you're missing one big piece of the puzzle - you're not them, they're not you.

For guys and to likely a large enough extent women as well, just a little bit of difference in facial appearance, gate, mannerisms, changes everything in ways you wouldn't even expect. It makes no sense and its not supposed to, mainly because you're not supposed to overcome it - ie. getting a clue or your act together doesn't do anything to your genes, you have the same genetics you had when you were born whether you give a war cry earlier in life and follow John Henry on a self-destruct mission to the top of the heap or whether you sit around in an apartment working a Taco Bell job at 35. The question is - who were you before all of that? Before you had all of the adaptive mechanisms to cover it up?

Who should try? People who absolutely have no clue, mainly because they still have hope in that they haven't seen how the world, or dating world, will treat them if they do get it together (ie. its an unknown but there's still hope because of that unknown). That can go one of two ways - the world will either like and accept it, or, you'll be disconfirmed (ignored as much as ever or treated like your claims to self-awareness are invalid or an over-achievement for your genetics). For those who already have a clue or who have themselves together and still aren't accepted - don't drive yourselves crazy, you're at the end of your rope and you've reached the ultimate wall, no way to really self improve aside from enjoy your life to the best of your ability single.

There is a study on AS divorce that sounds pretty bad. It probably covers diagnosed adults with AS. Today's crop of diagnosed adults tend to be those with the most severe problems. AS adults who are well adapted and who never had the opportunity to get a childhood diagnosis won't be included in the study as they won't usually get diagnosed. So in 20 years we'll see the real stats. Today it's all skewed.

But it stands to reason that a condition with social deficits will lead to increased solitude (and divorce). It's hard enough for NTs. I think I read somewhere that divorced aspies often have trouble moving on to another relationship as well. Though I'm not married, I think it would be very difficult for me to move on if my relationship ended.