No more the understanding guy.

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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
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15 Jun 2011, 4:59 am

Girls I approached often mention deal-breakers which are unchangeable traits of my being.

A girl I met through a local forum made it clear that she would only marry a Christian guy in a church, so I distanced myself from her.

Result: She dated a Muslim Sunni guy,a far friend of mine, for a year before breaking up with him (for a totally unrelated reason).

A coworker girl I approached, invited her to lunch several times told me "I will never marry a non-muslim" (knowing that I am atheist), so I distanced myself from her.

Result: Now she's dating the first atheist guy (from Christian Armenian family) who asked her out. They have been a year together.

Another girl made it clear to me that she only wants an outgoing extrovert guy, the opposite of her, so I didn't try again with her.

Result: She will date a guy this weekend who stays home most of the time, she told me herself that she always find him online all the time, even on weekend, and he's also of the geek type. Not outgoing at all.

My conclusion: I will never believe any girl anymore, I will keep being persistent, stubborn and determinant (like those guys did) till I get the real reason of rejection.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 15 Jun 2011, 6:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

hurtloam
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15 Jun 2011, 6:13 am

Wow, confusing or what?! !

The only thing I can say is that human beings are very inconsistent. You think you know what you want, but then someone comes along who doesn't fit into the mold and you are head over heels for them and your original ideals pale into insignificance.

These girls aren't neccesarily liars, they're just human. Things change, people change, circumstances change.

Have you never said anything and then changed your mind about it?

lilypadfad
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15 Jun 2011, 8:50 am

hyperlexian
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15 Jun 2011, 9:17 am

hurtloam wrote:

yes. exactly. this happens in all realms, but in reference to relationships people think they are driven by certainty, but when someone comes along that seems quite good, they might change their criteria.

Boo, those women probably just weren't right for you. no big deal. maybe the woman who is right for you would change her criteria to be with you, given the chance.

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LordoftheMonkeys
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15 Jun 2011, 9:19 am

Isn't Lebanon one of those places where women get stoned to death for having relationships outside their sects?

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BlueMage
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15 Jun 2011, 9:30 am

One time an unattractive guy asked me out, and without even thinking about it I started automatically making up stupid excuses not to. I tend to be an honest blunt person, so later when I thought about it I was surprised I reacted that way. So I think if a lady starts making up deal-breakers then she just isn't into you.

Moog
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15 Jun 2011, 9:55 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

My conclusion: Most people don't really know what they want. So give them the chance to try something they might like.

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Grisha
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15 Jun 2011, 10:13 am

BlueMage wrote:

Exactly. This is always my assumption when I hear this sort of thing - I don't question it and just move on.

Of course it totally sucks, but at least they care enough about my feelings to bother to make up a white lie about it.

Best not to dwell on it, just keep looking...

nick007
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15 Jun 2011, 10:28 am

What some women think they want or claim to want can be quite different than what they are actually attracted to sometimes. Try to figure out how t0 be attractive to em instead of worrying about what they say they want

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The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Jun 2011, 10:53 am

LordoftheMonkeys wrote:

Isn't Lebanon one of those places where women get stoned to death for having relationships outside their sects?

No, but they just make a big fuss about it.

deadeyexx
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15 Jun 2011, 11:51 am

BlueMage wrote:

Yes, people love instant gratification. I'm guilty of this too. Essentially you make someone smile just long enough to get away before having to deal with any real issues.

Him: Do you want to go out?
Her: Nah, you're not my type, but you're a great guy and you'll find your match someday

The temporary ego stroke distracts him long enough for her to get away while he learns nothing and continues repeating the same mistakes. In some cases, the woman might actually delude herself into thinking she helped.

In the long run bluntness is nice and politeness is selfish and mean.

This is why 99% of dating advice sucks. It comes from people who feel good about giving someone a temporary smile while not having to hang around for thier long term misery.

PLA
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15 Jun 2011, 2:01 pm

You can be blunt and polite, though. I don't know when "polite" became synonymous with "lying compulsively".

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The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Jun 2011, 3:18 pm

lilypadfad wrote:

I want the red pill.

LordoftheMonkeys
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15 Jun 2011, 4:35 pm

In The Matrix, the little red pill changes your perspective on life. In the real world, the little blue pill does that.

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15 Jun 2011, 8:56 pm

BlueMage wrote:

This.

Chronos
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15 Jun 2011, 8:58 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

People only think they have deal breakers. The truth of the matter is, if they like you enough, for whatever reason, they will overlook the deal breakers. If they reject you on the basis of a deal breaker, they aren't sufficiently interested in you and you should move on.

However wait until they explicitly reject you.

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