HybridAP,
I really relate to what you said, but it appears that NTs are a bit like other critters in having a "mating display" and the first date seems to be part of that process. What I mean, incase I wasn't clear, was most animals have some sort of dance, song, what ever that serves to attract their mate. We humans do the dinner, talk (about our statis and interests), act interested and so on. There are a lot of things going on in this that seem to send ques to the NT mind that we (ok, maybe I should say "I") miss. When you listen attentively and act interested this seems to send the message that you will remain attentive to the other, I don't think this follows, after all, just because someone listens to your story about a fifth grade bully or your Grand Mothers cookies, how does that presume to show that you will not cheat/abandom them/be a slob after the relationship starts? By talking about stuff you have accomplished you are sending some kind of que that you have good genes to pass on and will be a good provider, REALLY? Ok, so if I talk about serving 11 years in the military does that show commitment, or that I don't like changing things so once I was in I didn't really know how to leave? If I talk about scholastic achievements does that show I am intelligent, or that I didn't have a social life to distract from the work? I know I am weird to NTs but they are just as confusing to me....
HybridAP your idea of just being yourself is great, let them see the real you not the "dressed up and on my best behavior self" that usually goes on a date. Too bad few others seem to want to/be able to do that......
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I'm not angry, this is just my face.