Is this too much to ask

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Well most of the time I am facing LJBF. But there are very few exceptions which include the girls I was dating for a year or two. But in case of these exceptions I faced the opposite dillema: they wanted to marry and I weren't. Now, ideally I want the kind of relationship that fits all of the following:

1. Serious commitment:

a) We are officially labeled as boyfriend/girlfriend
b) We don't see other people
c) We are long term and stable

2. Not being trapped:

a) No talk about marriage, even when relationship went on for a year or two, still remaining boyfriend/girlfriend
b) Each of us staying in our own place; we don't move together
c) We spend with each other few hours a week so that I spend most of the time doing my physics (but at the same time the few hours a week should be exciting enough to lighten me up to the point that I can actually focus on my physics without being disracted by my loneliness)

3. No sex

a) I don't believe in sex before marriage. So since I don't want to marry (per 2a) I don't want sex either
b) Hugging and kissing is okay, just nothing beyond that

Now do you think that the things that I listed are mutually exclusive, or do you think I would have been able to find it if I didn't have Asperger?

I voted for the first option, that these things are probably mutually exclusive.

There are asexual women who never want to get married, but they aren't that likely to want a boyfriend either. There are women who want a long term relationship without marriage but they aren't that likely to be asexual.

I suppose it's possible that there is a woman out there who wants to be in a long term, exclusive but not married asexual relationship. I have no idea how you would go about finding her.

i think there is much contradiction.

you want a serious commitment, but marriage and sex are NEVER an option. (so basically, it's going nowhere)

why would he stay in a relationship which is unable to grow?

The relationship you are seeking sounds like "friendship" to me. Maybe if you didn't frame it as a romantic arrangement you might be better able to find a woman to be affectionate friends with.

its doable but you have to remember that for most people sex is somthing that comes with a relationship. itll be hard to find someone thats willing to have a sex less relationship and will maintain it exclusive. not impossible but just hard.

It's probably not too much to ask, in fact there may be millions of women in the Earth's human population that will fill the bill.

The problem is actually meeting one of them though. Realistically you only meet women a few at a time, so even though they're out there, you are searching for a needle in a haystack - and having such an extensive list of "deal-breakers" certainly doesn't improve your odds.

Personally, as I've gotten older I've become far less certain about what I need - sometimes things I thought I wanted turned out to be different in reality and things which I initially thought I didn't want were actually quite nice in reality.

My philosophy is to approach the whole thing with an open mind and see what develops, sometimes what happens will surprise you...

i think you shouldn't try and define love like that.

Well there are two reasons why I want it to be "relationship" rather than "friendship":

1) The whole "exclusivity" part goes more along the lines of a relationship rather than friendship

2) It is better for my self esteem it is called a relationship. My current concern is that women view me as "inferior" to NT-s and thats why they are willing to be my friend but not my girlfriend. So in order to prove it wrong i need a woman in my life who is expressly my girlfriend.

This was my philosophy too. But then I ended up being trapped in a relationship where a woman was tring to persuade me to marry her. I guess i am tired of this kind of thing. I just look back to the BEGINNINS of any given relationship that I had and remember just how nice and drama free they were and how much I enjoyed it. It all got ruined when the girls were trying to force me to go further. I wish it would stay at the level where it started off at.

That's going to be the dealbreaker with so many women. A relationship can't stay static. It moves forward or it dies. You may succeed in finding an asexual woman who wants neither a lover nor a husband but does want a boyfriend who will freeze in place with her. It's entirely possible. But it is a pretty fringe request. Online might be the only possible way and you would have to be very upfront. The odds of finding a woman who wants a static, yet exclusive, yet non-sexual, yet unmarried relationship by mere casual dating are very low indeed. Your previous girlfriends pushed you to marriage because that is what women frequently want. There are women who absolutely never intend to get married but these are also the women least likely to want to tie themselves exclusively to a man. It's a conundrum.

How about the possibility of marriage 10 years down the road; just not any time much sooner. I mean I myself would feel bad if I were to die unmarried without children. But at the same time I don't want to tie myself up any time soon. I didn't take advantage of the freedom people typically have in their 20-s. So now I want to do in my 30-s whatever I should have done in my 20-s (which for the most part includes taking as much advantage of school as i can and focus on my academic performance). Then when I am 40 I can marry. Although to be quite honest I am scared of the whole concep of being 40, married or not. I hate being 31 even. I wish time didn't speed up it is scary.

Women have biological clocks. They can't wait around 10 years for you to possibly be ready. Of course some women will not want children. But will they also want no sex for years and years? Of course some women don't want children or sex, but will they then want a boyfriend who wants exclusivity? It's possible, but not terribly likely.

I'd say #1 and #3 kind of contradict each other.
You want a serious relationship, but no sex. If you're serious about the relationship, wouldn't you be having sex? Women have needs, and if they aren't getting it from you, then where?

#2, is probably okay for most people. But, again, if you have a serious relationship, a next reasonable step would be living together.

It's pretty ridiculous to think you could ask for a serious relationship but not do a lot of simple things that are a part of it.

Good luck, though. You'll need it.

Sounds good to me but I'm not looking and know that I never want intercourse or kids.

How would you define exclusivity if you're not having sex, not living together, and not married? I can (mostly) understand the distinction between friendship and asexual romantic relationship, but from an outside perspective, they look similar. I would say it is possible to find someone who wants all those things, especially with the help of the internet.

Not dating anyone else.