Why is cheating on someone in a relationship wrong?

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I don't understand why cheating on someone is so bad. What is real offensive about having two relationships going at once? If I had a choice I'd make polygamy legal. People make such a big issue out of something so irrelevant. I just don't see reason for the anger.

Last edited by aspie48 on 03 Nov 2011, 2:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Cheating and having multiple relationships are not the same thing. Cheating involves deception, which is a dealbreaker in most relationships. Polygamy can be cheating, but most of the time people are aware of each other's partners. I wish polygamy were legal, too, since I see no reason for love to be limited to one person each, but I do not condone cheating.

As a dedicated monogamist, I really don't appreciate being called an "idiot"

Why? Because everyone else isn't you and does not share your opinion. Unless agreed upon early in the relationship, having relations of a close nature with someone else is a total dealbreaker. Why is that so hard to realise?

I'm not against polygamy, but i'm not against monogamy relationships either, it's all up to the people in the respective relationships to set their own boundaries.

Somebody is not an idiot just because they do not share your opinion...

And as people have pointed out here cheating and polygamy are really two different things. Personally I don't see the need for polygamy, if you aren't getting what you need from one person then break it off and try to find somebody more suited, but I respect a person's right to do it as long as everyone involves know about it and they are not hurting anyone.

I know many instances where women and men contract venereal diseases due to people cheating. The risks outweigh the benefit! Hpv and other stds are everywhere. It's selfish for a partner to jeopardize their partner's safety so they can feel good.

no because its stupid to call others idiots for their feelings on some things.

No, that just goes for egoism, religious-fanaticism and sociopathic/drone mentality politics = PPR.

Everything else is a choice that does not affect anyone else.

Did you even read the original post? Im not debating the choice, im debating how the argument is being made. If anything you're just showing yourself to be as ignorant.

OP is being contacted about his way of describing those that disagree with him.
Please try to pretend it isnt there for a few hours until he fixes it(we like members to do things for themselves instead of doing their work so that they have to go through the effort of finding a suitable word thats acceptable... and hopefully wont namecall others for a while.)

Note MXH and Ichinin are arguing about different things. Ichinin was replying to the original post/subject line when he said "Why?" He was NOT saying why it is ok to call someone an idiot for choosing monogomy.

Now for my answer:

As far as I know, to qualify as a polygamist you have to actually be legally married. Therefore, I say if you have a ployamorous relationship, just don't get married.

I believe the illegality of polygamy in Western countries is as a result of the influence of Christianity.

I take the stance of "live and let live" - if you are able to have an open relationship and see more than one person at a time without hurting any feelings then that's great! It's when you start sneaking around behing a partner's back and doing it without their consent that it becomes "cheating" and, in my opinion, any form of deception is wrong.

On the other hand, polyamorous need to realize that there are some people who prefer manogomy and respect their right to choose that as well

Unfortunately, most people are largely influenced by cultural "norms" when making their choice and aren't really thinking for themselves. But you still have to respect their position.


As for myself: Lately I've been thinking I might possibly be open to a polyamorous relationship but the problem with that is that you have to really, really trust your partner that they won't bring back diseases or that they will come back to you at all. If you can achieve that level of trust, I can see how it might have some benefits. I don't see the benefit in a casual sex-only relationship, though.

I do tend to be posessive of things I consider my territory, too though so in reality I'm not sure I'd be able to pull it off.

'cheating' implies you are having relations with others without your partner knowing.

And no matter how you spin it it's despicable to do so if your partner does not know;or is otherwise not open to that kind of lifestyle.If you don't think they will go for it do them and yourself a favor;and breakup and find someone that doesn't mind you doing so.Swinging singles/couples are pretty easy to find these days,so there's no excuse for lying to your significant other.

If you are ever in Sweden and want a hug... PM me.

I think disease is a good reason to stick to one partner. As long as me and my husband don't cheat on each other we won't die of AIDS.