I need to stop the vicious cycle!! !
Ok, I'm trying to learn how to not be clingy/desperate/etc! I'm not looking into getting into a relationship any time soon, but I am trying to teach myself some techniques. I came across this website which has a lot of helpful ideas.
http://howtomakeaguyfallinlovewithyou.info/
I also need to build my confidence, because it's at below zero right now. Just thought this page would help both males and females on here. Practice it, it will help you!
nick007
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What's wrong with being clingy & desperate? I would LOVE to find a woman who is
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nick007
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Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
Unfortunately it's not a healthy behavior. I've only come across problems with people who display this type
The world healthy is relative. It's not a problem if clingy person has a partner who is the same way they are
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"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
Unfortunately it's not a healthy behavior. I've only come across problems with people who display this type
The world healthy is relative. It's not a problem if clingy person has a partner who is the same way they are
In my experience it wasn't "healthy" for either of us. We were on a roller coaster ride for the entirety of our relationship and it was complete chaos. Desperation is such an horrible feeling for a person to have I don't think I could ever handle someone I loved feeling this way at all times.
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diniesaur
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Unfortunately it's not a healthy behavior. I've only come across problems with people who display this type
The world healthy is relative. It's not a problem if clingy person has a partner who is the same way they are
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!! You are WRONG! I thought the same thing you did, and I almost paid for it with my life! Do NOT allow yourself to fall into this trap! This is very dangerous. You need to reign in your clingy tendencies and try not to get into a relationship with someone else who is allowing its clingy tendencies to go crazy. If you don't, you could wind up dead or injured, and the people around you will be heartbroken.
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,623
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
Unfortunately it's not a healthy behavior. I've only come across problems with people who display this type
The world healthy is relative. It's not a problem if clingy person has a partner who is the same way they are
In my experience it wasn't "healthy" for either of us. We were on a roller coaster ride for the entirety of our relationship and it was complete chaos. Desperation is such an horrible feeling for a person to have I don't think I could ever handle someone I loved feeling this way at all times.
My limited experience is the opposite. It only was only a problem with my 2nd girlfriend when she became withdrawn. Things went quite well for both of us when she was clingy as well.
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
Unfortunately it's not a healthy behavior. I've only come across problems with people who display this type
The world healthy is relative. It's not a problem if clingy person has a partner who is the same way they are
In my experience it wasn't "healthy" for either of us. We were on a roller coaster ride for the entirety of our relationship and it was complete chaos. Desperation is such an horrible feeling for a person to have I don't think I could ever handle someone I loved feeling this way at all times.
My limited experience is the opposite. It only was only a problem with my 2nd girlfriend when she became withdrawn. Things went quite well for both of us when she was clingy as well.
Yes that is it right there. That's what ultimately happens because a person cannot constantly keep the act up. It's emotionally draining for everyone involved.
_________________
All fantasy should have a solid base in reality.
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,623
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
Unfortunately it's not a healthy behavior. I've only come across problems with people who display this type
The world healthy is relative. It's not a problem if clingy person has a partner who is the same way they are
In my experience it wasn't "healthy" for either of us. We were on a roller coaster ride for the entirety of our relationship and it was complete chaos. Desperation is such an horrible feeling for a person to have I don't think I could ever handle someone I loved feeling this way at all times.
My limited experience is the opposite. It only was only a problem with my 2nd girlfriend when she became withdrawn. Things went quite well for both of us when she was clingy as well.
Yes that is it right there. That's what ultimately happens because a person cannot constantly keep the act up. It's emotionally draining for everyone involved.
It was never keeping up an act with me & it was only emotionally draining for me when she was not the same way as me
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"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
Do you honestly think someone can always be in a state of desperation for their entire life? That sounds so miserable in thought, such an unfulfilled life. It just seems like you would want a partner who is content not one who is prone to extreme frantic states.
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All fantasy should have a solid base in reality.
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,623
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
Do you honestly think someone can always be in a state of desperation for their entire life? That sounds so miserable in thought, such an unfulfilled life. It just seems like you would want a partner who is content not one who is prone to extreme frantic states.
Of coarse I do NOT think that. I think we may have a misunderstanding here. I did NOT feel desperate after we coupled up & I honestly never felt miserable or unfulfilled with her; I was happier with her than I ever been & I became a lot more confident as well. I think desperate people can help each other out when get together with someone who's the same way; it's kind of a symbiotic relationship where they are both better people for having the other. That's how it was for me. I do think there could be major problems depending on how they deal with their clingy & desperateness in the relationship but it can be good if they talk about it & work together to deal with it; think of it as kind of like a 2 person support group.
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
Do you honestly think someone can always be in a state of desperation for their entire life? That sounds so miserable in thought, such an unfulfilled life. It just seems like you would want a partner who is content not one who is prone to extreme frantic states.
Of coarse I do NOT think that. I think we may have a misunderstanding here. I did NOT feel desperate after we coupled up & I honestly never felt miserable or unfulfilled with her; I was happier with her than I ever been & I became a lot more confident as well. I think desperate people can help each other out when get together with someone who's the same way; it's kind of a symbiotic relationship where they are both better people for having the other. That's how it was for me. I do think there could be major problems depending on how they deal with their clingy & desperateness in the relationship but it can be good if they talk about it & work together to deal with it; think of it as kind of like a 2 person support group.
Ah alright thank you for clearing that up then. Yes it could potentially be something that brings both parties together if they are able to both deal with their problems effectively.
_________________
All fantasy should have a solid base in reality.
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,623
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
Do you honestly think someone can always be in a state of desperation for their entire life? That sounds so miserable in thought, such an unfulfilled life. It just seems like you would want a partner who is content not one who is prone to extreme frantic states.
Of coarse I do NOT think that. I think we may have a misunderstanding here. I did NOT feel desperate after we coupled up & I honestly never felt miserable or unfulfilled with her; I was happier with her than I ever been & I became a lot more confident as well. I think desperate people can help each other out when get together with someone who's the same way; it's kind of a symbiotic relationship where they are both better people for having the other. That's how it was for me. I do think there could be major problems depending on how they deal with their clingy & desperateness in the relationship but it can be good if they talk about it & work together to deal with it; think of it as kind of like a 2 person support group.
Ah alright thank you for clearing that up then. Yes it could potentially be something that brings both parties together if they are able to both deal with their problems effectively.
I should of explained it a lot better. I don't know how to explain that stuff well or I forget to sometimes. I DO think it's GOOD that ManicMinx is trying to work on that behavior but I do not necessarily think that being clingy & desperate is a bad thing. It's how you deal with it that makes it good or bad. I hate the way the dating scene tends to treat that behavior as the black plague. People think they need to be completely independent & self-sufficient to be datable. & lotstry to hide/cover it up for as long as they can which eventually causes major problems when it comes out. I wish the dating scene would have a better understanding & be more sympathetic of it & people weren't afraid to be honest about it. I should probably shut-up & quit rambling now
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
Oh wow, I had forgotten that I created this thread LOL Well, I tend to be clingy at first because not knowing what's going to happen nearly drives me insane. After things have settled into a nice relationship, I can relax and actually love a lot of alone time. But I have had so many issues with this in the past, where I drove guys away because I wasn't patient to wait around what would happen.
Maybe it wouldn't exactly be healthy to be desperate or to live in fear of your partner leaving or rejecting you, but to not feel clingy at all to me implies that your partner may as well not be important to you. I would think that they should be the most important, because otherwise there's really no point in being anything more than friends.
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About suffering they were never wrong,
The Old Masters: how well they understood
Its human position; how it takes place
While someone else is eating or opening a window or
just walking dully along...
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