Aspies and terms of endearment

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I was reading a post from an Aspie who said the things that new couples say to each other made him physically ill. I'm assuming he means the use of terms of endearment e.g. babe, honey, darling, sweetheart, dear and possibly other syrupy expressions e.g. "I miss you". If you can relate to this, I'd like to hear your views. Do these things also make you feel physically ill? Is it something you can tolerate or something you prefer to do without? Actually even if you can't relate I'd like to hear your view as well.

Not physically ill per se, but I cringe. If I have to be around certain phrases too much, it's almost physically painful. But it's not just the words; it's the whole thing with being excessively public about your affection. To me, flaunting how much you love each other all the time cheapens it. Save it for your alone time. For this reason I also dislike engagement photoshoots.

okay so let's say these things are only said while the two of you are alone. Would that make a difference?

Yes. But it might make a difference what the words were and the way they are stated.

Me and my ex said some sappy things to each other, but it was generally a kind of making fun of it. She was an aspie I'm pretty certain, which helped. Whenever we get romantic and sappy, we could handle it and enjoy it because we were having fun with it and not taking it seriously.

We did get pretty serious and say some pretty serious things, but the cutesie nicknames and expressions weren't really part of that.

My previous two GFs however, couldn't really handle intimacy or affectionate words too well. They both may have been aspies. One of them called me by my last name. That was her version of a "pet-name". Kind of a reversal for a term of endearment, because to me it revealed a sense of detachment (she was a narcissist). I really didn't like it, but I told myself I didn't mind.

I am not fond of "pet names" I can tolerate "dear" better than the others, but I prefer to have none.

An expression of "I miss you" would be appropriate if we had been parted for a period of time (greater than 1 day, not acceptable if only parted an hour ago) if it was an honest statement, that implied that the person wished I was with them rather than parted.

I'm not really one for it, and to be brutally honest, I don't really care if anyone else uses it.

So what would be acceptable? First names? I'm asking because as an NT once we get to a certain level of confort with another person the "cutsie" names just seem to bubble forth! None of my close friends call me by my first name. I would find it strange if my love interest called me by first name.

If they are continuously saying things like that, then yes.

I feel a little uncomfortable when I hear other couples talking like that but I want to talk like that with my partner. I laugh at this commercial but it's very likely I'll sink to this level with time

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJ5yGLS9_Qw[/youtube]

Oh come on puggle wuggle!

Bahahaha! That video even made ME squirm uncomfortably. Chipmunk? Seriously?

My Aspie hates terms of endearment, too. He seems to tolerate "dear" pretty well. I can get away with about 2 dears and 1 some other term like "my love". Baby and Sweetie get the big thumbs down. I try to be mindful and respectful, but sometimes it just slips from my mouth before I realize it. It just comes naturally to me!

I like terms of endearment, they make me feel safe and cared for. The only one I hated was being called babe or baby, and I'd still hate it from any male that I wasn't totally smitten with. My boyfriend called me baby yesterday and I didn't feel any urge to be upset. Nah, he was being sweet and he can call me anything he wants to. I don't use terms of endearment myself very often, I would have a bit of a problem as I normally use those terms for little cuddly animals. I never really understood the words "I miss you", as I didn't experience a feeling of missing anyone and didn't know how to respond. But, that's different now. I miss my boyfriend most of the day when we're not in contact.

(Oh, by the way, I don't know if I'm an Aspie but I think I could be.)