An OKCupid message that about reduced me to tears.

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So I wrote someone on OKCupid, sending this:

"I enjoyed reading your profile, and I noted how similar our interests our, with your journalistic and photographic pursuits, and my work in film and research. I love this site as much for the professional connections it offers, no?"

She replied thusly:

"I read your profile as well and honestly can say that our interests aren't very similar at all. Besides film and photography, which I suppose you could say correlate, I don't see anything else being compatible in the slightest. So I can't see myself putting down my "walls" for someone who I doubt I'll connect with"

I wrote back: "I'm sorry you feel that way, though I do wish you all the best in finding what it is you are searching for."

But really, I could weep. Why must this be so hard? Why do we people put ourselves and others through such misery, when what we all tend to want is so simple and fundamental. We all just want to connect. What is so wrong about that? Why are people the way that they are, and why do they treat others this way, who are only reaching out? I do not understand. I do not understand.

I am as cold as they get in the eyese of some people. But noone really knows where I am coming from. The truth is there are too many cold hearted people in this world. It sounds like you need some comfort from your friends and I will guess from some people in here too.

*pat on the back*

You don't want someone with so many walls in the first place. Try not to let it get to you.

There are lots of people who are selfish; who see no reason to accept friendship or conversation from someone who can't give them something that they want; or that don't seem worthy of their time.

It's so difficult to understand because no matter how hard you try you can never hope to really understand anyone else. No matter how much I know about a person it doesn't mean I will ever understand why or how they do things. Human's are far too complex.

I'm constantly in your position; wondering why people don't want to let me in. To give me the time and energy I would gladly hand over to anyone who asked... What makes someone like you or me so different?! Who knows. But instead of focusing on why people are the way that they are...just accept that it will happen. That it's not YOU they are refusing, but the opportunity to meet someone new. It's not YOU; don't take it personally. Those people have the problems; those people are inhibiting themselves by shielding themselves from the unknown. They have no courage, and their bias stops them from ever learning how sheltered their lives really are.

Online dating is even worse than real dating. It's all competitive, everyone on there expects perfection, and there is just so much lies and deceit. I give you credit for trying. I personally am unwilling to go through with it and would rather be alone.

It's called "Bait & Burn". You set up a profile that makes you seem accessible, and then slam anyone who responds to it.

Sorta like when some women wear sleazy outfits in public and call any man who even says "Hello" a creep.

They do it for their own sadistic self-gratification.

I'm pretty sure it happens to both genders. It's disappointing for sure but what can you do?
Just shrug it off and move on. I do.

Don't worry... you need to learn approach it with a distance.

I've just about given up on match.com, and am NOT ready to try OKCupid.

I word things wrong in the messages and replies to people who show interest in my profile, and then they get MAD!

WTF!! ! Here I am trying to word my reply as carefully as I can and apparently I'm doing it all wrong.

There must be better way for aspies to go about dating, I think the online way requires too much intuition (something I'm lacking in).

Oh poor Brianruns. Here you all are dissecting his post and all he really needs is a hug.

*hugs Brianruns*

I hope you find your special person soon.