Is it possible........

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I have a suspicion that someone has feelings for me, and given my low self-esteem issues, I have a hard time believing someone can find me attractive and have feelings for me and not think that I am weird.

I am unfortunately pretty weird due to my Aspergers; I suppose some people can see past this and may even like it.

Like I said, I have a suspicion. I am not feeding into it. I just want to leave this person be and not get obsessed (I have become obessed by people in the past; not many but one or two).
But if I wasn't second guessing, I'd think this person likes me. I pick up on extremely subtle things that most people may miss, due to my autism. Like micro-expressions and small behaviours and so on, and what the other person is feeling.

Is it possible that others can see us differently than how we see ourselves. Physically and as people???

I like this person as well. But it is complex. It is not a big deal right now. No conclusions to draw as such.

But I am genuinely curious about this question.

Personal experiences very welcome.

Thank you,
Cf

I think I can see myself in your shoes, considering it sometimes happens to me.
Maybe you should give her a chance. If she really likes you for real, go for it!
If she's faking, leave her alone then.
But if you can't tell, better to ask her about it.
I don't know if it'll work but give it a shot, maybe she will like you back and all.

I think I have met some people before that saw past my Aspergers, like 2 of the employees (1 which was the assistant manager) in my local Hot Topic, whom I befriended and were really nice. Some are just bad, like when the manager of my local Best Buy sounded like it wants me dead for something I didn't even do (he even had no idea I had Aspergers, He just thought I did something bad).

I just got a little taste of that myself recently... Yes, others definitely can see us differently than we see ourselves. It's nice when they're bold enough to share their observations! I thought I was merely being modest, but a few people were kind enough to tell me that it came across as pretty bad self-depreciation. I really didn't think it that in my head... I just didn't want to be Mister Egomaniac!

There's a very, very good chance that some people (especially those who know you) will see you in a better light than you see yourself.

That's a good one for all of us to remember... Bearing in mind that the opposite can also be true.


I guess that's part of what's meant by, "Know Thyself".

I guess, in my view it's how can others not view us differently than ourselves? I've always had the habit of trying to view things from other people's perspectives, because I wonder how the world appears through different eyes. Reality is the raw data in front of us, but for each and every person it gets filtered through past experiences, emotional colorings, personal agendas, what have you. Every person is a cut gemstone, and you can only see a few facets that catch the light at one instant. So how can anyone ever see us the same, or us them? As for know thyself, that can be even more difficult sometimes perhaps because of those same filters.
As for picking up subtleties, sometimes it is glaring obvious and other times I'm oblivious. Sometimes I'm aware I'm missing something,but not what. I just feel it like an undercurrent in the water...sensed but invisible..can't put my finger on it.

I'm starting to ramble I think, but that's what your question brought to mind.

Me personally - I don't handle rejection too well.
As you get older, you tend not to be as outgoing as you were when you were younger.

The probable answer would be to ask them if they would like to go out for a bite to eat or a cup of coffee or something and see if they accept or reject your offer before you lay it all out on the table in front of them.

If the answer is YES - then just take it real slow and see when it goes.
If the answer is no - then just walk away and use this as a learning experience.

If you feel weird, then chances are - they perceive you as being weird.
The only person that can control that is YOU!

Buy normal clothes, wear your hair like other people does, don't do weird things that turns other people off and don't try to be right all the time - even if you are.

Being quiet will sometimes get you more dates then being loud and outgoing. So keep your talk small and don't say anything more then you have to.

How others view you can have nothing to do with how you see yourself.

I have a friend who cares a little too much about me(not in that way, theres a huge age gap), whenever Im feeling fine and Im happy she begins to pester me about whats wrong.

To make things even better she is like you dont need to tell me whats wrong but I know that theres something wrong ...


If you want to be sure there´s only one way to find out what he feels:
Suggest an outing(prefferably just for the two of you) and see how he reacts. Coffee, that new movie that has just been released, that thing that he has talked to you about so much...

If he : has other plans and doesnt offer a rescheduling/ doesnt ask if you would like to meet again some time after its done, chances are he is not that interested in you

"Picking up on subtle cues" is supposed to be the very thing we aspies are UN able to do. Its supposed to be a defining trait of the spectrum.

Maybe we pick up on different things. Or maybe we can pick up on the same things nts pick up on if motivated.

Ive sometimes mediated between pairs of people at work when I instantly understood what both person A and person B were saying in a dialogue, but A and B were misunderstanding each other.

But that was more verbal nuances than body language nuances I was reading.

Apparently you want to KNOW if this person is sweet on you- but are NOT interested in dating them. Thats even more complicated than trying to date them. No advice.