Does anyone think an aspie/aspie relationship would work?

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I have my doubts about a same/same relationship. I mean I can see an aspie couple just ignoring each other most of the time. Maybe you both need the same special interests in order for it to work.

Honestly I would like to hear from any who are aspie who are seeing another aspie or even married to one.

I really want to date an aspie woman. Should I try an aspie dating site? The problem is I have heard that it is very hard to meet someone who lives close to you on these sites because they have very few people on them.

I have tried NT women and I never have much luck only a few dates that lead nowhere or they end up as my friend and then I just break it off with them. Do not see a point in being a friend and seeing them with other people, it just hurts too much and it makes me very awkward when I am around them.

But maybe I need to stay friends and hope they come around which may be just wishful thinking.

From what I understand from literature it's actually more likely to work out. Both partners have some understanding of the motivations behind each others behavior, and things that would be odd for NTs are fairly easy for AS couples.

I've had both NT and AS partners. I'm currently seeing someone of who I'm very sure of has AS. I understand her better - or so I think - so I know what to do when she has issues or when she can't cope. My love for her intense, and I haven't felt like that with any other girl.

I agree, I think it might have a better chance of working out since you both would understand each other's difficulties and where your partner is coming from.

In the same breath however, putting two people who have extensive difficulties with communication in the same room often doesn't have the greatest results lol!

Pluses and minuses.

+being with someone similar to you is easier - less need for flexibility.

-different aspies are different, and it can be harder to adapt to those differences (Aspie-NT==square+round wheel, Aspie-Aspie==2 square wheels...lots of sparks and fragments everywhere.)

-inflexible communication styles and limited executive function can be a bad combination.

Penelope Trunk's parents may be an Aspie-Aspie couple - she has a blog. Problem is that her parent (while well-off and successful) had _a lot_ of police calls.

My in-laws would have been the same, except for residing in a country where jokes such as:
Q: What do the police say to a woman with a broken arm?
A: Go home to your husband.

are actually fairly representative of normal behavior.

My own marriage is challenging, partially because of my wife's resulting upbringing and accompanying behavior, but more so because:

(a) flexibility can be hard, executive dysfunction is a big problem
(b) there's less margin for either of us to exhaust ourselves - as an NT spouse can often cover for an Aspie who needs time alone instead of, eg, doing the dishes, and I believe that an NT would be better at dealing with my wife's anxiety issues.
(c) Having two people who often miss the other person's point of view is challenging.

That said, there's pluses, as an NT would probably have significant issues dealing with my wife's tendency towards extreme plain-speaking and an NT woman would probably take issue with a lack of charming romantic gestures on my part. And, we do have a strong bond.

I'd actually suggest just selecting for women with compatible interests and looking more for, eg, personal compatibility in terms of interests than looks. In practice, women are so under-diagnosed (IMO) that Aspie dating sites are probably not too effective for men. F'r instance, a friend with boardgames as a special interest found a girlfriend who also does nothing but boardgames (and larps..but he's kinda okay with that). Another completely NT musician, though fairly co-dependent, woman is fairly happily married to an Aspie with a strong interest in music.

--Argyle

Not sure, but I'm an autistic in a relationship with someone OCD and bipolarish who does have executive function issues as well. It's been really good, smooth sailing. However, my ex was straight-up bipolar and we mutually agreed to move on.

I have a feeling it would work very well, as a relationship with an NT tends to make me feel like a squeaky cat toy being flung around from party to a club to the beach etc etc.

It could work out because the key is similar interest and enough of it too so as to be socially compatible

However emotional compatibility is another thing where as aspies can be naturally emotional and constantly express their 'feelings' and need a lot of companionship like a. 'co dependency' thing. And some aspies don't talk about their feelings at ALL, and requires not too much interactions.

Therefore aspie or not aspie. You have to be emotionally similar also.

____________________
-If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything! -William Lyon Phelps-

Sure, why not? People like people who are like them! Indeed, I think for some aspies it's the only thing that could work and I'm probably one of them.

There was an article about an aspie-aspie relationship right here on WP not long ago: https://www.wrongplanet.net/article443.html

Both have to have experience, and both have to have no anxiety over the situation.

otherwise you're going to be playing a whole f*****g lot of mind games, alot of frusturation, and piss poor communication, but if not, it's a great thing

For sure. I've been told many times that that kind of relationship works out very well.

i'm hoping mine will work out.

As long as you believe, it most certainly will

They can work just like any other relationship.

but they are challenging.

Yes. Can definitely vouch for that. Last year I found one AS/AS relationship very challenging!
Words of advice - make sure the Aspie you are dating is on the same wavelength/level..if they aren't you'll need a lot of patience.

if you don't mind, did it work out for you both? and if not, what could the failure be reduced to?