Questions about love

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Hi, I have some questions I hope you'll answer for me.


(1) Is the only person you should ever love unconditionally yourself?
¨
(2) Should you always ultimately love yourself more than anyone else?

(3) Is the only healthy love the one you can experience from another person benefitting yourself (as opposed to the love you can feel as a result of you benefitting another person)?

(4) Should your love for others always be conditioned on them bringing some tangible benefit to yourself (good looks, better mood, money etc.)?

(5) Is there ultimately more to "true love" than a cooperation concerned with ensuring continual survival of the human species?

Thank you.

1. No, you should also love your own children unconditionally.

2. There isn't any rule about how much you should love yourself vs. others.

3. Being able to both give and take benefits from love is the healthiest state.

4. No, love doesn't have to benefit you to be a valuable emotional state or catalyst for your actions.

5. Ensuring the survival and happiness of the beloved is usually the goal of romantic love, rather than continuation of the species (not all sets of partners can produce offspring, you know.)

The thing Ive learned about unconditional love is that it must sometimes be done from a distance. For example, if Im involved with someone I love deeply and he hurts me over and over again (yes, this is a true story) then I must eventually continue my unconditional love from a distance after we have broken up. I still honestly love him but I see him as a sick person who doesn't want to get well (stop drinking, stop cheating).

...Did you really seriously identify him as sick?... Oh God, here comes the trolls. Be prepared.

Yes Kinme, alcoholism is generally considered a sickness. It is a kind of mental illness...addiction. So is a compulsive need to cheat.

You should really clarify your posts before you say this kind of stuff. It sounded to me like you were saying his Asperger's was an illness.

<popping popcorn>

In all honesty, I find the slow reveal of these horrible traits a bit defensive. There's always a slow and dramatic escalation involved...

sigh...ONCE AGAIN, I am about as clear as I can be (the sickness refers to the compulsive drinking and/or cheating), and someone says I need to be more clear.....Ohhhhhh KAYYYYYYY.....

I'm just going to ignore the way you're speaking to me right now. *Shrug* Anyway, MjrMajorMajor, pass along some popcorn. Sounds delicious right now.

I was surprised there was no reference in the prior post I read. Clarity: bad relationship=cut the cord. Dramatics only obscure the issue.

PS Kinme, the ex I am referring to does not have Aspergers. I never said that nor is it anywhere implied. I am just very tired of people who seem to either not read my posts carefully AT ALL, OR read into them things I never ever said and I for the life of me, cannot figure out WHY or WHERE you possibly could have gotten that information.

K. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Are you done yet?

Major Minor i think you are assuming that the ex I am referring to in this post is the same person I referred to in an entirely different thread. Remember what they say about assuming?

This is getting So tiresome. I thought Aspies were supposed to be logical and take things at face value. All Ive gotten is the drama of emotionalism, defensiveness, and bullying before simply asking questions here at Wp- which would go a long way toward understanding what is being said.

1) I don't think so. I feel that way about my significant other and my family members.
2) No, I don't believe that.
3) I don't think so. I'd much rather make other people happy. It makes me happy to see others happy.
4) Not to me, no.
5) I think there is. I feel way more complete having someone in my life there for me. I feel like I always have someone to talk to and share time with.

1) No. There might come a time in your life when that love needs to be shared. However, do love and respect yourself before you try to love and respect others.
2) Similar answer to above. You might have kids one day, a spouse, an ill relative.
3) Some might argue depending on this sort of love is toxic and unhealthy. Again learn to love and respect yourself first, and then the health of your relationships with people won't be an issue.
4) This is the reason why many relationships no longer work out.
5) We have evolved to a point where this is nearly irrelevant IMO. Differing sexual orientations and lack of interest in having children among heterosexuals are abundant. Let's not forget the countless suits, politicians and warlords which have the continuation of the human race as their lowest priority.