When to tell NT's you date of your "condition"

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It seems to me that someone on the spectrum could easily overlook cues when they date, or not make the "moves" that are expected (like kissing at the end of the night) on a date. It makes sense it could be better for people to know this is a problem. I have the idea it's better for people to know early on as if someone has an issue with it, better to know sooner than later that it wont go any further.

So, any opinions? Do you tell them early on?

Would you tell them about your ASD if it's not yet clinically diagnosed?


Thanks for reading

i would go along with the 'need to know' rule.
start out by explaining some of the directly visible effects (the things you just mentioned), but i wont go into detail in the first few dates.
once the two of you are closer and you feel safe, you can return to those effects and expand on them, in the way of: "remember when i told you about *insert symptoms*? well, i now feel safe enough to tell you they are due to my aspergers", or something simular.

this is what i do for new friends, housemates, assignment/lab partners, collegues.... they always understand that and why i held back the actual disclosure

I wouldn't tell the person I'm dating until its been a month. You don't want people to think that aspergers is what defines you, and a lot of people will get that impression if you tell them early on in the dating world.

Usually the first time we meet up I just say in an offhand way, "Sorry if I come across odd or don't look you in the eye, I have some trouble meeting people but it's nothing personal." Then I continue to mention specific things I have a problem with as the need arises. I don't mention autism or asperger's unless we get to the point we're having serious discussions about stuff like that. Usually after a few dates, if things are still good. I think it's fair for them to know before we get super serious, but not something I blurt out to every prospective partner before I even know if we like each other.

That said, I met my current guy while I was pretty drunk and after we'd been talking as part of a group for a while and I knew I liked him, I went over and introduced myself and said, "So, I have Asperger's, do you?" Turns out he doesn't but we both thought it was a good laugh and everyone says it's a really cute meeting story.

I don't date [married forever] but when I meet someone new I mention that I'm creatively wired. I'm not specific for awhile. Someone told me it comes across as mysterious.

theres no need to bring up your diagnosis so soon. you don't need to announce that you have that label. just act as you normally do and she either likes you or not. me, i'd wait till a couple dates

The later the better, I guess.

In my first relationships, I couldnt tell, because of me not knowing myself. I tried to act normal but failed, and then decided to give up on that relationship thing.

Later on, when a friend, knowing me, "pushed" me into an relationship with him I didnt tell (Didnt still know it at the beginning.), but I didnt hide my issue as well. So what he saw, was what he got, and it was as well not that problem as before, because of him knowing me anyway for about a yeare before as normal friends, so he know I was weird. When it was later about kids and marriage, I did tell him, because when its about a partner that you see right in front of him, you dont need a label to know if you like that or not. But when its about kids, I think he should know, that my kind of weirdness, is inheritable.

I think as long as you dont hide your quirkiness, there is no need to tell someone that there is a spacial label for it. I am not a brand clothing, so either you like the shirt you see, or you dont like it, it doesnt depend whats label it is.

^ yea, the label sounds scary (I have ASPZERGERR BURRGHHHAAA).

Better that she thinks of you as weirdo or odd than to think of you having this weird-sounding label.

I'm usually quite upfront about it if I click with someone. Mainly because I don't do small talk well and tend to get into deeper personal and intellectual conversations. I wouldn't make it part of a first date conversation however.

I know I'm awkward but I tend to keep a sense of humor about it and can make it ironically charming. Weird girls love that s**t!

I tell them as soon as possible. If they bail, they bail soon, before I get attached to them.