What is wrong with me?

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I've mentioned in other posts that I'm in love with my best friend, who likely won't ever return my feelings. We're just friends, nothing more and will probably never be more. Yet any time I look at another woman I feel guilty...like I'm betraying her or something. Whether it's out & about, fruitlessly browsing OKCupid or even just checking out the girls on PLL or DWTS...I just feel like I'm doing something wrong. Why?

I mean this right on the level- the first thing i thought of when reading your post, was- do you feel you knew this person in a previous lifetime?

Have you tried escaping the friendzone?

It happens, but there's only one way to find out.

Regardless, this is my recommendation to you either way. Tell her how you feel, and ask if the feelings are mutual. Be prepared for a 'no.' If it is a 'no,' go back home & hit OKCupid guilt-free, or enjoy your new romance if it's a 'yes.'

That's a clear win-win plan.

Photographic evidence of someone breaking free of the friendzone


I experienced attractions-from-a-distance in my late teens & early 20s. Much like what you're describing. Overall, I regret letting myself get like that. I did muster the guts to try to break out of the friendzone twice in my life. My success rate was 50%. If it was baseball, that's be a 10-figure-a-year salary.

^^ sometimes he can know the answer without getting himself in such awkward situation.

Does she talk about others guys in front of you? Do you have any idea what's her type of guys?

She knows how I feel about her....and she's back with an ex who also happens to be a mutual friend. When I saw them together a few weeks ago, I couldn't eat or sleep for a week and didn't even want to get out of bed the day after because I got so depressed I didn't care if I dropped dead. I've wanted to be with her from the second she walked into my life, and only grew to love her more and more as we got to know each other better. I finally told her how I feel a few months ago, but held back for 7 years ( I met her a day or so before she started dating my other best friend who I mainly think of as a brother...and who's such a drama queen I can barely tolerate him lately ) largely out of fear I might lose her.

I've always felt this spark, this energy between us...but I don't know if she's ever felt it or simply doesn't want to admit it to herself. Thing is, I only want to be with her...5 minutes with her means more to me than all the TV & video games in the world. I guess all I can do is keep doing & saying things to remind her how I feel in the hope that one day we'll be together ( her birthday is in just under 2 weeks. I bought her a beautiful card and wrote a little something in it that seemed kind of romantic without crossing a line as well as a frame for a picture of the 2 of us at Pumpkin Fest I had printed from my 3DS )....

Last edited by newageretrohippie on 06 Nov 2013, 12:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah...to use a reference not everyone will get, I feel like we're Piper & Leo: always missing each other until that one life we finally get it right. Only, I may have to wait until the next life...


BTW, that was a Charmed reference if you're curious.

the only thing I can think of, is that you have to decide if this other person is worth all the drama, or not. if so, then you have to figure out what you are doing that is failing to attract her. if it is something you can change, then change it. if it is not something you can change, then set your sights elsewhere, as there is more than one fish in the sea, as none of them are more than mere mortals.

Funny, she's the reason I'm changing myself as it is. She makes me want to be a better man, so that I might someday be worthy of her. I'm learning how to cook, I'm FINALLY getting a cell phone next month ( largely so she can reach me more easily if she needs me. I'm always there for her. ), I just bought the Fit Meter & Balance Board to play Wii Fit U ( game is free for me! ) for some exercise, we talked about joining a gym, I'm thinking about trying to learn to drive...I've even cut back on my gaming and started giving up sooner if I get frustrated. Now if I could just find me some track pants that don't cost me $25+ a pop so I'm not wearing sweats all the time.... ( I'm only comfortable in sweats, track pants & pajama pants... ). Only things I really can't change are the kinds of clothes I wear and my eating habits ( which she's OK with...we have dinner together once a month and try to find a compromise as to where we go since I'm extremely picky and her only thing is trying to avoid gluten. and she's never embarrassed to be seen with me )

Self-torture.

And I don't see any future in this, forget it.

You should just be enjoying this girl's friendship.

If a relationship was going to happen, it would have already.........

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHgfnO6Pkrg[/youtube]

In the end, it might be worth it to just cut and run. Instead of waiting for an event that almost never will happen.

Sounds like limerence, I've been in that state before. The best thing to do is move on.

I am the pickiest eater in existence because I avoid gluten on miniscule levels to prevent celiac disease flares. For her sake I hope she's not gluten intolerant or a diagnosed celiac and going out to eat once a month while thinking she's being cautious enough.

a lot of things...


but isn't there something wrong with all of us? For instance, Megan Fox sucks at acting and Kesha sucks at singing without auto tune. We just gotta play with the cards we've been dealt.

Blabby, can you please explain this? I really want to know more about this.