Why is everyone so miserable?

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appletheclown
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08 Feb 2014, 7:18 pm

I don't have this issue as I seem to enjoy myself.
I need friends, yeah, I do. But I also need a job, and to move out.
But everyone seems to be miserable here. I never have any takers
on these threads I make that much. But on the off hand, tell us why
you are miserable? Why don't we cheer you up? Advice by all means give it.

Why so serious? Be specific.


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NTGuyBR
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08 Feb 2014, 7:53 pm

In my case, I am an adult and I still live with my parents. I have a good family and a job, but ...
- I have shyness and low self-esteem, which makes me socialize with people.
- Recently I have suffered a lot because of loneliness ... I do not have almost any friends or relationships.
- I thought things were going to change when I met my ex-gf aspie (this is the reason I discovered this forum) ... but we broke up.
- Now live with the loneliness and heartbreak.


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AdamAutistic
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08 Feb 2014, 8:17 pm

i am happy


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warsend
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08 Feb 2014, 8:46 pm

I've been happy with my social life as it has increased with how much i go out/etc. I'm trying to find a girlfriend right now. The only problem is I'm in a transition phase (college) meaning I'll be in one place for half the year, half the year at another.

It also doesn't help I thought this chick was interested but apparently she wasn't. A little blow to my confidence but nothing crushing. Right now I'm trying to decide if I only want a relationship out of desperation or if I want to truly find that someone.

That's why I've turned to online dating, at most gatherings, the girls have been very crazy, as an aspie, I know the odds of those types of girls to be a good match with me are small. Ironically, my best friends that are male are extremely outgoing, I guess it's a yin/yang type of thing.

Just curious of what I'm looking for in a girl, maybe I'm too picky? That's where I stand. You have to understand most people in here are looking for advice, you aren't going to see post after post saying "I'm sooo happy I met the right guy!! !!!Life is perfect!! !".



Ann2011
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08 Feb 2014, 8:58 pm

Image

Seriously though, I've had chronic depression since 1980. I take my meds, but lately I've been sinking. Maybe it's the weather. This winter has been terrible. But I'm in my 40s now and I have lost hope of ever feeling anything but stress and burden. Lately I was outed on the forum as "sad and bitter," and really it's true. I just don't know what other reaction would be appropriate to life.


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justkillingtime
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08 Feb 2014, 9:32 pm

Ann2011 wrote:
Image

Seriously though, I've had chronic depression since 1980. I take my meds, but lately I've been sinking. Maybe it's the weather. This winter has been terrible. But I'm in my 40s now and I have lost hope of ever feeling anything but stress and burden. Lately I was outed on the forum as "sad and bitter," and really it's true. I just don't know what other reaction would be appropriate to life.


You seem kind and assertive based on what I read on Wrong Planet. To me, "sad and bitter" is what happens when life beats you up.


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Ann2011
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08 Feb 2014, 9:58 pm

Thanks . . . I can't help the assertive thing; it's my nature.


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headhunter228
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08 Feb 2014, 10:52 pm

Not necessarily miserable...just lonely.

The main reason I joined up is to look for dating advice tailored to an Aspie, to be honest. I've never had an actual girlfriend in my life, and I'm looking to change that. I've been lonely for most of my adult life, and it has interfered with my college work at times.


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sly279
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08 Feb 2014, 11:44 pm

i have no friends, no love, no job, i never get out, i feel like i'm a monster alot, i seem to say wrong things sometimes, thats the
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Fnord
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09 Feb 2014, 12:11 am

Miserable? Everyone?

Pain is inevitable. Some whine and carry on with high drama about the pain they endure, while the rest of us have learned to deal with pain and still enjoy life, because misery is optional.



redrobin62
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09 Feb 2014, 1:43 am

Would I call myself miserable? Well, I'm not jumping up and down for joy at the moment. As a matter of fact, I don't enjoy doing the things I used to in the past. I feel like a slug taking up space.



justkillingtime
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09 Feb 2014, 2:01 am

Fnord wrote:
Miserable? Everyone?

Pain is inevitable. Some whine and carry on with high drama about the pain they endure, while the rest of us have learned to deal with pain and still enjoy life, because misery is optional.


I believe misery is sometimes optional but sometimes unavoidable.


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auntblabby
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09 Feb 2014, 2:19 am

the only thing that makes misery tolerable is that to all things there is an end.



aspiesandra27
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09 Feb 2014, 3:27 am

I think we have a lot of struggles, that highlight how different we are from NT's, and that can at times make us feel less integrated, and consequently the odd ones out. It shouldn't. But it does.

The way I see it, is that because we *do* have so many struggles, when the good things happen, they fill us with a relish that is that much more intense and special.

Like Fnord said, we can work at being better. At feeling better. I have been waiting for therapy for almost 3 years now, and in the meantime have had to work with what tools I have over the internet, keep a full time job, and a load of other stuff too depressing to even mention.

Like the saying goes..."Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and start being positive about what could go right".

All we can do, is try. I'm trying. Every day we get another change to go at it again.



newageretrohippie
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09 Feb 2014, 3:46 am

Why am I miserable?

1- I'm about to hit 33 and still haven't been on a date or kissed a girl

2- tying into #1, I can't even fantasize anymore...I'm so madly in love with my best friend she's all I think about, dream about or fantasize about. I can't even look at another woman with out feeling guilty. But she'll probably never feel the same way about me...

3- I'm a gamer but basically suck at EVERYTHING.

4- good TV shows keep getting canceled for utter garbage ( I have no life... )


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MadeUnderground
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09 Feb 2014, 3:56 am

I don't think most of the posters here are miserable.

I think just more of the vocal ones are.

I for one am not miserable, lonely, or in any way upset/depressed about anything.

I need to work on my self esteem, sure, but it doesn't effect my day to day life, much less my posting on an internet forum.