bye bye halfmadgenius.

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Bye bye halfmadgenius. I am going to delete my online dating profiles, take a break, and then if nothing changes rewrite them all from scratch. With a new handle because maybe admitting to being a half mad genius scares guys off.

Give myself a whole new image. And let them learn I am harmless before they figure out I'm a little mad. The nice looking, intellectual guys with PhDs ignore me. What I get is a box full of sleazy guys laying on the cheesy pickup lines. With poor grammar and spelling. Or text speak, ugh!

If I reply to those clowns at all it's to correct them. Or to berate them for being to lazy to type out the words 'you are'

If only I could meet a nice, smart, kind man in real life and give up these crappy sites for good. I even paid for a gold member ship on gk2gk. I will not pay for another month, I had 1 guy message me, 1! And he was not what I am looking for at all.

So I am deleting my profiles and taking a break from online not dating.

If any one knows where educated men hang out IRL and how to start a conversation with them please, PLEASE, let me know.

When I first saw your screen name, I thought you were a guy - then I guess you are a woman unless you are a guy looking for a guy.

No offense, but among engineers, and mind you, many engineers are Aspies, someone with a PhD in an engineering field can be 'difficult to work with' or 'not interested in help getting product out the door'. Can't speak for other fields.

Are you an intellectual with a Phd yourself, Halfmadgenius?

I tried focusing on more 'intellectual' women particularly Engineer/Science types but they never ever replied back. I can only assume that having only a Bachelors and being unable to find work in my field (but I still make decent $$$) must turn them off or they are just swamped with responses since they are so hard to find. I'm in your boat in that the only women who message me are ones I would not give the time of day to in real life even to ask the time to and of all the cash I put down on eHarmony I got exactly one conversation and zero dates. Most communication I halted quickly because they were such awful matches.

To answer your question, I do play hockey (surprise!) with a bunch of guys with mostly Masters and a few PhDs mixed in. Unfortunately, they are mostly married. They seem to go the same places everyone else goes to my knowledge and you would not know by looking at them. Both my brother and I can look like teenage thugs on the weekend with sloppy, baggy clothes and a wild unshaven look but we are both quite intelligent, him more so than me. We had some fun with this sitting in the 'executive' area at a MLB game once since he is loaded with money. You would probably walk right past me on the street and wouldn't even notice me except my height unless I was dressed up since I work in a blue collar environment due to lack of available jobs in the business world. Maybe I answered my own dilemma about not meeting decent women right there As for starting a conversation, I am flattered when any woman starts one with me and LOVE to talk I just have no idea how to start (not maintain) one myself and most decent guys would agree. My interests are simply too damn obscure and sail over the heads of most people. A good number intelligent men are also reserved if not painfully shy.

I'm still up for dating but like yourself, I am done with online at least for now. Don't bother with re-writing it the more effort I put in the less response I get almost like I am too good to be using a dating site. Seems like being able to use proper spelling and grammar (most of the time....) is a big turnoff for some bizarre reason. I too would love to know where the intelligent people of the world hand out: I simply cannot find them anywhere!

The greatest density of educated men will be found near universities. Lots of them stay in the area after finishing their degrees if they can find a job. They like the intellectual atmosphere. Start a conversation with them about something intellectual in the immediate enviroment- the museum piece you are both near, the political rally happening right there, the research project being discussed at the symposium you are both attending etc. If you like the guys with PhDs, you have to go to where PhDs are minted and talk about things which a person could concievably get a PhD in.

edited to add:
In order to get a better sense of your starting point, I went back to the beginning of your post history- the place where people usually give introductory information about themselves. Back at that beginning you introduced yourself to WP with a post wondering where to find smart men. You said you were in a small town with no museums and not much culture and didn't go to college because you didn't have the money. This generated a very long thread which was mostly other posters arguing about smart men. But buried in that thread was one good piece of advice which was that you could audit a college course without having to pay tuition.The smart men are in that course (whatever it may be) so it's well worth doing.

Also buried in that thread was a reference to your employment at a local hospital. Good! A resume that has you working at a hospital will make it so much easier for you to get a job at another hospital, one near a university. The Phd-toting men you seek are most densely packed near a university. There are undoubtedly some men with Phds within a 5 mile radius of you but they are statistically likely to be middle aged men in the middle of their careers and married. To get odds on your side, you need to be near a university. That old post also said you were in a small town in the South United States. "South" is a pretty big area but Clemson, Duke and Emory all come to mind. There are hospitals near them too, which you have an increased chance of finding a job at due to already having a hospital job.

Get out of that small town and get yourself to Chapel Hill or some such.

Educated men (and women) hang out in cities that have jobs for educated people. A year ago, in the town I lived in, only 10% of adults had a college degree. In the town I live in now, it's probably closer to 70%, and it shows everywhere I go.

You pretty much want to avoid the entire deep South (although there are a few exception cities), education isn't exactly a top priority there. I lived there for 27 years (in quite a few different places) so you can take my word for it!

Unfortunately I live in the deep south. I have no money to move and besides, my mom lives here. An education is not 100% vital. I am just sick of dealing with idiots. I need someone to talk to. I am dying for an intelligent conversation.

You can always find the intelligent conversation here on WP provided you pass over some threads (you get to know them by the thread creator's handle eventually) but by my own armchair observation I had the impression that the creator of this thread was male and from Britain, Canada, Australia or S. Africa

That's not the same. I mean real time face to face conversation. Perhaps discussing the future of manned space exploration or string theory or even Monty Python with one person right there with me. Intelligent companionship. I am lonely in real life.

I want a life away from the computer. I want true, real friendship. A relationship. Not just opinions of people who do not exist to me except as disembodied words one a cold screen

I have to be honest. I don't think your profile is the problem. I think it is your low self-esteem in relation to dating. I bet if you shifted your focus away from all dating, not just online dating, and onto other things that would bring joy to your life, you would be in a better mental space for dating because you won't be so attached emotionally to the outcome. People who have negative self-concepts, are unhappy with their lives, or seem desperate do not attract quality partners. Of course, I do not know you very well so I could be wrong.

Last edited by em_tsuj on 25 Apr 2014, 12:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

You had me at Python, future space exploration is possible though it's highly illogical not to recommission STS flights or at least see if Buran would ever make it off the ground, but the only string theory I'm familiar with is 4, 6, and 12!

We are all battling the same demons - on one level it's easier to have the sincerity come across online but it does little for morale, and IRL; might as well forget it. It's like the best years and opportunities pass by while we're hyperfocusing on whatever. Additionally, I know the feeling of having a difficult time telling someone their hair is on fire, never mind giving a compliment that doesn't sound like a platitude, to freely geek out would be a dream, but it comes with the territory I suppose

(DAM YOU, spacebar)

You probably wont find much educated or intelligent men online, because dating is not their priority.

Educated people are busy working, in order to be good in your field you have to sacrifice A LOT of personal time. Some places you may find them is science or business conferences, at your work, on transit to work, and meetup or interest groups (educated people are more likely to have hobbies).

Intelligent people are pretty rare in general, so you have to be patient to find them.

Not sure why you are fixated on educated or intelligent. Some of them can be snobby or rude too. You may wanna give some regular guys a chance, they may surprise you.

I'm in FL.. I don't think you can get deeper south than that.

You have no location indicated in your profile so its rather hard for anyone in this site to know if you're close or not.

Have you tried first making friendships with men online in intellectual forums? You never know who can live near you. Hell, sometimes having a more intimate intellectual conversation online can lead to great things.

What would we talk about? I tried flirting with a cute cashier at Lowes and a butcher at the market. I think they might have been interested. But even if one did ask me out I worry we'd have nothing to talk about.

I don't watch TV. Dont care about cars. Hate sports. And I can't get interested in celebrities at all. The only stars I care about are a few million light years away.

My ex, the one I lived with, on our first date we discussed alternate designed for a self sustaining multigeneration starship. The other was willing to talk about quantum physics. I need that kind of mental stimulation from anyone I am going to spend my life with.

I already have a rock collection, I don't need a mate with that IQ.

LOL - you sound like my friend's wife.



In one of the more dumb ass moments in my life, in grad school, a bunch of guys under my thesis advisor (sp?) all decided to take the same quantum physics class, and I took it too, even though I didn't need it. I came in second on grades behind a really smart guy from India. Later, two of the guys jumped ship and went to a highly respected research prof. My big mistake was not realizing that I could have done the same thing if I was willing to get out of communication and move to semiconductor research too - these guys lit the path for me, and I, the pig-headed dumb ass, didn't see it. But no, I had to leave with a master's degree (yes the same guy that criticized the PhDs).