I have a crush on my cousin?!

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I'm 15, and I have a crush on my cousin who's 13. She's on my mom's side (my parents are divorced) and on my mom's side of the family that is considered incest. But I love her dearly, and I don't know how to break it to her, or how to prevent my family from finding out. And by the way, do not tell me about genetic diseases in our possible future children, because there is a 2-3% chance in non-related couples having a child with a birth defect, and a 4-6% chance with first cousins. And plus
this wouldn't sound as weird to someone of my ethnicity, (Turkish) as it would to an American. What do i do?

Gosh...you're both children (one in, the other barely out of, middleschool).

I would hold off acting on it (getting romantically involved with her).

A couple years from now ( when you'll be a couple years into highschool) you will have dated one more people, and will have forgotten all about your cousin.

Happened to me one time, that I became attached to one. But fortunately we lived very far apart and nothing ever developed. It also happened at a young age.

The best advice I can give is to not persue it and try and stay away so it naturally fades and other things take its place. I also would not tell anyone, including the cousin. At some point it may be safe to reconnect as friends, but it will be when you are older and you know it is a thing of the past.

If you can get a crush on one person it can happen with others, but others will not have the built-in problems that getting to close to a family member will bring. Think of her also, and not wanting to bring any trouble into her life.

If it is not reciprocated, it is just a crush, all your point on birth defects are irrelevant. She also only 13.

In Peru there lot of cousin marriage as Pakistan. Whilst it may not cause defect straight away, it doesn't narrow the gene pool.

I know a family in Peru, the entire female line is supper susceptible to cancer. They are sadly dying off like flies.

Saying something about it is probably the worst thing you can do. I somehow doubt it's mutual.

I would recommend keeping your relationship with her strictly "family". If your relatives are not pro "marrying within the family", it'll be awkward for you, her, and everyone else. It might even provoke some strong negative reactions.

It's ok to have a crush, but it's not always ok to act on it. Good luck!

Stay away from your cousin in the romantic or sexual sense!! Very seldom is this mutual. If it is mutual, you will ruin her life and chances for a good future and yours too. If you are a decent person, hold true to what I just told you. Find someone that reminds you of her that is not a relative or even a distant one. NEVER say that this person reminds you of your cousin. Even if someone else says it, change the topic immediately. Your feelings are more common than you think in regards to young people on the spectrum - even college age. It's the choices that we make that really make or break our lives. Feelings are just felt. Choose to NEVER act upon these feelings for your cousin. Keep your mouth shut about this and move on. This situation is not unique. Look for those things that you like about your cousin in someone else. It's an asset to know what you admire in a person. This will help you later on in life. You now have something to thank her for but only in your heart. NEVER tell her any of this. It wouldn't be appropriate to say until you are both close to 95 years old. Then it really doesn't matter. You will both laugh about this 80 years from today when you reflect back on life itself.

You don't love her, you don't even know what love is. These are just your insane hormones acting out.

Seriously when I was around 16, my cousin who I hadn't seen since she was about 9 came over, we're about the same age and when I saw her my jaw dropped, couldn't believe she turned into something this beautiful, I REALLY wanted to get with her.

Nowadays I cringe when I think about that, but those are just your insane teen hormones raging, that stuff will go away with a little bit of time. It seems especially prone to being there if you hadn't seen the person in a long time and they've not yet taken the status of sister/brother.

Don't do anything stupid, but give yourself time and like the above person said, try to look for her in other people. Although a 15 year old teen male isn't exactly at the top of the totem pole (girls your age are going for older guys, and they see themselves as much more mature than you), it's not exactly an easy position for you to be in, but one that you have to endure for a bit.

It is hard for me to tell you what to do because I live in a different culture. However, I want to tell you that having those feelings is normal and nothing to be ashamed of. I have had crushes on attractive female cousins. I just never acted on them because having a sexual/romantic relationship with a cousin (even distant cousins) is taboo in my culture.

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so conflicted about this situation. However, you do not have to do anything about this crush if you don't want to. If you don't act on it, there will be no negative consequences. Eventually those feelings will die down. Crushes usually go away after a while if you don't act on them.

How close of a cousin is she - first cousin, second cousin, etc? I live in Alabama. Nuff said However, nobody in my family has married a cousin, but my husbands family which comes from Washington DC and are kind of snooty and well off is a different story. His sister married her second cousin. It's legal there. Here too. Not sure about first cousins though. Anyway, they have two beautiful kids and one beautiful grandson and another grandbaby on the way.

As for diseases, it's only when you have two recessive genes that match up that cause that. It's just more likely in blood relatives. In many families in the past, especially royal families and very well off families that had a "dynasty" type thing going, first and second cousins were your only choices for matrimony. I've read about some, hundreds of years ago, that married brother and sister to each other, among other things. They didn't look at it like we do now though.

I agree that you shouldn't say anything though. Just hang out and talk and do regular things together. Don't make the first move. Seriously give it a few years until you are both older before you say anything. Remember, if she doesn't feel like you do it's going to be embarrassing and you won't ever be able to get away from her or any other family members that she might tell. It's not like at school where you will eventually not see her anymore. This girl is somebody you are stuck with being related to for life. Be real careful with it.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

Think of who your cousin came out, lol.

Plenty of fish around, why the cousin really?

It'll damage you, her and your family more than anything else could of ever.

You'd be down the same societal league as a pedophile if you continue this stuff.

The problem as I see it is the fact that I can say with 99% accuracy that the cousin won't feel the same. It's not normal to be in love with your cousin. I feel this guy saying anything will ONLY do damage.