I need some dating advice from women

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So here's the deal. As I've indicated in a previous post, I went on an eharmony date with a pretty lady this past Saturday. I'm a single parent aspie with a 6 year old boy, and he'll general spend every other weekend with his uncle because he loves them dearly. My date has made it clear she wants initial dates to be without my son and quite frankly she didn't need to say this, I wouldn't want my kiddo going on initial dates either. So basically this gives us every other weekend to meet up.

While this pace might suit me as an Aspie, I have that annoying tendency to make the person I'm dating my special interest. But she has a life of her own, we've only been on one date, so really she hasn't even established if I'm potential long term material or not, she's just agreed to a second date.

So here's my question. I've been texting every morning and sometimes evenings to wish her a good day, or hope she's had a good day, etc. I called her and talked for about an hour since our first date. Should I refrain from texting/calling her, if she's not initiating any of these texts/calls? What I'm really asking is, as a women, what would *you* want from a guy who you are interested in enough for a second date, there's a long gap before you can see each other again, and you are not completely sure about yet?

Thanks for your advice!

I'm a dude, but...

You may be calling and texting too often. Women find that behavior needy and/or desperate. It also, in a way, shows a lack of trust (that she'll see you again). Heck, I've made that mistake before. Especially considering that you've only gone on one date with your lady friend. If you're doing all the work of initiating contact, then it's time to slow down, bro. She has to call or text you at least 25% of the time. I'd say start phasing out the daily contact. Don't call or text her on a particular day, because you "forgot". Then a day or two later, call or text her like nothing is wrong. Repeat until the next date, which hopefully will happen. End all contact if she ignores you for more than three days.

I think it will vary. Some people will think that 1 or 2 texts a day is too much whereas others would happily text all day long. Has she given any indication that you're texting her too much? Does she try to prolong the exchange with questions or are her replies quite short and blunt?

You are texting her too much. Definitely. You should probably not be texting her AT ALL at this point, unless it is to arrange details of your next date. You're going to freak her out.

Yeah ... I think hold back a little on the texting. But I sympathize with you. I am in a situation where my partner is unavailable much of the time and it frustrates me. I would like a partner to share my days with, not get together for a date every now and then.

When a woman never initiates texting, then it's always a bad sign = no real interest. Hope this will change after the second date but keep your hopes low.

I thought that at first but then I thought if he texts her every morning then maybe she doesn't get the chance to initiate? It's probably best to just ask her. Personally I would want a guy to seem keen but I know other women who would feel it was too much.

I am not sure there's "no interest". She seemed sincere when I called her the other day, and when I texted her last night she responded very quickly. My concern though is I asked her a question and she never responded and has not done so this morning.

Basically, I think you all are giving good advice. I'm initiating conversations like 90% of the time, and potentially coming across as needy. So bottom line, the conversation ended with me asking a question and getting no response. The conversation is going to have to be started again by her either asking the question, or beginning a new conversation.

I'm crossing my fingers because I'm interested in her, and she has agreed to a second date. But she's mentioned a couple of guys in the past who were clingy and I think it was a warning, either intentional or not. For the record, this is very hard for me to do. I tend to get butterflies in my stomach over waiting and all that jazz, but it's been a long time since I've been on the dating scene and I think I'll get used to it.

Okay, so I'm really nervous and I need to emphasize, this is hard for me, but when you're right, you're right. Breath in, Breath Out, Daniel San.

What did you ask her?

She quit her job and has about 2 months to go before she can stop (she signed a contract to stay longer because they needed her). I told her maybe she should have a party of some sort when her job is finally over, and she said she'll have a big party. I asked her if she had it planned already, and got no response, as of last night.

She may have thought that you were attempting to try to plan the party or to secure an invitation. That could be seen as clingy. Best to drop the subject.

So she initiates 10% of times? I thought you were talking about zero.

Just stop texting for a day and see if she ever initiates during the whole day.

Was it quite late when you were texting? Maybe she fell asleep?

Yeah, she may have thought I was trying to secure a conversation, I'll be dropping the conversation. The last thing I would want is an invitation to a party of mostly women I don't know when I have Asperger's. If I was invited, I'd make an excuse to bail on the party even if it would further the "relationship".

Yeah, not zero percent, but 10% aint great. Honestly, I'll *try* to wait longer then a whole day if I can make it.

I sent the message at 9:15 last night, and if she was doing stuff, she could of fallen asleep, thought crossed my mind. Even if she ended the conversation, I'd still be asking this question because basically everybody is saying I'm texting too much and need to lay off. In my corner, when I initially texted her, she responded like immediately. Less then a minute. So this isn't like all one sided, but it's MOSTLY one sided.

Anyway, it's 3:20 PM now and haven't heard back from her, so this is more then just falling asleep.

I asked a similar question a while back, and the general response I got was that you should only text someone to set up dates, and that any further texting can be annoying. Most people nowadays don't like to talk on the phone, so I wouldn't call at all in the early stages.

I'm autistic, so I'm probably not a good source. If a guy I'd already gone on a first date with asked me out on a second date, and I liked him enough to say yes to a second date, I would just think him texting me and calling me between the two dates meant that he liked me. I would see it as a very good thing.

I also wouldn't initiate the phone call/text. I'm a feminist, but because I'm terrified of cold calling or leaving voice mail and because I believe some things are best left to tradition, I'm more comfortable with him calling me.