Am I doing the correct thing?

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There is a socially awkward guy in my computer class who I like. He is really quiet, doesn't really talk to anyone and is often described as "strange". I finally spoke to him the day I purposely moved next to him. When I spoke to him we had a lot in common. The next class I was looking forward to talk to him, but he didn't acknowledge me. He talked to the guy next to him though. Then when class ended I gave him my number on a piece of paper and he said with a smile, "Oh alright." I forgot to ask for his though.

The next class was the same thing. He didn't speak to me yet asked the guy next to him questions about an assignment. I caught him looking at me through the corner of his eye though. After class I asked if he could write his number on my notebook. He stared at me with a serious look, and said, "Right now isn't the time for this. I have to really go now". I felt a bit hurt, but then told myself maybe it wasn't the best timing because I asked him as he was entering the bathroom. He missed class the next day so I sent him an email with the notes he missed. He didn't respond. Eventually I took his coldness towards me as obvious rejection.

Last class I decided to move my seat away from him and sit next to my friend. I think he picked up on that because that class he kept staring at the computer I used to sit by.

I was hurt really badly before and fear experiencing that pain again. I want to be his friend, but his coldness towards me puts me off. He doesn't have the best social skills as it is, so I don't know what I should do. Should I continue ignoring him? Anyone with a similar story? Thanks!

Hey dobyfm.

If you sincerely want to be his friend, then be a friend. Don't ignore him even if he's acting cold towards you. With any kind of relationship/friendship, it requires a degree of vulnerability, and yeah, you may end up getting hurt at some point, but the risk may be well worth it in the end.

If he's anything like me (and I suspect he is), he may not realize you are interested in him and is annoyed with your intrusion into his personal world.

Maybe come right and say that you're interested in him. If he's receptive to a relationship, then he will accept, otherwise, he may just view you as an annoyance.

THis is really similar to what i have done (several times), looking from the guys' perspective.

I think this is fear and inexperience seeping trough; try sitting next to him again and instead of waiting for him to talk to you, take the initiative again, perhaps ask for his help with an assignment.

Also, ask for his number *during* class, not after, not having an easy excuse (like going to the bathroom, a common one i use often) might push him over the edge.
Don't expect him to call, text him first (please, don't call him, just text, at first)

I go by what people actually do and he declined to give you his contact information, so I'd assume he isn't interested in being your friend at this time.

Should he change his mind, he has the option of approaching you. Be friendly, smile, but the ball is in his court. Let him come to you (should he choose to do so).

He rejected you, he is not interested.

Thank you everyone for your advice.

I am kind of iffy about being his friend, especially after that encounter. I'll see what happens next class. Until then I'll continue avoiding him.

@ sovek and izzeme Thanks for the advice!

@ MissKayteeN That is true. I don't think he really wants to be friends with anyone in this class.

If I like a girl, I would certainly grab any opportunity to get in touch with her.

If he's smart and interested then he would give you his number right away, if he doesn't then he's not interested.

If he's interested yet behaved in this way and didn't give you his number right away, then he's a hopeless idiot - too idiot to even like him in the first place.

Sounds like he's not interested, and if he is like the Face of Boo said....he is kind of a hopeless idiot. I mean if I had an encounter like that even if I did suspect they liked me some I would quit pursuing it as well...because even if it progressed into a relationship I'd be concerned the guy would act all cold and stand-off ish whenever any problems/issues arise or if he feels uncomfortable about something....So it would likely be very hard to work anything out with someone like that due to lack of any communication.

Also it makes me feel bad when people act that way towards me...so I know I'd get upset about that behavior which would just even further escalate it as I'd take it personally. If you're anything like me I think it is certainly best not to pursue things further with him. I mean if you're hurt by how he acted even before establishing any friendship or relationship then its probably bad news.

He's probably just really shy and doesn't like himself much (from how you're saying he acts, he doesn't seem too different from me in this way)

He maybe just feels more comfortable talking to his same-gender friend and can't understand why any girl would want to talk to him so he thinks you must have some other (not so nice) reason for it

Try talk to him when you're both alone, if he hasn't got anywhere else to be (he'd feel less shy then)