How an awkward, Aspie teen girl attracts a bae.

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CryingTears15
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17 Dec 2015, 4:38 pm

Hi, I am a teen girl. I am awkward and say some bad things, smile randomly, forget when people are there, and yet I am quite attractive. I also make myself up and dress nicely. And yet I do not have a bae! I have attractions to both men and women, but I don't consider myself bi and I will hold up on experimenting. All the girls I liked were straight!

The guys I've liked were straight too, but didn't like me. The guys I want would have happy, well-adjusted, sociable personalities. But how do I attract that type? Why would they like me? :cry:



Varelse
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17 Dec 2015, 5:50 pm

CryingTears15 wrote:
Hi, I am a teen girl. I am awkward and say some bad things, smile randomly, forget when people are there, and yet I am quite attractive. I also make myself up and dress nicely. And yet I do not have a bae! I have attractions to both men and women, but I don't consider myself bi and I will hold up on experimenting. All the girls I liked were straight!

The guys I've liked were straight too, but didn't like me. The guys I want would have happy, well-adjusted, sociable personalities. But how do I attract that type? Why would they like me? :cry:

If you are looking for something relatively uncommon, it helps to keep rolling the dice. Happy, well-adjusted, sociable personalities that aren't already hooked up are perhaps not so common among adolescents, as you all are still growing into your personalities, and learning social roles. Give yourself credit for being willing to put your own personality out there, warts and all, best foot forward, and keep trying.



kraftiekortie
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17 Dec 2015, 7:35 pm

What's a BAE?



CryingTears15
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17 Dec 2015, 7:59 pm

It's what us kids use to say romantic partner in a snappy, gender-neutral way. Boyfriend/girlfriend. Technically stands for Before Anyone Else, but hey, that doesn't have to be the case. It's just easier than saying "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" or "boyfriend or girlfriend".

:roll:



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17 Dec 2015, 8:39 pm

It's also Icelandic for 'poop'.

All I can say OP is be your BEST self, which means be the best person you can be and work on your flaws. Do your best to meet new people always and make new friends, and it'll naturally become easier to meet someone to connect with.

I've had two relationships so far. The first wasn't very good but that second's been great. Both were the result of putting myself out there.

First girlfriend hung out at the same group as me and we naturally connected, second girlfriend was the friend of a friend I asked to introduce me too.

There's all kinds of opportunity out there so long as other's can help give you access to it.



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17 Dec 2015, 10:44 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
What's a BAE?


It's 3 three things...
danish for poop
a lazy way of typing/saying baBe...omitting the second b
the most absurd trend ever started in trying to sound cool

please hurry and come up with a new trend so we can forget this one ever existed. :roll:


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ArtemisHolmes
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17 Dec 2015, 11:39 pm

As I almost grow out of my teens (turning 20 soon!), and as a guy who's pretty well-adjusted, sociable, and got a good head on my shoulders, my advice is just to keep trying! Attractiveness by far isn't the top quality I look for. Kindness/compassion, loyalty, and honesty are big to me, as well as self-growth. Bluntness is also good! My only concern in approaching is whether or not whoever I'm approaching is in a relationship or not. You don't have to wear a sign saying 'Not in a relationship', but keep in mind, we do exist!


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Varelse
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18 Dec 2015, 1:10 pm

ArtemisHolmes wrote:
My only concern in approaching is whether or not whoever I'm approaching is in a relationship or not. You don't have to wear a sign saying 'Not in a relationship', but keep in mind, we do exist!

This is an excellent point, especially if you are a visibly attractive person. People are more likely to assume you're "taken" under such circumstances, and you may not realize the role it plays in their willingness to approach you.



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18 Dec 2015, 1:48 pm

I really have no idea how old you are but just wait till you're out of high school, girls in their late teens/early 20s pretty much rule the dating scene with an iron fist.



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18 Dec 2015, 2:01 pm

The tricky part is they only rule it with an iron fist as far as guys they do not like are concerned.


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darkphantomx1
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18 Dec 2015, 2:57 pm

Trust me you'll find out soon enough. If you're attractive like you claim to be, guys will be FLOCKING when you come of age.

Just be careful though because there's a lot of creeps and weirdos out there and other guys who will try to take advantage of you and pretend they like you but they only wanna f**k and they act flirty to other grils. A lot of these so called bad boy players make good f**k buddies but terrible boyfriends. Just a heads up. Hey if sex is only what you want then this doesn't matter but be careful.

I'm saying this cuz a lot of aspie chicks get into abusive relationships because they aren't aware of this stuff and they dont know how to say no.



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18 Dec 2015, 4:42 pm

Find an awkward teen boy to date, that is what I did back in high-school. Of course at the time It turned out I wasn't ready for a relationship after all got to be too overwhelming and he got very attached very quick. I imagine it was very disappointing on his end when things didn't work out even though we did enjoy a lot of time together.

I don't know I think sometimes it doesn't hurt to just skip dating as a teen and wait till you're out of high school, at least that is my grim view of highschool relationships. Besides I think sometimes awkward people have a more defined identity after that period of time as well so easier to know what you actually want in a relationship. Not always the case but I find that to have been true in my experience.


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18 Dec 2015, 5:22 pm

CryingTears15 wrote:
Hi, I am a teen girl. I am awkward and say some bad things, smile randomly, forget when people are there, and yet I am quite attractive. I also make myself up and dress nicely. And yet I do not have a bae! I have attractions to both men and women, but I don't consider myself bi and I will hold up on experimenting. All the girls I liked were straight!

The guys I've liked were straight too, but didn't like me. The guys I want would have happy, well-adjusted, sociable personalities. But how do I attract that type? Why would they like me? :cry:


Somebody that is happy, well-adjusted, and has a socialable personality probably wants a 'bae' that is also happy, well-adjusted, and has a sociable personality. Is that you?



CryingTears15
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18 Dec 2015, 6:12 pm

Jacoby wrote:
CryingTears15 wrote:
Hi, I am a teen girl. I am awkward and say some bad things, smile randomly, forget when people are there, and yet I am quite attractive. I also make myself up and dress nicely. And yet I do not have a bae! I have attractions to both men and women, but I don't consider myself bi and I will hold up on experimenting. All the girls I liked were straight!

The guys I've liked were straight too, but didn't like me. The guys I want would have happy, well-adjusted, sociable personalities. But how do I attract that type? Why would they like me? :cry:


Somebody that is happy, well-adjusted, and has a socialable personality probably wants a 'bae' that is also happy, well-adjusted, and has a sociable personality. Is that you?


It does not come naturally, but I would like to. I am also prepared to care for someone who is emotionally pained if I have to. But I prefer generally cheerful personalities.

Knowing that I may slip into pathos, I wonder if I could have other qualities, other supports, to back up my dating profile. I don't want someone who is naturally awkward/mopey, that is awkward x2. But I understand that someone cheerful may not naturally gravitate towards me.



kraftiekortie
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18 Dec 2015, 6:13 pm

I have always been awkward; I am rarely mopey.



CryingTears15
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18 Dec 2015, 9:58 pm

True; I suppose I admire those who can easily socialize and smile... I am fine being introverted and looking up to the person for that, but I don't want them to feel as though they're my parent, not lover, socially. I want to be able to pull my weight socially and emotionally while making it clear to them that they are valuable for their skills yet.

I want to be an introverted girlfriend who appreciates her bae's well-adjustness, not a child who needs to be taken care of.

(And btw, I think "bae" is a good way of saying things that are longer otherwise. Furthermore, now I can just say "baes" as opposed to "boyfriends" or "girlfriends" or "boyfriend and girlfriend". And plenty of words began as slang once, I say this one serves a good purpose. :p)