Am I supposed to be attracted to people? :-/

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Starfoxx
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19 Dec 2015, 4:04 pm

Just seems it's normal to be attracted to ppl and want a boyfriend or girlfriend but I'm not attracted to anyone like that, I was thinking it's cos I'm not a teen anymore and don't care about that kinda thing now, but is that odd?



InsomniaGrl
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19 Dec 2015, 4:13 pm

Do you feel like there is anything missing in your life that would be filled by being with someone? If you don't want to, doesn't matter if most people do.


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Starfoxx
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19 Dec 2015, 4:17 pm

InsomniaGrl wrote:
Do you feel like there is anything missing in your life that would be filled by being with someone? If you don't want to, doesn't matter if most people do.

Not really. I feel fine with all I have now



Starfoxx
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19 Dec 2015, 4:20 pm

It would be cool to have a friend to go places with and hang out but that's all lol



Ishi2
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19 Dec 2015, 4:21 pm

It's not particularly abnormal. There could be some medical/hormonal reason for it though.


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BeaArthur
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19 Dec 2015, 4:39 pm

Starfoxx wrote:
Just seems it's normal to be attracted to ppl and want a boyfriend or girlfriend but I'm not attracted to anyone like that, I was thinking it's cos I'm not a teen anymore and don't care about that kinda thing now, but is that odd?

Did you care about that kinda thing then? And how old are you now?

If you formerly had attractions and now you don't, I'd kind of wonder what was up with that. Some psychiatric meds (notoriously, antidepressants) can really kill sexual desire. Unfortunately people don't tend to talk about it to their doctors, which they should because often another drug could be substituted.


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Starfoxx
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19 Dec 2015, 4:46 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
Starfoxx wrote:
Just seems it's normal to be attracted to ppl and want a boyfriend or girlfriend but I'm not attracted to anyone like that, I was thinking it's cos I'm not a teen anymore and don't care about that kinda thing now, but is that odd?

Did you care about that kinda thing then? And how old are you now?

If you formerly had attractions and now you don't, I'd kind of wonder what was up with that. Some psychiatric meds (notoriously, antidepressants) can really kill sexual desire. Unfortunately people don't tend to talk about it to their doctors, which they should because often another drug could be substituted.

Yes till I was about 16-17 cos it was like a new thing. Now I'm 23. Well I been there done that I suppose lol. I take no medications . I have no mental health issues either



Tom_1994
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19 Dec 2015, 4:54 pm

You may be Asexual, but you may also be suppressing feelings of attraction because you find it hard to be social. The Brain is a funny calculator - sometimes closes off ideas and emotions to prevent stress. Attraction, in my opinion, increases with age. You may have not discovered your sexual side, your inner libido. Can you recognise attractive features of the opposite and same sex? And is the attraction stronger or weaker for either of the sexes?



Last edited by Tom_1994 on 19 Dec 2015, 4:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Spiderpig
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19 Dec 2015, 4:55 pm

As a young adult, I went through a stage in which I wondered whether only children and teenagers can feel strong emotions or be truly motivated by something, as my ability for that seemed exhausted. I was wrong.


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Starfoxx
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19 Dec 2015, 4:58 pm

Tom_1994 wrote:
You may be Asexual, but you may also be suppressing feelings of attraction because you find it hard to be social. The Brain is a funny calculator - sometimes closes of ideas and emotions to prevent stress. Attraction, in my opinion, increases with age. You may have not discovered your sexual side, your inner libido. Can you recognise attractive features of the opposite and same sex? And is the attraction stronger or weaker for either of the sexes?


When I was younger I had crushes on guys and girls. I've had boyfriends before, ive just assumed im straight but I don't really want to sleep with anyone, guys or girls, though even if I really love them emotionally. Guys have been interested in me that way and I don't like it. Im not sure what sexuality if any I have...



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19 Dec 2015, 5:16 pm

If you feel content with where you are right now then enjoy it! I say this especially because you do not seem closed to the idea of feeling romantic feelings to a person some day; you just do not have that strong desire right now. Use this time to get to know yourself, hang out, explore hobbies and things like that. You mentioned that you don't think its a medical issue, maybe there is no one around you that sparks those feelings at the moment. I find the older I get it takes more to spark attraction for me, maybe because I have a longer criteria list. It might be the same for you since you've been in relationships before so you have a better idea of what you want.



Tom_1994
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19 Dec 2015, 6:01 pm

When I was younger I had crushes on guys and girls. I've had boyfriends before, ive just assumed im straight but I don't really want to sleep with anyone, guys or girls, though even if I really love them emotionally. Guys have been interested in me that way and I don't like it. Im not sure what sexuality if any I have...[/quote]

You had crushes when you were younger: That is a hormonal impulse, which is attraction, and is a natural thing. I wouldn’t assume that you are straight because you have had boyfriends, but I understand your thinking as you haven't gone into a relationship with a woman – sexuality is a complex thing. I believe that you are bi-curious and still discovering yourself and that layer of your personality. I believe, like many people on the autism spectrum, that you are capable of a sexual relationship with someone but you are unable to do this because of fear. I’m not saying that I believe you are scared of sex, I believe that you are worried how to commence and handle that situation. You make it quite clear you have the capacity to feel love and the great emotions of others. And some guys are just hunters of sex, and I understand why that would worry you even more about the idea of sexuality and sex. I believe that, you need someone who understands you emotionally and work with you in a relationship more on your terms – if you find a lovely woman or man that offers these needs and support, the emotional attraction will most likely lead to sexual attraction. Or, you may be Asexual and just want platonic-relationships.



Last edited by Tom_1994 on 19 Dec 2015, 6:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Starfoxx
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19 Dec 2015, 6:14 pm

Hmm I suppose I probably am asexual cos I was with a guy for a whole year and really loved him but still didn't want to go further. The guy I was with before that abused me that way though idk if it's because of him I don't like anyone, but if it's like a hormonal thing to like someone then it can't change?



kraftiekortie
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19 Dec 2015, 6:26 pm

If you don't feel anything, you don't feel anything. Maybe you're waiting for the right person.

It's not morally wrong to have no sexual feelings. It's morally wrong to harm people.



Starfoxx
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19 Dec 2015, 6:32 pm

I won't harm anyone -_-



kraftiekortie
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19 Dec 2015, 6:37 pm

Then life your life as you see fit. You don't need sex unless you desire it.