She deserves an Oscar

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Wow...

I was about to date a girl this weekend who sounded so interesting and trouble free, I've met her on a dating app and everything sounded so genuine about her: Her pics were so genuine, we talked cam to cam (no, nothing sexual happened you perverts), we talked voice, we texted, we did talked about many subjects, we talked about interests, we talked about food, we talked about current events... and she was like flirty....this lasted for a whole week every night and eventually we arranged for a meetup next Saturday.

Yesterday she sounded something bothering her, so I tried to know what's wrong and she was like "it's a personal problem".

Today I was like asking her if she feels any better, and she was like "Yeah, but my problem isn't solved" , I didn't ponder what it is and I was just like "ah...ok" - then she was like "Oh, didn't I tell you about it?" and I said no she didn't .... .and so she told me a sob story about how she lost money to some "people" and she doesn't know what to do.

I knew right away this is a sob story scam, a very known scamming strategy to squeeze money from men who get attached to her or too desperate for company.

I have encountered some of her ilk but all sounded so fake from the beginning like using over attractive pics, never accepting to talk via voice...but this one, this one is special, she sounded so natural, so genuine.....she's a great actress!!

Did you ever encounter Oscar nominees before?

The problem with her strategy is is too good.

A good scammer doesn't want to get caught so they don't wan to make the scam too good, becuase they want to target gullible people. They want smart people to ignore them. If they fall for something badly crafted, then they will believe anything. Also they are less likely to know what to do after, and will be ashamed.

The only reason why a con artist would go for the "long con" is if the reward was high enough, which isn't about targeting strangers. They will be looking for a specific mark. In such case they will target a personality trait like greed.

I think this is the first time I encounter the "long run" type of con artist - they usually reveal themselves after few lines of chat and they act over sexual from the beginning.

But this one invested days, and she was totally acting like a regular normal person, and she was getting little by little 'closer' to me, like how regular people develop bonds between them.

Yes but it didn't work out for her.

Did you give any indication that you would be a good mark? Such as having money or social connections?

She asked about my type of work, but luckily I didn't give any details like work address or company name...etc.

That could easily be retrieved but I wasn't suspecting her at all.

I think she is armature or trying to learn.

Probably working alone, or trying to join a group.

Hey The_Face_of_Boo.

If it's too good to be true... But seriously, when she told you the story, did it seem like she was just venting or did she specifically ask you for money? It's possible that she made a poor financial decision and was venting/seeking advice from you, but who knows.

Did she show you pictures of a sick child? One woman tried that one on me in the late 1980s. I recognized the picture from an issue of the National Geographic magazine that was published in the 1960s. I asked her the name and address of where I should bring the money, and showed up with two plainclothes cops. Even during the trial, she kept claiming that the boy in the picture was her son, and that he needed money for medical treatments.

I did the maths for her. The child in the picture was 6 years old. The picture was taken in the 1960s. She was 19 in the late 1980s. The child (if still alive) was at least 8 years older than she ...

It really sucks that people do things like that. They usually target vulnerable people, which makes it even worse. Lonely people, those with ASD, elderly people, desperate people; anyone who is going to have trouble seeing through the scam for whatever reason is more at risk.

So anyone who's trying online dating has to be suspicious of everyone, which probably makes it even harder to find someone.

I never bother with dating sites anyway. I don't have the interest nor the patience. I'm actually glad that you posted it because it's a warning for others. Sorry that it happened to you and I'm glad that you caught it before you got screwed (assuming this actually was a scam). I just generally don't trust anyone that I don't know. My trust is earned. It's a dangerous world out there. Sometimes it's hard to tell the good from the bad.

Beau, don't be naive - when someone you just met online tells you a sob story of a money problem = scam.
And I didn't even ask for the stroy.

It seems as the duck said, she's not a professional one but she was trying to play "poor damsel in distress" to exploit the "save the damsel in distress" instinct/culural thing in some man(or even men, who knows) she may find online. It's crysal clear that this is her main purpose of her dating quest.

Those scams are common on dating sites, but even in real life you may encounter some.

My coworker told me about his ex of 2 years of relationship and she was exactly like that.

She was her coworker in his former workplace, he didn't meet her in a dating site - and one day she "opened up" about a loan problem with the bank she claimed to have; he didn't comment about it first time but she kept brining it up and how it's affecting her mood and happiness, so he, as a boy in love, started to give her sums monthly.
She turned out she was cheating on him with their employer (who's married btw)- he faces his ex employer about it after finding out (he kept working as a freelancer with then after starting working with us, and he once found him holding her hand very suspiciously) and the latter admitted she was sleeping with him for 2 years and he was aware it was for money and promotions, the employer man apologized because he wasn't aware of her relationship with him.

She....also deserves an Oscar.

I've never encountered someone like this, because I don't do online dating, because I know online dating doesn't work. Not to mention, you could get in a situation where you meet a girl who says she's 18, then you drive over to meet her, and it turns out she's 14, and then you get arrested for traveling to meet a minor for sex, which is a very serious offense (even if you didn't discuss anything sexual during the chat, the cops will still assume you wanted to have sex with a minor, because in the past sexual predators have been really subtle about this sort of thing).

My advice to you is this: Find something you enjoy doing, and find an activity in your community that allows you to do it with other people. It could be a class, it could be a gym, whatever. Save up some money, go there every other day or every week, and meet people. Talk to people there. Make friends. And eventually, when you have started doing what you love and building a social network based on that activity, that common interest, you will start meeting women.

Hmm it worked for me...of course I used it to meet people IRL attempt getting to know them to then decide on moving into a relationship. I don't think it works if you try to actually get to the stage of girlfriend and boyfriend all online before meeting in person though.

Also I wont say your senerio with a younger person faking they are 18 is impossible...but I certainly haven't heard of that being a common occurrence people experience with online dating sites. Also though you wouldn't get arrested if you went to meet a girl and when you get there they turn out to be underage, if you then leave and cease contact. Also you can get in a situation where you think a girl is of age, but she's too young without online dating, I know someone that happened to...luckily he found in time before having sex with her so nothing came of it.

When I was underage, all the sexual predators I spoke with or met with knew exactly how old I was. When I was 14, I was supposed to meet up with a guy who was 24, but he got scared at the last minute because he was afraid it was a set-up and that the cops were going to get him. All I wanted was for him to buy me alcohol.

Scammers are all about unfortunately, there seems to be way more of them today then there ever has been. I don't give people I don't know money ever, it doesn't matter the sob story because 99.9% of time it's complete BS and they want to go buy drugs or are just making a living that way. I always like it when they say they need food to eat which is such a lie that it isn't even funny, I like actually giving these people food and seeing their noses wrinkle. I do feel bad for homeless people and I do give away all the free fast food coupons I get, I actually carry them around just for the situation when somebody is pressing me for money and the real down and out folks appreciate it but the junkies and scammers HATE it!

kind of off topic of dating and more about scammers in general but this is better to discuss than most of what gets discussed on L&D