Aspie boyfriend tends to let me initiate sex all the time

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I've been seeing this wonderful aspie guy for 5 months now. I am 31 and he is 25 and we have similar interests. The first time we met, he had a couple of glasses of wine and decided to ask me out. Things progressed from there and we soon slept with each other
I find that in general he is very masculine and amazing in bed but he has trouble initiating sex and physical affection, preferring I do that. Also, when we cuddle after sex, he likes to put his head on my chest and be held by me.
It is all nice but sometimes I feel like he just goes along with whatever I want.

How can it be that he is otherwise masculine (into war stuff and such) and still prefer to have the woman initiate sex all the time? Recently he told me that he's suffered from social anxiety and "a year ago I would not even be able to talk to a woman like you." He is also not comfortable talking about his romantic feelings with me.

He is shy. He has mentioned having social anxiety, so to me it seems as though he feels uncomfortable initiating. I don't think it's really a question of masculinity, but of being unsure of himself.

Also, another reason why he may have trouble initiating is that since he has Asperger's, he may have trouble knowing when you're in the mood and therefore doesn't know when to initiate.

In my opinion, he is doing it right lol.

I have learned that it's the least headache and the best way to avoid wrong ideas of you and to avoid triggering her insecurities (ie. you just wanting me for sex, you are pressuring me...etc) is to let the woman always initiate it.

I think others have a lot of useful responses for you. Is there also the possibility that he's asexual?

I'm asexual. Approximately 1% of the population are estimated to be. When I discovered that I'm probably autistic, I also came across a statistic that said that it's thought that closer to 10% of people with autism are also asexual, so the chance is perhaps a little higher. That may not be the case at all, but is something else to consider.

It could be a routine thing since you're the one always initiating. Or he might not know how, so it's easier if you do. It appears that he's shy and sensitive, so he could be afraid of rejection or uneasy about being blunt about it.

I'm sorry, but I will be painfully blunt here. Please go very slow in this relationship. Voice of experience.... I'm an NT and married to an Aspie - we just learned he has this. I am very unhappy and feel so trapped. I feel like a parent to him. I felt like a single parent when our kids were smaller because he had no idea how to hold, bath or even play with them. There is no passion or romance. I am lonely. He's basically emotionless in the bedroom - regardless what I say or do. I'm always the one to initiate sex and have been turned down so many times that it has had a severe effect on my self-esteem. We can go months and months without sex and he's completely fine with that and I feel like I will start climbing the walls because of wanting sex so much! He does not give me compliments. Any repairs around our home I have to take care of - he's clueless about anything practicile. I had to teach him how to dig a hole when planting a shrub.

Now, I must add this: He is very kind; the kindest man I have ever met and completely loyal. He is my best friend. He's also incredibly intelligent and has a white collar job in medicine. His co-workers love him. He's very skilled in handling hot situations in a very diplomatic manner.

I wish you the best. Pay attention to red flags now. I wish I had. {{{Hugs}}}

Thank you for all the replies.

He is not asexual in the least. In fact he is awesome in bed and loves sex. My intuition tells me that he is intimidated by me. I am older than him, just finished a PhD at Yale, and by all accounts I am also good-looking. He has said that I am his type physically.

However, what bothers me is that we are long distance for several months now and he only wants to talk like once a week. He hates texting and when it comes to talking, I take the initiative to set up a date. But.....when we do talk on Skype, he wants to talk for 2-3 hours and that is often too much for me. I would rather have a bit of daily contact while he can go days and weeks without it but wants "quality time" to talk for hours. I don't know how we are going to solve this problem. We have just recently started Skyping as I realized that it took him ages to reply to texts.

I get the feeling that he goes along with whatever I say most of the time. Even in bed, he told me "I'll do whatever you want me to do." He doesn't talk about his feelings (unless he is drunk) and when I talk about my feelings for him he will usually reply with something practical or logical. Does this not sound very aspie?

This is a syndrome called 'typical man'.

Ok, as Fnord often say:

Why don't you ask him?

Being 'into war and stuff' does not make a person masculine. My 9 year old cousin is into war, my cousin I would not describe as masculine.
How does him putting his head on your chest and wanting to be held feel?
Shy aspie men often don't assume the role of masculine expectation quite so emphatically.
If you want him to initiate more, tell him it excites you when he does, he will likely be wanting to please you.
He may also accociate showing sexual desire with rejection, hence the drinks before date, and saying how he can't believe he got such a hottie.
Also on some level if he acts like he doesn't need to inniaite sex, it's because he's had or gets so much sex he doesn't even need it. That's what he pretends, to himself or the world. Classic I don't need you if you don't need me response, nothing actually to do with you, but developed through past rejection or perceived rejection.
Also 'masculinity' may not sit tight with him.
Also masculinity is 95% a lie when it is applied to how men or women 'should' be behaving.

Three days ago I sent him a message asking to speak on Skype sometime this week. He replied last night, saying he is busy this week but would make time next week to talk. Yet he has no problem posting stuff on FB and going on forums that have to do with his special interests.
I'm starting to think that I am only an option to him (I doubt he has anyone else though). Time to cut ties maybe, but everytime I try to do this he comes back. I'm sick and tired of men doing this time and time again.