Why is ASD diagnosis detrimental to romantic success?

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I think this is an interesting question.

I'm writing an article about relationships, and when I analysed the data, it was pretty clear that people that were diagnosed with ASD had lower infatuation scores, were less likely to have a crush, were less often in relationships, and when they were in relationships, the durations were shorter. The comparison was to neurodiverse and neurotypical people that were not diagnosed. For the neurodiverse population, they had higher infatuation scores, a faster attachment process, and were just as likely to be in a relationship.

IOW, being diagnosed, but not being neurodiverse, is related to having trouble with relationships. The question is why, especially since ASD diagnosis doesn't have any criteria related to relationships, and it is highly unusual for the ASD group to be opposite to the ND group, with NTs in the middle.

I can only think of two possibilities:
1. Many people get diagnosed because they fail with relationships
2. The things diagnosed people are taught are highly detrimental to their success with relationships

So, which is it?

One of the main issues us autistic folks have is an inability to communicate the way that other people do. We miss social cues. We don't understand what other people expect of us and we often fall short of their expectations.

Maintaining a friendship us difficult enough for us let alone the nuances of a romantic relationship.

I think we may not RECOGNIZE when we have a crush. Or that that thing called a "crush" is that feeling we had when whatever. Or that that feeling we had when whatever is called a "crush". Others may simply be too preoccupied to have a crush, or realize they have one. That's the way it was with me. Nobody knew who I really was or really liked; I just had this fake person on the outside as a kid but underneath my REAL crushes and such were different, and I didn't recognize it of course.

My own issue, besides priortizing my alone time more than most, is that I just don't find conversations with most people, and women especially, particularly stimulating, and therefore not very rewarding. I also often run into the problem of people misinterpreting my facial expressions, which is really annoying.

I think for most aspie males though, the sad truth is, aspie males simply don't have the personality traits that most women find appealing.

What do you mean by "lower infatuation score"? Because from my own personal experience; I don't fall in love easily, but when it happens it's so intense as to be almost physically painful.

After the long lonely nightmare of adolescence and high school, I did okay romantically before I was diagnosed, in terms of the occasional successful hookup and short-term relationships, because I was in a workplace where I was able to meet new people frequently, who often began flirting with me, or who started out as anonymous voices on the phone.

Could never make a long-term relationship last, to save my life - although, I must note that I had a tendency to get involved with partners who had their own undiagnosed mental issues (and that's not said as a joke).

Since my diagnosis, it's been a long dry spell, but I don't blame the DX for that - I got diagnosed just as I was going through my third divorce, and retiring from a 30 year career, so I've been pretty much isolated in my home since then, due to the same social anxieties I've had all my life.

I don't think the actual diagnosis has anything to with it.

There's another possibility. Maybe some of the characteristics that lead to "relationship success" are the same ones that lead people to have many ND traits but remain undiagnosed.