It's a definition problem. The word means different things to different people.
I've seen that more than once, people who just are in a bad place and then get bullied relentlessly and torn to shreds for it by normal "good" people because they didn't know what using the word "incel" really implies to them.
When people talk crap about "incels", just assume they're referring to a strawman guilty of all this:
Quote:
Incels (a portmanteau of involuntary celibates) are members of an online subculture who define themselves as unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one, a state they describe as inceldom. Self-identified incels are mostly white, male, and heterosexual. Discussions in incel forums are often characterized by resentment, misanthropy, self-pity, self-loathing, misogyny, racism, a sense of entitlement to sex, and the endorsement of violence against sexually active people. The Southern Poverty Law Center described the subculture as "part of the online male supremacist ecosystem" that is included in their list of hate groups. People who have either self-identified as incels or who had mentioned incel-related names and writings in their private writings or Internet postings have committed at least four mass murders in North America, resulting in forty-five deaths. Incel communities have been criticized by the media and researchers for being misogynist, encouraging violence, as well as spreading extremist views and radicalizing their members.
Speaking from experience with other groups where that was blatantly false, I have to wonder how accurate the "mostly white, male and straight" is. It's pretty silly how that's always presented as such a damning accusation.