Forever being alone as a Aspie

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Seem like Aspies,especially Aspie men tend to stay alone forever(tho some get into relationships at some point).As a person in mid 30s,I had no luck at all getting a girl to date me.Now with that said,due to the coronavirus situation,finding a date is not my top priority,however I know once the Coronavirus situation is over,the idea of being alone forever will depress me once again.Seems like many Aspie males had atleast somewhat similar experience compared to mines when it comes to the lack of dates.My looks isn't the problem. My weight is around average(weigh around 195 lbs) and no one sees me as being fat.I will say I can improve my personality,tho I'm not sure to go about it without pretending a different person all together since after all Aspergers is apart of someone identity/personality. Seem like aspie males often are destined to stay alone forever unless they get real lucky,which luck usually are not on our side.Does any other aspie males believes they are destined to be alone forever? Do you expect things to improve in the future for aspie males dating wise or do you expect things remain the same/worse?

I am an Aspie female who has never been on a date in her life. It annoys me when people act like simply by being female, I can have my pick of guys falling all over me. True, males are the ones typically expected to initiate things, but men are only going to approach a woman if she seems at all desireable, which apparently I don't since no one who's seen me in person has so much as looked at me twice. My looks apparently aren't the problem, either, because when I share a picture of myself online, I get told I'm pretty. Maybe part of my problem is my youthful appearance, at age 27 I still get mistaken for a high school student, so maybe men think I'm too young. In any case, I do believe I will be alone forever - but I'm a nonromantic asexual, I realize I'm probably happier not having any kind of romantic relationship anyway.

It is so extremely rare to find a *heterosexual* aspie woman in your situation tho; like insanely rare: Out of all WP, during a whole decade, there’s only 1 case I am aware of.
You should be aware that people’s assumptions are often based on how common something is, not on rarity. Outliers will always exist.

While I agree that aspie men definitely seem to struggle with this more than aspie women (even counting for the skewed gender ratio on the spectrum), I don't think it's uncommon for aspie women to not do well with love and dating, but I don't think it tends to bother them as much as it does us aspie men

I'm an aspie heterosexual woman who no longer dates, and I was married for over 15 years. I have trouble connecting to people and my days of having one night stands are over. I always saw dating as a waste of time, but I was lucky to bump into the man I loved totally at random. Since then nobody has come along who can hold my interest long enough to connect.
I definitely still enjoy the company of men. But most aren't blunt enough so I rarely know where I stand, or don't have the enthusiasm about things that I am attracted to, or drink way too much. I have been single and live alone now for 15 years or so. I need a contrarian extrovert - nothing else sticks. Some days will suck but there will definitely be far more good days. If you're a decent guy and can draw me in, have opinions, be a little in your face I'm game. If not I forget you're there within a few days (or less). These people are rare, so I'll probably always be single.

I've come to terms with my singleness a long time ago. I hope it works out better for you!

I am sorry you are feeling sad about this and I know what it's like to feel lonely because I am single as I have also never had a chance to find a mate. However, I have learned a trick to combating loneliness is getting yourself some hobbies and getting busy with those. Also, get yourself plenty of exercise and just take care of yourself.

As for dating, there is a PhD named Dr. Wendler is also an aspie that has great tips on dating. You can also find other things on the Asperger Expert website. Also, you don't want to find any old girl and start dating her out of loneliness then not be compatible and that's not fun.

-Find yourself some youtube videos of men on the spectrum who have dated and listen to their tips.

Relationships are difficult so long as you expect them to be all about you.

The moment you let go of that, you'll be fine.

Ah, so I don't count because I'm not heterosexual and because I, as usual, don't fit the "norm." I see. Sorry, I missed that unstated stipulation. (Not meant to be near as sarcastic as it sounds, it really does seem to be one of those "social rules" I just don't pick up on.)

Of course you “count.”

Never think you don’t “count.”

You have been advised on this in another thread, which you seem to have abandoned.  Did you even read it?I met my wife when I was 36, in church, and on a Naval base.Getting acquainted over a two-way video conference-call is still an option.You can receive professional counselling for that; just don't expect their advice to be any more pleasant than what you have already been given.My roughest time was during high school.  Things got better in college, and really took off once I enlisted in the military.Looks are not everything.  Attitude and personality count for a lot.Dude, everybody puts on an act when they seek companionship.  You cannot "be yourself" and expect to have any success with romance.Good luck occurs when preparation meets opportunity.  Bad luck occurs when an opportunity presents itself and you are unprepared.Many aspie males and females feel that way.  So do neurotypicals.  It's a normal part of the human condition.Yes, but only on the condition that those aspie males put forth the effort to improves themselves.  As I said before, looks aren't everything; attitude and personality are also important.  Work on improving your self-confidence -- and no, it is not other people's fault that you lack confidence, nor is what they think important, either.  It's all up to YOU to improve your chances, and you will never accomplish that by complaining: (1) you cannot get a date, and (2) men have it worse / women have it better.

I'm no Don Juan by a long shot, but I've got a date this Friday. It's difficult and uncomfortable, but your chances will forever be zero if you don't put yourself out there.

Yeah there's clearly a dating problem/struggle when it comes to aspie males.The part of the reason why we struggle more compared to aspie women is because we come across as being socially awkward,which is a turnoff for women,while it seem like men don't mind it as much. Men are also expected to initiate conversations with women,which is usually hard for us to do.I want to know how to we initiate conversations with women without coming across as boring,weird or creepy?That has always been a problem for me and it's even the point where it seem women don't want to even converse with me anymore.Not that I initiate conversations that much nowadays,but times I did as of recently,it have always ended in rejection.

I hate to say this and it's probably bad advice but the only thing that ever helped me get over my issues and actually hook up with someone was drinking. Without it my head fantasizes about what ifs, and then I can't go through with anything! Except with my husband always the same scenario - a party, lock eyes at some point, have sex (def not at my house or let them know exactly where I live), practically live there for a few days to get it out of my system, go dry again). Embarrassing but there's my confession. I don't drink anymore and have never been able to date since I quit.
Coffee or to the gym as friends, talk to men yes. I never let it go anywhere! I think if I meet the right guy again I'll just jump in and marry him if that's what he wants - just so he can't get away haha. My husband made me feel so comfortable and engaged that I passed for a loner NT - he picked up the slack on things I couldn't do and allowed me my downtime to reset. I'll wait rather than settle for someone who will always have me on edge.

What do yall think about Adam Wonders(from Youtube)? He's also a aspie who talk about different things concerning Asperger's Sydrome,including datiing/relationships.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixgV5-OBQXg

Well, that's not true.

I do hate these throw away lines.

I am a very caring person and I look out for others, but doesn't matter what I do for guys. They don't magically fall for me.

I'll give an example of how I have a nice little relationship with someone. Take my brother-in-law's best friend for example. I do look out for him. Make sure he's ok. Invite him places. I don't expect anything back from him. He's just part of our lives and I make him a part of things because he's one of us. And my friend's brother too. He's a great guy. We talk about music mostly. I've invited him along to things we do. We're on good terms. We have not fallen for each other either.

I've known quite a lot of men actually, I've just treated them as humans and not expected anything. No one fell for me. We had no sparks.

Mysteriously he hasn't fallen for the girl that looks out for him

It's not a magic panacea to just be caring and someone will fall for you.

Ah, well, at least this made me write about some of the nice people I know.

How long before this thread gets locked? I give it an hour.

I like this guy. Why can't I meet someone like this??

My ideal is to find a guy who doesn't like football.