The ideology of "50/50" in relationships.

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I've seen people post on personals, forums, blogs, etc about wanting a 50/50 relationship. Every time I see that a red flag just goes off in my head that tells me that the person is going to be hard to compromise with.

From what I heard, read, and what people told me, it takes YEARS to reach 50/50 and some couples(even in marriage) never reach that at all in their life time! Humans are imperfect by nature so I just can't see a totally equal relationship a real thing and also what one person sees as equal another my not, heck even the person that wants it might think it's not 50/50 one day to the next!

Can someone explain the meaning of "50/50" in relationships? Is 50/50 actually a thing or is it another idea that's pretty much a myth and that's it. Could this new idea be made from the idea of "settling"(another belief I don't like but that's for another day) and that you shouldn't?

50/50 is not a marriage though because while it seems ideal, a marriage is not about that. The stronger puts in a little more to cover the weaker ones weaknesses in whatever subject it is... One maybe stronger in one area and weaker in another area etc. That way both work as a team as a single unit to get the job done. It is rarely ever 50/50, as some things are 100/0 and others are 0/100.

Saying that one wants a 50/50 relationship is setting oneself up for disaster because it assumes that men and women are the same and they are certainly not. To say they are the same is like saying introverts and extroverts are the same or saying ND and NT are the same and are capeable of doing the same things. No. Each individual is different so it is not possible to have a 50/50.

The people who say they want it to be 50/50 usually do not have much experience in life.

Marriage is a totally different concept...

My girlfriend's psychiatrist 1ce said that he tells his patients that the man should get his way 49% of the time & the women gets her way 51%. I might have an idea of what he meant but not sure. I like what MG said about 50/50. When I used dating sites I skipped over the women who mentioned the 50/50 thing. I have a lot of various problems & issues & I can NOT measure up to stereotypical non disabled NTs. I try to compensate for my issues & problems in various ways & I'm a lot more accepting of others who also have problems & issues. Like MG mentioned 50/50 to me makes me think that both people within a relationship are completely equal. Whereas my ideal relationship is one where you can both be very different but also equal. You can both have different strengths, weaknesses, needs but neither one of you is inherently better. You both love each other & you both try to help & support each other as best you can.

You mentioned AquaineBay that what one person sees as equal another may not & unfortunately that can be common within Aspie/NT relationships or most any relationship where one person has a disability/issue/unique difference that the other does not. Sometimes both people figuratively bend over backwards for each other & do everything they can for the other & they both end up feeling like they are putting in all the work & their partner isn't really trying. Relationships can be very tricky.

The "Tandem" mentality (Anyone who has been on a decent tandem will find one feels like the other person is doing all the work so one puts in more effort, and before one knows it one is overtaking cars and touching 40!
The art of riding a tandem is to ease off the strain a little so both riders get to take advantage of the benefits of riding such a machine).

That's very much my marriage, lol
Seriously, if you really care for each other and volunteer to do things, no one has to count instances of "mine" and "yours" - almost everything is "ours".

Having a 50/50 relationship means that two people simply MUST compromise on EVERYTHING, with neither person having his or her own way.  This leads to having two people who are never fully happy in their relationship.

It can also mean that the person demanding the 50/50 relationship is also setting up him- or her-self as THE authority on what "50/50" really means, much to the emotional detriment of the other person.

Sometimes, 90/10 is necessary, and sometimes 10/90 is necessary.

I once heard it said, "most people think a good relationship is 50/50, but the best relationships are 100/100."

I think what they meant was that neither partner "half asses it" but rather both partners give it their best.

An ideal 50/50 relationship:

50% of the time I'm at her house, and 50% of the time she is at mine.

I love it, MG!

From the replies I see that 50/50 is almost like a fairytale(but worst in a way cause even in fairytales all things aren't equal).

So where did this idea even come from anyway? I can't think of a reason why someone would think this is possible cause when I think about it, it gives me the implication that I would have to be at my best all the time and that just sounds super exhausting!

It just means compromising; I think you’re taking it too literally.

I have never been married but nearly was once.
But I do know a bit about riding tandems.

Now you get why I say a 50/50 relationship won't last long. It is not sustainable.

I think a good relationship should be dynamic and the activities, by each partner, should be interchangeable, when required.
I draw a line at the birthing process, though.

It doesn't mean literally 50/50. It means that both people in the relationship put forth effort. For instance, one person shouldn't be doing all the housework if they both work equal hours per week. Or if someone is sick, the other person picks up their slack temporarily. Both partners are equally responsible for the relationship, rather than one person doing more than the other. This also applies to emotional aspects of the relationship. Both people should be making an effort to be interested in each others' lives, thinking of the other person, initiating sex/dates/hobbies.

You'd be surprised how many people don't actually do this and expect their partner to do more than their fair share and take them for granted.