Ignore modern dating advice?

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Should I ignore modern dating advice? For instance this Alpha/Beta “nice” guy or Friends Zone stuff people insist that’s real. I just don’t know wether or not to trust dating advice nowadays.

None of these things are real.

I don't even really think any of that is advice.

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A lot of dating advice is contradictory.

On one hand, you've got people who tell you to be friends with a girl first. And on the other side of the spectrum, you've got people who will tell you that you should state your interest in a girl quickly and waiting too long to ask her out means you're likely getting friendzoned.

Some people will tell you to be proactive in your pursuit of your love. Other people will tell you not look for love and that "you'll find someone when you're not looking". Both of these are very contradictory of one another.


So what is it? Which advice is right and wrong? Well this is what I think...


The reason why a lot of dating advice is contradictory is because people tend to give advice based on what has worked for them, and not necessarily for other people. If a 21 year old hot sorority girl tells you "you'll find someone when you're not looking", the reason why she's giving you this advice is because it worked for her.


Another reason why dating advice is contradictory is because there are multiple ways to be successful in dating and find a girlfriend, not just one way. The truth is that you can be friends with a girl first, ask a girl out rather quickly, meet a girl in a bar, meet a girl at work, meet a girl online, etc... You can find a girl where looks don't matter at all, and you can find a girl where looks matter a lot. You can find a girl by being proactive and you can find a girl when you're not looking.

The point is that there isn't only one way to find a girlfriend, there are multiple ways. Find which style works best for you.

I don't believe in that Alpha Beta Gamma Delta BS!

It's garbage. Ignore that crap.

I find all of that s**t insane.

Well the whole "alpha/beta" dichotomy is based on ideas of wolf behavior that were later debunked by the researcher who coined the terms. Human behavior and social relationships are way too complicated for someone to universally be "alpha" or "beta." Just like there are all sorts of men, there are all sorts of women and they aren't all attracted to the conventional "alpha male." As for "the friendzone," well, I believed in it growing up but it was nonsense. I never flirted or asked a girl out, so obviously girls viewed me as a friend and didn't view me romantically. It wasn't malevolent women forcing me into the friendzone. And there's nothing wrong with just being friends anyway, because you gain a friend.

I'm no expert, I mean, I've never had a romantic relationship myself, but the manosphere types are pretty clearly just misogynists.

One piece of advice I've heard a lot is "just be yourself". This seems like advice that would work well for most NTs, as being themselves typically involves going out to social events and mingling. But for me, "being myself" usually means sitting at home reading. Going out to social events is usually an uncomfortable chore that I have to force myself to do, and when I do I'm always uncomfortable.

I also hear a lot of advice, usually from men, that seems to imply that women lack agency and simply respond favorably to any man who knows the right buttons to push. I find it rather distasteful.