I'm running out of time

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I keep getting told that I'm too needy, and that I won't be able to have a successful relationship because I'm not emotionally ready or something like that. And I get it.

But here's the problem: I'm already 39. I'm going to be 40 in less than 1 year from now. That means that I'm rapidly running out of time. Very soon I'm going to be too old to date anyone who isn't already a grandma. i can't afford to patiently wait for everything to be right. Not any more.

There are plenty of people your own age who aren't grandparents yet. Unless you have some phobia dating someone your own age (or near it) you have plenty of time to work on your issues and start dating. You also don't necessarily need to do anything before you start dating. There are plenty of people out there with issues that are greater than your own, and you have to give them credit for trying even if they haven't found someone.

I wouldn't call it a phobia. But I never got to date young women when I was younger, and now I feel like I missed out on that forever and I hate that. I noticed that every woman I've felt attracted to in the past 5 years or so has been at least 10 years younger than me. I was 18 when my mother was my age, and the idea of going from never having any children to getting involved with the parent of a legal adult really weirds me out.

That's not the point. I like kids. I want to have a family where I can watch my children grow. I don't mind investing.

You’d be surprised how many gray-haired men are pushing strollers in NYC…..

Those are their grandchildren.

When I was single & complaining about it, I was often told that I needed to work on myself before I could handle a relationship. The thing is that I had been working on myself but I was mostly just running in place & getting nowhere. Also the people who kept telling me to work on myself were telling me things that I needed to accomplish without telling me any steps on how to make those things happen other than things I had already tried or were completely unrealistic for me, like telling me that I needed to get my drivers license after mentioning that I'm extremely nearsighted even with glasses

I had NO desire at all to be in a relationship with a mom or a woman who was older than me. It is not uncommon for Aspie guys in relationships with NT women for the NT women to feel like they are forced to be moms or caretakers to their Aspie & resentment quickly starts festering. I also NEVER had a good relationship with my mom & the last thing I would want is for my romantic partner to treat me like I'm her failure of a son. I also really did NOT think I would have a chance with someone who had their sh!t together in life. Most people around my age tended to look down on me for being lazy even though I was trying my best & had no clue how to do anymore.

What eventually worked for me was getting in a romantic relationship with a woman who also has various issues & disabilities. She's aLOT more understanding & accepting than most women would be. Things are very far from perfect & life can be a major struggle sometimes but I am a better person with her in my life & I hope that she's better with me as well, I try my best. Both of us know we would have problems no matter who we would get in a relationship with so we are motivated to try & make things work. We also both really love each other & are there for each other. Also some things make us a very good match like we are both kinda clingy, needy, dependent, & very affectionate within romantic relationships. I think people like us are best suited for relationships with others who are also needy instead of very independent people. I'd much rather be with someone around my level than be with someone who is very opposite of me. The latter can cause lots of conflicts.

No. Many times it’s their kids they are pushing in the stroller. I know…..because I’ve spoken to them.

I’m 60, and have no kid, and I know I can still raise a kid, even at my age. I’m physically capable.

I ran 5 miles today, and walked fast another 4 miles.

I gave up on finding a gal about age 40.

By my estimation guys have biological clocks, too. No man should have a child after they are 40 because (do the math) no 60-year old man should have to live with a teenager. And, these days the environmental activists say it's wrong to have children because they would have to live through environmental catastrophe. Even without that consideration, just because Society expects you to have children (with the personal and financial disruption that comes with them) doesn't make it compulsory. (Ask George Washington's kids.)

When I met my future bride we were both 42. I was not looking for romance, just for friendly conversation. Our conversation was wonderful. I left thinking we had "chemistry" but that...for several reasons...I would never see her again; I learned later that she really like our conversation, too, and was disappointed I didn't ask for her phone number (hey, I'm an Aspie--I admit don't understand social norms!).

Key words above "future bride"! And no kids, which probably helped me get to Double Retired sooner.