Young adults: is love getting less enchanting?

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Romance used to be my ultimate dream, long before I was a teenager. But, I'm now 28, and my perspective on romantic love has very slowly but steadily changed, from it seeming like a miracle, to seeming, well, rather more mechanistic, and dull. I mean, there's this whole "hidden plot" behind love now, whereas, in your teenage thinking, it used to be all about the other person, and how great you think they are. Now, in adulthood, it's about finances, the decision of having or not having kids, etc. The end of all romantic love seems to be stale domesticity. I'm not so much saying this is a surprise, as saying it has really decreased how awesome I used to think love is.

The whole "politics" of love is different for people in their teens, 20's, 30's, 40's, etc. Each decade has a different theme to it. And that is just the kind of thing that would disorient me over the years. I mean, when a girl smiles at me in that special way, all I see now are the logistics of why she's smiling. The whole backstory of how her instincts are seeking to connect with my instincts, and propogate the species, etc.

So, romance is nothing but a machine to me. I have nothing against machines -- I've built plenty of physical machines in my time -- but p.r. machines are always disappointing to discover. She's not smiling because she loves you, she's smiling because she needs your semen, money, and protection.

Opinions?

I think romance only means anything if it's with the right person.

Tim

I'm not young, but I'll tell you,
it got MORE enchanting, and continues
to do so. Ah, there's pain. But that's
part of the beauty.

I think there is some truth in what you are saying, though I think that once the wheels start turning and you are with someone, that you forget some of the over analytical single person crap. A lot of people are capable of making poor decisions over and over again due to being at the mercy of their emotions. In their cases, I think they would be saying all sorts of stuff while single and then do the opposite when it comes to the real deal. I also think that this is not common among ASDs. Yay us!

Anyways, yes my growth through knowledge has mechanised certain aspects of relationships in my eyes but I have also experienced growth in other emotional areas as a result. Therefore I think the scales have teetered in a different direction though ultimately for the better. Not the worse.

When I look at most women in the street these days, I just know intrinsically, that I would not get far with them and vice versa. I feel very at peace with this fact and I am thankful for this understanding because otherwise I would have done something stupid and found myself in an unhealthy relationship at this very day.

Romance has seem to have lost its edge to me, too, mostly because I've been rejected so many times. I’ve gotten kind of used to being alone, too. It used to really bother me when I was a teenager, but not so much anymore at 21, almost 22.

My mom keeps telling me that a nice girl is just waiting around the corner for me, but when I take a look around me and see that the only type of guys that are getting dates are as*holes, I keep getting more and more cynical about life and women. I can try and be like them instead of my nice and honest self, but it just comes out awkward, so the best chance I have is to just be myself, but that’s never gotten me anywhere either. Even if I did get with someone, would she stick with me even when the @#%& hits the fan? Somehow I don’t think so.

Few couples are together for no other reason than they care for one another. For the most part, it’s just like you said; a system for child-bearing, protection, and financial security.

perfect thread ,

it reflects exactly why i don't believe in love .

What used to be known as love has been degraded to a bunch of small-minded 15 year olds having clumsy sex and posting about it on myspace. Whenever I see guys under the age of 18 state that they are in love, I promptly knee them in the stomach and slap them across the face.*

*(Okay it's only actually happened once but there have been tons of other time when I'd have like to. Not that I'm a violent person or anything, I just believe that those who act like animals should be treated as such.)

To me, most love is too temporary and transient to be real. Most of it is based on need, and often people confuse need and loneliness for love, myself included.
Unconditional love is the only love worth having or giving, in my opinion.

true words, graelwyn. truly worthy of an elf.

the more my vision of unconditional love contrasts with the secular love that is practised out there, the more fascinating and enchanting romance becomes to me. the totality of it... how could that not be an enchanting idea? i dont see myself selling out to its secular counterpart.

I agree with Graelwyn

This guy over-reacted, but at least he gets the basic idea:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_sdLV3l69o[/youtube]

I'm 19 but I have no idea what you're all talking about.
And I've only loved one person 'romantically' so I dunno anyway.

I wouldn't know...

no girl has ever loved me.