How does a woman flirt?

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I am trying to write a novella, and here is the scenario:

A woman likes a man. He lives with his mother, who is extremely possessive. The three of them are in his mother's house. How does she go about flirting with him, while being very discreet, so that his mother doesn't throw her out?

Or, just in general, how does a woman flirt with a man? Maybe I'll be able to figure out how to work with the constraints.

Flirting can vary drastically from woman to woman. However, I will say that banter is pretty common in my experience, not that friends don’t joke around, too. Sometimes women smile more than they normally would. This stuff isn’t necessarily intentional but more about being happy around/enjoying the company of someone they like.

Interesting

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... techniques

A fairly detailed paper containing many descriptions

https://www.researchgate.net/publicatio ... nsequences

I’m not sure how useful information gleaned from a study performed by two observers 40 years ago would be for a novella for modern readers. Society has changed and the way men and women interact with each other now isn’t the same as it was then, and that’s going with the assumption that the observers were correctly observing and interpreting behavior as well as the motivations for it which might not have been the case.

Well, I'm old, so it is good enough for me. Unless there is something better or more recent. I'm just writing fiction, anyway. I know that the younger folks have different sets of concerns. Maybe they still flirt the same way. Or, maybe they don't flirt at all any more. They just make appointments for sex on their cell phones.

How does this look so far?

To be perfectly honest and since you asked, the last paragraph is a bit too much. Rather than the sexualized body language right off the bat, which wouldn’t happen in that way and in this context, it might be a good idea for them to just talk to each other. Mild behavior like smiling and eye contact is fine, too. Otherwise, some readers might find it off-putting, especially considering the fact that she’s cleaning as well. It could seem more like some guy’s fantasy than what a real woman would do or be into resding.

I dunno mate
It happens naturally for me

Ooh, this a fun scenario actually because you have to deal with the added layer of trying to not let the situation slip to the possessive mother.

...How do you want to play this, OP? Are we going for a comedic undertone or are playing it quite straight?

Am I correct in assuming that the mother is fairly rich? We have an employed cleaner in this situation, so I'm picturing a somewhat old building that's quite big and requires some maintenance. Or maybe it's quite modern and she's busy or struggling to keep on top of things for other reasons (disability, mental health and so on).

I'm wondering is she around a lot usually in the son's life or is she possessive and controlling from a distance? Also, how clued in is the mother, exactly? Does she suspect the woman at all or is she none the wiser? What does the mother know about the woman? What does she think the situation is between her son and the woman? Are they co-workers? Did the son save this woman's life? Also, is there an element of truth to what the son has told his mother about how they know each other or is it completely false? For example, maybe he's made up a story of heroically saving this woman when in reality they met at a bar that his mother would definitely not approve of so he's made up a cover story.

Why is the mother so possessive? Did something happen in the past that makes her overly concerned? Maybe the mother still thinks of the son as her little boy and she babies him.

What does the woman know of the mother? Has the son talked about his mother to this woman before? Does the woman know about the possessiveness? Is she going to play things safe or is she going to push the boundaries because she wants him to take a stand? Are there any reasons why the mother might not approve of her in particular? Does the mother not want the son to date under any circumstances or does she have an 'ideal woman' in mind that this woman does not fit?

You could have some subtle digs and coded questions. Double meanings. I think it's difficult for me to answer because there's a lot of unknown factors and a lot of different ways you could have things play out.

I think that, perhaps, you could use the physical space a bit more. Have they made room at the table or is the mother being deliberately awkward and uninviting? Is there any hidden hostility?

More comic than not. The novella is called "Liberal Tears"--basically about a poor man who lives with his mother and who is a Trumpist. Part of the story involves him impregnating a Haitian refugee (the housekeeper).



She is a senior citizen, and housekeeping services are provided by the Senior Center.



The son doesn't work, and stays at home all day, on radical internet message boards.



Just her psychological makeup.



This is the beginning of Chapter 10. In an earlier chapter, I had the mother fire the housekeeper because she had been getting too familiar with her son. But, the son has become a contributor to Fox News, and persuaded his mother to hire her back, so that the house doesn't look too messy on the zoom calls.



Any examples?



The mother is sitting on the couch watching Fox News. There will be coverage of an anti-woke-pretzel riot, which the son had a hand in inciting. The housekeeper is only there for a few hours.

Here is something more recent

{PUA site redacted}



Some of it is the same as a generation previous. Her pupils widen? That happens when it gets dark. I never heard of it as a response to sexual arousal.

Aside from the issue that the site is titled “French Pickup Artist” which raises serious red flags to me, none of the info cited is based on research. No citations are provided. I’m not necessarily disagreeing with all the points being made although some of them are absurd and unlikely in the extreme. My overall point is that you might want to be careful about not making it seem like some male fantasy. The setting of your story isn’t some club with characters who are looking for a one night stand. Women don’t play with a phallic object to flirt with someone they just met, and they don’t lick their lips to flirt outside of very specific situations (maybe) that have nothing to do with your story.

Here is another site

{PUA site redacted}

They seem to have human attractiveness down to a science. Some of it is the same as mentioned in the 1980s scientific article (the hair flick, the eye-brow flash, moistening the lips). They also have a lot of supporting videos from movies.

I wonder what is sexy about showing the internal side of the wrist?

Anyway, I'm going for an overall tone of sarcasm. I finished the last chapter with the male character masturbating while fantasizing about the female character. Which is probably something that most young men probably do (or did, before the advent of internet pornography).

Also, I'm writing this as part of a community college creative writing class. In an earlier chapter, I had the man touch the woman's breast. My classmates (of conventional college age) were concerned as to whether this was consensual (a big concern for the younger generation). I am now establishing some sexual interest between the two characters.

I was under the impression that Ronald and Marie had just met. How long have they known each other?

They don’t have flirting down to a science, especially not when context is removed. There’s a lot of nuance depending on the situation. Behavior in one situation can be flirtatious while in another it’s inappropriate. Women typically engage in much more subtle behavior towards someone they’re interested in romantically, especially at first. In addition to taking a bit of time to feel comfortable with someone they’re developing feelings for, overtly sexual behavior could lead a man to misinterpret intentions (e.g. make him think the woman is just interested in a sexual relationship).

Consent is a big concern for a lot of people. I’m not sure if establishing sexual interest between the characters would fix potential consent issues that happened previously. Did you rework that scene?

How did your classmates feel about the fantasizing/masturbation bit?

Some weeks or months earlier.



I think that the neurotypicals have a big advantage over us in being able to understand and interpret nonverbal cues. Some of the PUA stuff might be helpful to some of us, in spelling things out.



No. I was thinking about leaving it as is, so that the reader can stew over it for a while. I'm bringing the female character back in now (the tenth chapter).



It is spring break. I don't know yet. When I first wrote the proposal, and I said that I was going to have to figure out how to write sexy stuff, some of them said that I shouldn't. Possibly a reflection of the younger generation's post-sexual-revolution idealism. There are some internet articles on how to write sex scenes, and some authors do include sex in their novels.

I started the story with the lead character posting antisemitic garbage on internet message boards. Then his mother comes in, and accuses him of masturbating. I'm already in the gutter, as far as it goes.