How should I act in front of my crush who has AS?

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Really wondering how to act when I see him. He agreed to go out with me in the next few weeks (just as friends of course!) How can I make him feel comfortable and still let him know I continue to like him? He had a major panic spell when I told him I liked him the first time.

Just be yourself and don't play the games. The games stress us out, because we have no idea how to take them. Be direct and to the point, because we do not get "hints". Maybe you can tell him you like him, but you're willing to just be friends if that's what he prefers. And don't keep bringing it up either, just drop the subject and go on with your activity or whatever you plan to do. Then he will know how you feel, and you won't be putting any pressure on him.

There's a good chance he likes you back, but needs time to think about it.
That was always my natural reaction when somebody siad they liked me, panic.

I think he must like me, because he keeps talking to me. I wasn't use to people in my life calling themselves "emotional shipwrecks" and telling me that they were not able to do relationships correctly. I don't think he's ever met anyone like me either. I try to always be nice and honest with him. Do you ever let your guard down with people? Does it take people with AS longer to trust others?

give him 'some' time. that 'some' may be longer than the usual day, days, or weeks. don't be turned off if he pulls away from your touch. he probably doesn't take hints very well. just be honest. oh and....ask him if he writes or has written, and share something you've written with him.

Communicate with words instead of body language, hints or facial expressions.

Does it take a long time for someone with aspergers to initiate a relationship? Does the woman always have to make the first moves? The person I like is extremely shy too.

Avoid uncomfortable silences.

Be nice to him, and act naturally, regardless of what activity you two are taking part in. When it looks like you're both feeling comfortable, tell him you like spending time with him. However, if you like him only as a friend, be very clear about it, so you don't give him any wrong ideas. Aspie guys sometimes tend to develop a crush on the first girl who shows romantic interest in them, so be very clear with your intentions. Don't even joke about a possible relationship, unless there's real intention on your part for it to happen in the near future.

Not necessarily... the aspie involved CAN make the first move, but he/she usually has to be very comfortable (and making the first move usually is uncomfortable by nature...)

Part of this stems from the uncertainty of acceptance/rejection of said moves... if an aspie were to know for a complete fact that any moves he/she were to make would be accepted, then said person would be more likely to make moves. Saying something like "If you want to ask me out, it's okay..." helps an aspie to more comfortably handle the situation. Okay, so that was more like taking a half-step first, but it will help the aspie in any future encounters (usually, once experience is acquired, an aspie is more comfortable in a given situation)...

Yes - avoid the subtleties - don't do what the girl I tried to get with did - don't play the games... don't give little hints... be open and straightforward... but yes - like zghost says, don't keep going on about something in that way - it may feel patronizing and/or pressuring for aspies.

Even for aspies who are aware of what the games are, or the hints, it's still not a healthy thing for aspies - it's confusing and can be frustrating and scary.

I hope this helps... if not, just take the advice of someone else on the thread lol.

but how will I know if he actually likes me? He is one of the shyest men I have ever met.

Usually, the shyest aspie is the one that is most uncomfortable in a given situation... make him comfortable and he may open up to you (probably in a very sudden manner, going from completely reserved to can't get his hands off you in about 3 seconds... just be ready for that...)

If that doesn't happen, ask him directly and up front whether he likes you or not, and let him know that you won't be bothered by his answer, no matter what that answer may be. Unless he's one of those aspies that has learned NT mannerisms such as white lying (and judging by your description of him, he probably hasn't), he should give you an honest answer that you can take as gospel.

Finally, if he stays around you for some time, i would be about 99% sure that he likes you in some fashion (whether as friends or as lovers is uncertain though...), as aspies don't tend to voluntarily stay around people unless they like said people and are comfortable being around them...

I'm certain that he has never lied to me. Sometimes the way he feels about things change from day to day though. I know I get a little nervous when I am around him too. It's a little like having butterflies in the stomach.

I know what you mean - I'm in a mirror situation. I got to know an AS woman at our peer group. We have sent private messages to each other and it seemed that there was mutual interest. Yesterday after the meeting, our bunch went to a pub to play some games (Trivial Pursuit and cards).
She looked absolutely stunning to me, and somehow I get very timid with beautiful women. I told her something to that effect. It seems that she has a low self esteem, and probably she felt that I was joking. She told me to shut up.
There didn't seem to be any hard feelings, but now I can't reach her. Perhaps she's busy elsewhere (she's a divorced mother) but anyway the situation is completely unresolved. Now I know that I'm in love with her (those butterflies, see) and I feel lousy. I'm sure that I've botched - AGAIN.
(a little background: I've had two - obviously failed - relationships, but they became as friendship, not love affair)

So, take my advice with a grain of salt, but I guess you should build the friendly atmosphere, as others have said here. Meet as often as you can, talk about interesting things and do something funny or even romantic, if he seems to like it. Now I'm not talking about cuddling (later!) but moonlight and such.
[um, sorry if I wasted too much space with my ranting]

You didn't . Thanks for the advice. I hope you will be able to work it out with the woman you like. I too have butterflies.

Be yourself and whatever you do, don't seduce him.
Be very straightforward with him and if he doesn't want to talk, just walk away.