Friend zone.. it is one-sided?

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This is a quote from a popular men's magazine concerning the difficulties men face if they've been thrown into what's known as the "friend zone". I'm hoping you're all familiar with that term and what it entails.

"...It’s infinitely easier for women to place men into the category of “friends” rather than admit them as lovers.

In fact, for a woman, a male friend is the best of both worlds: She can reap all the benefits of having a man around (strength, decision-making, solid advice, logic, common sense, and so on) without the hormone-based entanglements that sex brings to the table.

But men are different. Since we aren’t saddled with psychologically crippling emotions, we aren’t burdened with the senselessness of separating friendship from sex. In fact, for us, it’s just the opposite..."

Is it me being overly-systematic with regards to the fairer sex, or does this basically sum up how us blokes in the friend zone feel ie. used??

I just can't help but feel that what this article is saying and the way I'm treated by the girls I'm friends with states those of us in the friend zone are merely being used and reaping none of the rewards that, putting it bluntly, the a**holes they date, are. Putting up with listening to them go on about how amazing these guys are whilst we're the ones who buy them drinks and deal with the emotional fallout that these alpha males create.

Perhaps I should feel blessed that I've not gone too long without sex or female attention and that if I have, it's usually been because I want it that way. Perhaps I shouldn't feel like being thrown into the friend zone is a slight against me as a man and my looks, personality etc.

And maybe, just maybe, by me asking this question, I've already demonstrated this is all beyond reason and logic, that the problem lies within my view of women and what they're here for ?

Reasonable question to ask or am I just a chauvinist pig?

I dont think friendship should be viewed as not giving any benefits and if you dont value someone enough to value their friendship alone then you probably shouldnt have a relationship with them. I expect most women would feel used if a guy thought the only "benefit" he got from her was sex.

maybe guys stay in the friend zone when their attitude does not warrent sexual attention ie, they are a bit of a woman hater and they only want to "use" the woman for sex?

I think women also value sex, so if she doesnt have sex with you its because she doesnt want to and if she wants you as a friend then you should decide if you value her friendship or if you were only interested in her for sex (ie you were the user not her) and go find someone who will have sex with you or you find interesting enough to value her friendship?

Oh God, not THIS s**t again...

This idea of the "friend zone"... I think it should be called the "ugliness zone." If you make an advance and the girl says "Let's just be friends," it's just a polite way of saying "I find you ugly." It means she's NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU. PERIOD. And while it doesn't happen very often, there ARE friends who become lovers. So the real barrier is the lack of attraction, not the "friendship."

And as for "nice guys finishing last"... it's an inaccurate generalization. Nice guys will finish last with women who don't like nice guys, but that doesn't mean that ALL women don't like nice guys... if none of them did, I wouldn't even be here.

So if you guys really want to get anywhere, you need to stop repeating these stupid cultural cliches and start looking for alternatives. "Think outside the box." (OK, that's cliche as well, but it's one worth emphasizing here.)

Cyberman is using ugly to mean any form of non attraction.

Did I even remotely imply that they didn't have a choice? No. And if you need an example of why the "friend zone" concept is horses**t, ask makuranososhi (another member here.)

It's an important distinction, not just for the ego's of men put in there, but also because women will put good looking men in the friend zone if they aren't sufficiently "alpha".

Still, if I like a girl it means I'd be happy to be friends with her, I may prefer to have a relationship but I want to be with her because I enjoy her company. The only time I feel used is if she says she wants to be friends but makes no emotional connection at all, and only talks to me when she thinks I can be useful.