Anyone else not looking because you are sick of rejection?

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Thats me, I really want someone in my life but I have been rejected pretty much by every women I have ever been interested in. I'll be 41 at the end of the month. been hearing "you are a nice guy but I just want to be friends" and "sorry, not interested, you not my type" lines all my life. If I get rejected one more time it will break me.

So I won't look because I know I'll be dumped on. Anyone else feel like this?

I was that way for three years after the first time I was rejected... but eventually the loneliness won out...

Yeah, I understand. It can really suck the energy out of you. Whatever can be gained from such a relationship seems almost completely negated by the challenges involved with it.

Absolutly. The ones I got rejected by went on to drool and obsess over ladies that wanted nothing to do with them. Which is a little annoying. Others obsessed, then told me no. My advice is, DON'T be friends if the break up hurts! Take alone time. Like anyone needs that feeling to linger or get nurtured?

Last edited by LiendaBalla on 08 Mar 2009, 11:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm not looking because I don't want to get rejected. I'd rather being alone then to have to go through that scene.

*raises hand*

Ah yes. The Talk. Personally, I'd rather have knitting needles driven into my eyes than be told what a great guy I am, but...

So I gave up trying a long time ago. I make friends and don't try to push beyond that. Every once in a while, someone surprises me. It isn't great, but I don't have to sit through another Talk and how they'd rather be gang-raped by a troop of rabid baboons. Ok, ok, they are a lot politer than that. But it sure feels that way sometimes.

Edit: to be clear. I don't blame these women. I am just totally unable to read the cues they take for granted. It sucks, but there it is.

Yes, I don't even bother either. But not just because of rejection... the futility of the whole situation is so incredible, it's funny. I mean, WTF's the point? Even in the highly improbable event that a woman didn't outright reject me, and in the even more unlikely event that we formed a relationship, chances are that she'd eventually get fed up with me and my "quirks" and things would go downhill and there'd be a nasty break-up. And most relationships fail anyway, so I don't see why it should go any better. The idea that there's "someone for everyone" is a bunch of superstitious bullcrap, a fairy tale. Some people have someone, most of us don't. I'm glad that I've been disillusioned.

I haven't gotten rejected that many times, but I can still see where you're coming from.
I agree.

Looking....not much.

Rejection...Yes.

I'm usually pretty good at telling whether I'm going to be rejected or not before I even try anything, so I usually don't waste my time; I'd rather have my pride and save my energy for something that I actually think might work and have substance for the both of us.

Coincidentally, those types of girls (almost all of them) are also the types that I have no interest in either, so it's really a great time saver. I think it's one of the perks of my AS quirks; efficiency with relationships (that and my ability to prematurely repel shallow women). If it would have been a bad or meaningless one, it's pretty much guaranteed that I won't be able to get into it in the first place. The ability for NTs to just arbitrarily establish these kinds of bonds and flounder around for a while before realizing it won't work astounds me sometimes.

In a line, it's not the rejection that's beginning to discourage me from looking, it's simply the 'not finding'.

Shyness and inexperience tend to stop me more than fear of rejection.

ditto.

It's not exactly 'rejection' like someone turning me down for a date. But I have been rather devastated by the behavior of the people that I love, past and present, and that definitely makes me feel like I should just give up. No one is going to treat me in the whole-hearted selfless way that I most desire.

There's a couple dozen people here that would...

right there with you. I'd almost rather be told what a piece of garbage I am than be told im 'a nice guy, can we still be friends?' Yuck.