To those who believe in e-relationships.....

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I noticed that so many of you here believe in the online relationship as if it's a real relationship.

Question to those who believe in such thing: What the first reaction of two e-lovers when they first meet face-to-face? Would they hug each others? Would they kiss each others? Would they quickly get along since day 1 in real life?

If no, then how so? Isn't the online "relationship" supposed to be a real relationship? Shouldn't be like as if 2 lovers met each others after being physically separated by some long journey ? Doesn't that mean that an e-relationship is not true after all?

Last edited by LePetitPrince on 16 Apr 2009, 3:00 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I remember years ago I used to have a "cyber-wife" so to speak, we weren't actually married, but we both decidd to wear rings, so it was a title bourne out of derision of the principle of ring wearing as opposed to a ceremonial joining.

This elationship lasted for a few months until I started getting ill and moved house.

In this case, the e-relationship was based solely on the conditions of how the relationship was affected and aided by the technologyu of communication that we had. I live in Maidstone in Kent, UK and she lived in Reno, Nevada in the US, so with the many hours seaparation between time zones one thing we used to do is constantly have our webcams on and when it was time for one of us to go to sleep, the other would watch the other sleep, and vice versa. Our relationship was based solely around MSN and webcams so we were used to communicating in this way.

Wetalked about meeting up in person, but since she was in her 30s and had 4 children she couldn't feel she could emmigrate so the burden was on my shoulders to emmigrate to her in America. An idea that didn't completely grab me. I suppose it was a very good thing that I didn't emmigrate since at the rate my health was declining and the presence of expensive healthcare, for the condition I had, I probably would have died in a different country.

In the end, combined with the fact that I was beginning to consider a physical relationship with a young lady who lived in my sector of the world, I began to realise that physicl contact and physical nearness is an integral part of ANY relationship. And since I deeply value the comforts of touch, I began to value the near relationship instead of the e-relationship.

I hope this has gone towards answering your question, even if it was mainly a bit of story telling, but maybe hopefully others will read this and influence them to pluck out their views and share them.

While thinking about what I have just typed, I have realised that it is a possibility that some aspies who are aversive to touch may prefer, the e-relationship. Because it has most of what a notrmal relationship has, but successfully negates any possibility of physical contact. That is of course if the e-relationship is for example a trans-atlantic e-relationship (like mine was) where the possibility of meeting in person is small.

This statement is not targetted at anyone, but it is merely a speculative observation. I was merely thinking to myself about the correlation between asperger's and the e-relationship and the reason why the two would go together well.

In retrospect with my own e-relationship at the time, if I had an aversion to touch, then I would have been completely happy with the e-relationship.

Anyway, I hope me speaking about my correlation hasn't offended anyone, and I hope to hear of other's thoughts on this matter.

See i have seen both sides of this sitution.

One of my friends had an online "relationship" you know the kind where they rush home to talk to each other use web cams and microphones etc. She actually had a boyfriend at home. She never told this online romance this because she loved the fact she could be naughty with him while the bf was not around.

Now i told her many times this was wrong but she continued.

And i have also seen the other side of online romances.

My best friend met a man online and they started chatting everyday. They got along so well.

Now she lives with him and they are getting married in 3yrs time.

So i can see how they can and cant work it just depends on how you approach it

Never did understand the concept of having a "true" or commited relationship online.....

Then again, I guess it's easier than to have one in IRL.

When I first met my ex at the airport after 5 months of online dating, we felt instant connections, we ran up to each other and hugged and kissed, commenting on how wonderful it was to be together at last, and hear each other's voices after only hearing them through the crackle and static of microphones and cell phones. It felt right to be together.
Now it's only about 30+ more days until I first meet my current boyfriend face-to-face, and I imagine we'll have the same reaction, assuming we have good chemistry.
Why so concerned with what two consenting adults choose to do in their dating/sex lives? It's fair to critique the methods of dating in society, but I think heteronormative conventional dating has a lot less going for it than online relationships for me, but for someone else, who knows?

I never want to do this. It's too complicated. I remember trying before too (lol) and I fail at it, so it doesn't really matter.

With an e-girlfriend I'd be missing on all the good stuff like chemistry and physical touch. But if an e-gf is all you can find, it's way better than being alone.

An e-relationship has none of the bad things - physical and verbal abuse.

yeah i totally agree witht that you miss things like touch etc but as with my friend there is a chance to meet and get that part of the relationship.

I mean she is getting married now which is amazing and i have never seen her so happy

Well, not physical, but my previous e-boyfriend was very much a verbal abuser. It can still happen in e relationships as any relationship with no foundation of trust. But they do tend to be safer, since it's easier to break off if things do turn sour.
But I must say: I wouldn't trade my boyfriend from Manitoba for any boy I could ever find here in Missoula. He is worth the wait.

awww thats good

This is the perfect way to do things imho:

Meet a guy in real life. Exchange emails. Chat online for a few weeks. Then start going on non-romantic dates. Become friends in real life and get to know each other face-to-face. The sexual attraction will be there even if you don't do anything romantic, even if you two never shake hands. And when you build up the friendship, you then start dating. And your online friendship will be a deeper way you two can connect.

mmmmm i can see sense in that i suppose if you meet outside the net then you already have that connection..

I mean at times i have almost ended up in an online relationship but i need the physical side as well.

I mean sometimes i have met someone online who can be the most romantic person in the world but i kow that because i not met him there is nothing there

90% of communication is non-verbal. so online, you can only know 10% of the person.

Having been in a relationship that was offline, then became long distance, I strongly agree with this. While I'm sure an online thing could lead to a real relationship, if you've never even met, it's not a real relationship, at least not yet.




There's no reason why it couldn't have verbal and emotional abuse. Plus, it also won't have many of the good things - so in that respect it's like being single.

ditto