Nice Guys and Love, what's your take on the issue

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I'm going to interject something into this conversation from a woman's perspective as I am getting to feel most of these comments are from men assuming they know what women are thinking and feeling. Making assumptions and generalizing.

I have a friend who my sister thinks is a total jerk. He is what you guys would call an alpha male.

I remember the first time I met him years ago when we were in our early 20s. We talked a bit, he said I knew my sister. I had no attraction to him.

Over the years he's been my friend who likes the attention, is the life of the party, drinks and makes an ass of himself. Sometimes is rude and opinionated, especially when drinking. And there was this one girl he went out with who he kept putting down in front of us all. Especially if they'd had an argument before meeting up with us. Total jerk.

But over the years we've got to know each other better. We've got alot in common. He's kinda geeky really. And we can talk for hours.

The reason I like him over his best friend who is quiet, has been kind to me on occasion and who I had a crush on for years. Who you'd call a nice guy. Is the nice guy never talks to me. I've never got to know him better in all these year. His face doesn't soften when he sees me. He doesn't make a beeline for me when I walk into the room. If doesn't wrap me up in a big hug when we say goodbye.

Long story short. The jerk shows me that he wants to spend time with me and we enjoy each other's company. When he's not drinking.

I'm not sure I see this going anywhere. I can't take him when he's been drinking. He gets really rude and I just don't drink myself, so don't understand it. I am not going to take it further, but I can't deny I have feelings for him. We just get each other.

I don't want to have feelings for him. I wanted a guy who is buddies with my brother. He's your typical nice guy. Very reliable. Helps anyone out. Never drinks to the point where he becomes obnoxious, but I never felt like he was that into me and there was nothing I could seem to do about it.

Women don't like men because they are jerks, they like guys who show them that they care. They like guys who want to be with them. They don't want to play games trying to work out whether the shy guy across the room will ever open up and talk to them, they want to have a meaningful relationship where they can have an easy two way conversation and feel on the same page emotionally and intellectually.

It can be easier to connect with a guy who actually talks to you and who opens up to you.

It's more complicated than how nice or how jerk like he is. No one is all nice. No one is all jerk. Same with women.

When I had sex for the first time the girl didn't like me or love me she just wanted to take my virginity and boost her own ego. Men do this as well.