I miss a lot of things.
I miss dad, who died last year. He was the best man I ever met. I miss him so damn much. but I have his words to guide me, and he raised me with all his heart and soul, even though I was adopted.
f**k man, I really miss him
I miss my friends who were killed in gangfights, or in iraq.
I miss my Ex, who left me without a clear reason, on the day i was going to tell her I loved her. and proceeded to do dumb things resulting in cutting all ties with me. including friendship. it was neccissary on both ends i think...but good lord do i miss her.
I miss my buddy Lantz back home who teaches me and inspires me all the time.
I miss the warm spot on the couch after talking to my friend for hours.
I miss the one kiss I got from my ex.
I miss the hugs my father gave me
I miss my dojo, which I trained at for 14 years.
I miss my dogs, lego and lucy, and my cat cleo.
I miss all the friends that i drove away because I was too much of a coward to man up before it was too late.
I miss having solid ground
but you know what?
Now I only have room to move forward.
Im always adventuring and tinkering. I can meet new people. Now that Im taking steps to be a man, find what i believe, do what i have convictions in, I can only move forward. Maybe one day I can fix things with my ex, maybe not, maybe Ill meet another brilliant akward woman somewhere in my future.
All of those things I miss. But gave me something to look back on with hope, to guide my future.