I give up

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However, when A ensures B, what is your next step?


M.

I fear you may be over-thinking, as aspies often do.

I think that in the realm of love, it is best to trust one's instincts, or faith, or whatever it is that seems to guide you from deep within.

It takes both trust, luck and commitment to sustain a relationship...

I believe I always have the luck. But due to a lack of trust, my commitment turned into nasty experiences personally...

Just try again, and trust more for the lady you like. It doesn't matter whether we'll fail again. If the time is right, just try again and take all the opportunities around you. Who knows your dream lady is just around you (if she isn't your relative)...

a) If that's the case they can go f@#$ themselves. Women like confident men who do things their own way. If people give you crap about what you like then ram that crap right back down their throats (figuratively speaking).
b) If that's the case dump her like a hot rock. This shifts the balance of power back to you. People can only control you if YOU let them.

The solution lies in getting rid of that damn list and start following ALL of the GOOD advice you have been REPEATEDLY given but have so far REFUSED to LISTEN to. Right now women see you as this uptight, rigid, clingy, needy and unemployed dork who lives with his parents and does nothing but watch cartoons and porn while surfing the internet. Time to get a job, even a crappy one like Walmart, and get out there. Make yourself look presentable as well.

I fear romantic relationships. I'm not sure why, probably because I'm afraid of losing myself. I fear confrontations so much I fear how I would deal with it if I wanted to break things off. Is this what you're dealing with? It took a long time for me to figure out why I was always setting myself up for failure, because a part of me didn't want to succeed. On the other hand, maybe focusing on the relationship problem is a way of avoiding the job hunt problem. Both involve risk and I can totally relate to the fear if that's what you're experiencing. When I graduated from college i realized I had no hard skills and went into a severe depression. You have hard skills. Maybe a career coach would help you rehearse interview skills.

The type of person I look for is the type of person who will go out with the first person who shows them any sort of attention, and all I have to do is be that guy.

And when she meets me, she will be thinking "Finally, attention from the opposite sex!! !"

I feel that is the best I can do.

Incidentally, I haven't watched porn in 5 years.

But a girl like that surely wouldn't be much of a looker, which is one of the requirements as well?

I suppose so.... Your requirements might be too stringent unless you decide to actively look for women to date.

Seriously?

It doesn't matter how confident and positive someone is, if a guy doesn't have the wealth, looks, and car of the "hunks" on shows like Laguna Beach, the Hills, or Jersey Shore, his only hope is some emo girl who is desperate enough to go out with anybody.

There you go again Tim.

Women are not all like that.

I think it's time you start meeting women face to face rather than venting about them. Rejection hurts but happens to a lot of people.

My brother is one good example of a guy without a job who's been able to have many relationships with women and yes he's been through a number of rejections.

I know it's easier said than done and I think most of us aspies are very thin-skinned when it comes to rejection or betrayal. We put too much ideals onto people as well as ourselves because we aren't pursuing them first hand. Most NTs just take action rather than talk about it so much.

To be fair, on the other hand, NT's often take action without thinking a lot, and regret tends to happen a lot... hence the numbers of breakups and, more importantly, divorces, in the modern world, along with the great numbers of unhappy marriages in cultures that do not permit divorce...

I would like to be good enough for an NT, but I am not good enough. I feel that an Aspie is the best I can do.

Oh gawd, don't give up (and I don't feel like reading 8 pages of messages).

An extreme example: Move to Haiti. Move to Africa. You will find a woman to love you simply for a loaf of bread.

If you're not an adonis, attempting to compete in a body building contest to attract women is simply setting yourself for failure and disappointment.

Change the rules of the game, don't compete on the current playing field. Compete where the field is tilted towards your perspective. Hence, in dirty and poor 3rd world countries such as S. America can yield wonders.

Join the military and see how crappy the rest of the world is.

I used to think the same way, but now I think there are probably NT's out there that would be more accepting than your average Aspie. I just wish people didnt believe in the shotgun approach so much...

And part of my thinking was because I remember some people on here, and on other forums, talking about being in relationships with people who were abusive, or disrespectful to them, or where they were just miserable, and refusing to leave--presumably because of fear of being alone.

So I came to the conclusion that people on the spectrum (both male and female) can't stand being alone.