Beautiful to hear (read )
Additional emotion rant:
It turns out I'm much more easily manipulated than I thought, what I thought was truth and honesty, was her telling me "I love you" and 3 hours later telling me I'm annoying, and boring, and repetetive, and egotistical, and wasting her time..
The next day its back to "I love you" so I say calmly "do you realise last night you laughed at me as I was having a breakdown, you realised I was upset, insulted me about 10 times, then hung up"
She actually claims she doesn't even know what she did, which I find absolutely ridiculous, its obvious I've been played as a total fool.
Can't believe what I saw as a secure and growing relationship was actually the means for a narcissist to build me up and smash me down again, feeding off my pain again..
So... new status, single, and not looking for a while, I'm sick of attracting only the kind of women that abuse the s**t out of me simply to see me lose it..
It may sound like I'm prejudice or ignoring the possibility that she's doing it by accident, but to laugh at someone when you know they're in serious pain is disgusting, something is seriously wrong with her.
Turns out I'm very easy to manipulate, if someone says they love me, I find it impossible to believe that could be anything but entirely the truth... It sounds stupid, but this has happened over 10 times, each time I entirely blamed myself for "over-reacting" or "misunderstanding"
Whats to misunderstand about someone that claims they love you, laughs at your pain, then tells you to f**k off when you ask them the question "so what does this actually mean?"
f**k it makes me so angry at myself for being so stupid, for being so naive.
So yeh, what I thought to be a beautiful relationship in the works, was in reality her building up my trust and confidence, and waiting till I showed a weakness, to throw in every insult she could. Unfortunately I shared my weaknesses with her, I shared what hurts me most, thinking EVERY caring human being would therefore respect these things if they say they are in love, but its obvious I just gave her the ammo to aim better.
The moral of the story, be careful of narcissistic pain feeders!
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All hail the new flesh, cause it suits me fine!
Last edited by Scintillate on 26 Oct 2006, 12:26 am, edited 1 time in total.