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emlion
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04 Dec 2010, 9:53 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
What @cmjust0 has discussed in this thread is the process of healing - and it not only involves facing the pain inflicted upon you, but taking responsibility for the pain you've caused (as well as learning new, functional ways to live and relate to people). That's hard work, and it takes time. People say all the time, "Oh, I've changed." Simple way to confirm that: have they taken responsibility for what they've done? Have they made amends to those they've harmed? If those things haven't happened, the "change" is all talk.


I did all that and more when I was in my last relationship, and I still couldn't save it. I put forth as much as I could... I know that I'm not anywhere near perfect, and have to put a greater effort forward to make things work. Why then did it still fail? My ex was acting much in the way of the OP (except there hadnt been any sex involved as of that point, or in any of the relationship), but then after I did what I could to clean up my own act, she still pulled away and the relationship sunk.


I hope I don't go the same way as your ex. But, I am workijng towards fixing things, or attempting to, with the people i've hurt instead of saying 'well it wasn't too bad.' or 'they hurt me too.' - none of those are important, i'm in control of my own actions and have to take responsibility for what i've done, if they don't also accept what they've done to me - that's out of my control, i think. But, I have already fixed one relationship with someone I unintentionally hurt deeply by finally telling them that I know I did wrong, and it wasn't their fault and things of that nature. So, I think that's improvement?



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04 Dec 2010, 2:00 pm

Sallamandrina wrote:
Hope, holy fook that image will haunt me Image (now I have to convince my husband to do that :lmao:)


You can convince your husband to do that, eh? You lucky, lucky girl! :wink:


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HopeGrows
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04 Dec 2010, 2:03 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
What @cmjust0 has discussed in this thread is the process of healing - and it not only involves facing the pain inflicted upon you, but taking responsibility for the pain you've caused (as well as learning new, functional ways to live and relate to people). That's hard work, and it takes time. People say all the time, "Oh, I've changed." Simple way to confirm that: have they taken responsibility for what they've done? Have they made amends to those they've harmed? If those things haven't happened, the "change" is all talk.


I did all that and more when I was in my last relationship, and I still couldn't save it. I put forth as much as I could... I know that I'm not anywhere near perfect, and have to put a greater effort forward to make things work. Why then did it still fail? My ex was acting much in the way of the OP (except there hadnt been any sex involved as of that point, or in any of the relationship), but then after I did what I could to clean up my own act, she still pulled away and the relationship sunk.


@Toad, the simple answer is that it takes two. I know that can be frustrating, but it's not up to one person to make a relationship viable. That is beyond the capabilities of one person. When you have two partners who are equally committed to making the relationship succeed, it will succeed. When you only have one partner who's willing to do the work - that's never going to work. Hopefully you'll meet a nice young lady who's willing to meet you half-way.


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RICKY5
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04 Dec 2010, 3:56 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
What @cmjust0 has discussed in this thread is the process of healing - and it not only involves facing the pain inflicted upon you, but taking responsibility for the pain you've caused (as well as learning new, functional ways to live and relate to people). That's hard work, and it takes time. People say all the time, "Oh, I've changed." Simple way to confirm that: have they taken responsibility for what they've done? Have they made amends to those they've harmed? If those things haven't happened, the "change" is all talk.


I did all that and more when I was in my last relationship, and I still couldn't save it. I put forth as much as I could... I know that I'm not anywhere near perfect, and have to put a greater effort forward to make things work. Why then did it still fail? My ex was acting much in the way of the OP (except there hadnt been any sex involved as of that point, or in any of the relationship), but then after I did what I could to clean up my own act, she still pulled away and the relationship sunk.


Simple. She got bored.



AngelRho
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04 Dec 2010, 5:14 pm

RICKY5 wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
What @cmjust0 has discussed in this thread is the process of healing - and it not only involves facing the pain inflicted upon you, but taking responsibility for the pain you've caused (as well as learning new, functional ways to live and relate to people). That's hard work, and it takes time. People say all the time, "Oh, I've changed." Simple way to confirm that: have they taken responsibility for what they've done? Have they made amends to those they've harmed? If those things haven't happened, the "change" is all talk.


I did all that and more when I was in my last relationship, and I still couldn't save it. I put forth as much as I could... I know that I'm not anywhere near perfect, and have to put a greater effort forward to make things work. Why then did it still fail? My ex was acting much in the way of the OP (except there hadnt been any sex involved as of that point, or in any of the relationship), but then after I did what I could to clean up my own act, she still pulled away and the relationship sunk.


Simple. She got bored.


Been there, done that. My wife knew early on she wouldn't be getting action/adventure/romance with me 24/7. In a lot of ways, our lives are mundane and boring. It's a good thing our relationship is founded on more than that. If she gets bored with you and THAT'S her basis for exiting the relationship, you don't need that.



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05 Dec 2010, 12:43 am

HopeGrows wrote:
Erisad wrote:
emlion wrote:
haha; well i don't like mini things in a guy. :wink:


Well...it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean. Some guys have battleships, others have motorboats. Both are effective with the right captain. :wink:


I think our little @Erisad has a bit of the naughty in her. ;) Keep it up (figuratively and literally).

I agree with you. Considering that 70% of women need more than penetration in order to orgasm, being with a well-endowed guy is really not all its cracked up to be. Too many of them think all they have to do is drop their pants and yell, "Come and get it!" Boo!


I doooooo. Hell, I just got back from a sleepover at his house. I would be there again but I have homework to do. Stupid responsibility mumble grumble.

It's true! Not to mention it would probably hurt more with a bigger one. Trying to keep this family friendly since we're not in the Adult forum. >.<

Sallamandrina - That's what the bf tells me. Not to mention I've done some reading on my own. ^.~



RICKY5
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05 Dec 2010, 2:43 am

Erisad wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
Erisad wrote:
emlion wrote:
haha; well i don't like mini things in a guy. :wink:


Well...it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean. Some guys have battleships, others have motorboats. Both are effective with the right captain. :wink:


I think our little @Erisad has a bit of the naughty in her. ;) Keep it up (figuratively and literally).

I agree with you. Considering that 70% of women need more than penetration in order to orgasm, being with a well-endowed guy is really not all its cracked up to be. Too many of them think all they have to do is drop their pants and yell, "Come and get it!" Boo!


I doooooo. Hell, I just got back from a sleepover at his house. I would be there again but I have homework to do. Stupid responsibility mumble grumble.

It's true! Not to mention it would probably hurt more with a bigger one. Trying to keep this family friendly since we're not in the Adult forum. >.<

Sallamandrina - That's what the bf tells me. Not to mention I've done some reading on my own. ^.~


Erisad,

You are becoming a lusty, randy, ribald, sex fiend...

and for that....

I SALUTE YOU! :D



hale_bopp
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05 Dec 2010, 3:21 am

I don't get what the appeal is with a long penis. Its more about the width.



Mindslave
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05 Dec 2010, 3:58 am

I think the appeal of a long penis is that it looks bigger, makes you say "whoa!" for a sec, and you get to give him a cheap compliment to boost his ego. I don't like having a long penis, because girls always end up focusing on the fact that it's long...and it's an unnecessary distraction. Some are scared of it...which is JUST FREAKING GREAT, since having Asperger's means I scare people enough as it is. Then the question is "Should I continue seeing him? I mean, I can't go though with this if I have to deal with...that"

One of many reasons I'm not too fond of sex. And so I select women accordingly.



nthach
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05 Dec 2010, 4:02 am

I think too much emphasis is place on the size of a penis - but not how it's used. I think Erisad hit the nail on the head, no pun intended.



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05 Dec 2010, 6:01 am

Oh god, the old "Alpha" vs "Beta" argument.

Girls going for "bad boys" instead of "nice guys".

Ok sweetheart. Come around to my place. I will put you down, borrow money from you and smack you around a bit.
I might even "turn you out" and be your pimp.

Will that make you happy?



hale_bopp
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05 Dec 2010, 6:07 am

Wombat wrote:
Oh god, the old "Alpha" vs "Beta" argument.

Girls going for "bad boys" instead of "nice guys".

Ok sweetheart. Come around to my place. I will put you down, borrow money from you and smack you around a bit.
I might even "turn you out" and be your pimp.

Will that make you happy?


Bad taste.



Asp-Z
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05 Dec 2010, 6:14 am

Wombat wrote:
Oh god, the old "Alpha" vs "Beta" argument.

Girls going for "bad boys" instead of "nice guys".

Ok sweetheart. Come around to my place. I will put you down, borrow money from you and smack you around a bit.
I might even "turn you out" and be your pimp.

Will that make you happy?


In another thread, a girl straight out rejected someone because they wanted a "bad boy". She just said that to him. I'd like to see this girl's reaction if you said this to her. You make a very good point.



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05 Dec 2010, 6:29 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Bad taste.


But unfortunately all too often true.

Why is it that when some women find a kind and loving man who will devote his life to her, they kick him in the teeth?
Been there, done that.

In my early 20's my "fiancee" cheated on me and tried to stick me with some other guy's baby while I was saving and planning for our future.

When I found out the truth I split her lip with a right jab and threatened to kill her.

That worked wonders.



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05 Dec 2010, 6:32 am

Wombat wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Bad taste.


But unfortunately all too often true.

Why is it that when some women find a kind and loving man who will devote his life to her, they kick him in the teeth?
Been there, done that.

In my early 20's my "fiancee" cheated on me and tried to stick me with some other guy's baby while I was saving and planning for our future.

When I found out the truth I split her lip with a right jab and threatened to kill her.

That worked wonders.


It might be he case for a lot of people but in this case there is more to it than that. The OP has had an abusive past and I don't think its just down to a "princess liking a rugged bad boy". Its not the case here.

You don't sound very kind and loving to me. Not that thats an excuse for her cheating, nothing is.



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05 Dec 2010, 7:00 am

hale_bopp wrote:
You don't sound very kind and loving to me. Not that thats an excuse for her cheating, nothing is.


Actually I am but I have had some bad experiences.

My first real girlfriend when I was 18 dumped me for a bar fighting unemployed yobbo with an IQ less than room temperature. She was my first sexual partner and I really bonded to her.

I have NEVER dated a girl unless I thought she might be "the one".

I have never told anything but the absolute truth to any girl.

When I had a girlfriend it was open ended as far as I was concerned. In other words I was willing to be loyal to her for six months or sixty years. The relationship only ended if SHE broke it off or cheated on me.