What is "creepy"?

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No doubt, but this part I disagree with:



It matters quite a bit, I think. That doesn't mean there's any easy solution, but this sort of dismissal isn't really fair, I don't think.

I've never personally had this problem that I'm aware of, but then, I never approach or show any signs of interest except as reciprocity. Largely because I don't want to be perceived that way.



It's not necessary to advocate anything different, you don't need to dismiss something and say "it doesn't matter that much" to avoid advocating anything. It's not advocating a solution to recognize a problem. It's not even necessary to weigh one against the other. This exists, and that exists, to the degree or intensity they actually do ... one may be a greater concern but it doesn't mean the other needs to be minimized as a non-concern. If you have a 3 and a 12, the 3 is 3, no matter that the other is 12; it doesn't become a 1. It's still 3.

To the both of you. You really have no shame huh? The same way you both have told others that they dont have to put down an entire gender for X or Y reason Im telling you two that you cant do this either. I bet had i told someone to be warry of all women as theyll just steal your money from your bank account the both of you would have come to whip open a can of hypocrisy. You know that even if you discriminate against all men that wont stop a rapist right? "You cant rape me cause i hate men" isnt going to work. A tazer will, mace will, s**t a lighter with a can a bug spray would work better. And guess what, you only hurt the person trying to hurt you! And by all means dont use common sense! Both of you have simply found a way to sell yourselves an idea to sleep soundly at night. you're both full of s**t, you both know it but refuse to accept it. Attitudes like this are the resaon that women are objectified, because you treat us as if we are buying a damn car. And until the loudmouths (you know who you are) start to accept this NOTHING WILL GET BETTER FOR EITHER GROUP.

Guess what, a rapist isnt going to stop simply because you called them out on it. they arent swiper the fox. Its a f*****g rapist/murderer/etc! A rapist will f*****g attack you wether you treated him well or not. So you have to be extrastupid to geet in the back of a panneled van, which is why i added the common sense bit at the top, but you dont need to diminish an entire gender when the both of you love to argue with people that to the same thing to your gender. You want protection? Get protection, being a paranoid as*hole is just going to eat you up. And it looks like its already eaten a lot.

Also because i know the lot of you LOVE dumbfuck statistics.
http://stfurapeculture.tumblr.com/post/ ... own-as-the
Now stop being delusional about your paranoia based hate

wow, you seriously need to chill out. nobody merits getting sworn at and attacked for having an opinion on the site, and that includes me.

being wary does not equal treating men like rapists. you, yourself, gave advice as to how women should be wary, i.e.:

and then you turn around and call women paranoid as*holes... for being wary.

at no point did i EVER say that all men are rapists or that they should be treated as such. all i said was essentially as you are saying - that women have a right and a responsibility to be careful because they don't know who they should trust. carrying mace effects the same thing - it protects women against any and all attackers, including the ones they don't flag ahead of time. you even pointed out that attractive and normal-looking men can turn out to be attackers.

oh, unless you mean that a woman should only carry mace when she is asked to get into the back of a van by a rapist, and not carry it for protection at all times. but that makes no sense.

somehow, you have turned it into a weird attack.

funny, cause usually my opinions end with being sworn at and attacked. So ill continue then. I guess thats the trouble of hitting two birds with one stone. Because last i checked we were talking about so called protection by treating all men as rapists. Not protection for if that one person (see that, neutral. Ive worded rapist as a neutral because guess what, rapist can also be women) who does actually try to assault you. Nobody else should have to pay for something they havent done.

Theres a big difference between wary and being a paranoid as*hole. That difference is when you start to discriminate seemingly randomly just because they are a guy. My whole point with the normal looking men thing was as edgewaters was saying that the men usually targeted as creeps are done so simply by their looks and not by what they are. Superficiality at its best. The difference between being an as*hole to everyone and having protection is that protection only affects people that deserve it (second time i say this).

I didnt turn it into a weird attack, the three of you did a mighty fine job of making an attack to start with.

The only time I have ever found someone "creepy" is when they start with the objectifcation or dehumanization tactics, about me or women in general, either by saying things that outright that fall into that category or, more usually, by the way they word things, you can tell that it is the underlying assumption behind it.

Unless they do those things, I don't think I could consider someone "creepy".

Last edited by Kjas on 02 Aug 2012, 12:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

no, MXH, we didn't attack anyone. and i have NEVER sworn at you or another member ever. so don't think for a minute that you are doing some kind of fair retribution on me.

at no point did i tell women to start treating all men like rapists, so you are drawing conclusions based on nothing at all. all i said was that some of the serial killers don't look "conventionally attractive" like you were positing. in fact, if they followed your conclusion they'd be assuming that good looking men are rapists, which covers a much broader range than just "creepy" (and in fact, many goodlooking men can come across creepy anyways).

like i said, i replied to three posts in one. You know what parts apply to you. And as im now saying for the third time, creepy is almost exclusively made out to be for people that look like the ones in your post. Its a false image, creepyness has little to do with looks and more with actions. Yet we have people that have that mixed around. By the NT definition of creepy actiond all of us are creeps. But atleast they have an action and not just basing it on how the person looks or his gender

kjas you're on the right track. Creepy is not defined until someone acts on it. Which is what im trying to convey here. Simply treating everyone as creepy is not healthy.

i am pretty sure that i don't look like the men in that picture, yet i am called creepy to my face and have had people avoid me based on that. it's hurtful and it's unfair, but that's life. i behave in a way that gets me labeled like that.

appearance is less of a factor in creepiness than behaviour and environment. for example... in a dark alley, everyone is creepy. in a bar, someone who looks out of place is creepy. on a seedy side street, someone sitting alone in a vehicle is creepy. and on the internet, _i_ am creepy.

you're getting there. As i said those are called creepy by how they act, which as i said is something 99% of people in this site should know is wrong as they have been likely called creepy for not being the same as others. The problem is when creepy doesnt even need to have an action. When labeling someone as a potential bad person can be done with the glance of an eye, when it is done just by how they look, their race, their gender, their orientation, etc. Thats discrimination, not protection

i think edgewaters had a good point - the only way we can change people's reactions is to make life safer for them. until we no longer have people living with fear, we can't expect them to act any differently. sometimes their instincts are right, and sometimes they are wrong, but instinct and is all people have at their disposal for a split-second judgement in which safety can be compromised.

thats not the issue here, the issue is that people are using "instincts" to promote actions which are negative.

what negative actions have been advocated specifically?

Hyper - the place I live in now is offically in the top 5 for most sexual assults / rapes in the world.
Saying it is common here is an understatement. (also not helped by the fact that legally we can't even carry pepper spray)

But some of the things that have been said or suggested in this thread take it way too far. Being aware (not wary or paranoid) of your surroundings and of who is nearby is always a good idea, but I couldn't advocate something tantamount to discrimination, which is what some of the others seem to be leaning towards.

what was advocated that went too far? specifically, i mean.

you didn't answer my question. what are the specific negative actions that have been advocated? i am suspecting that you are reading a subtext that doesn't exist in this thread.