Religion and dating

Post Reply New Topic

Missing the point. A girl may want a guy who claims religious/spiritual belief because it makes her feel somehow secure about the guy and her potential relationship with him.

She's not doing it because she's a snob and wants to weed out atheists for the sake of it.

So if you manage to give her this spiritual security, she won't care if you're an atheist in reality or not.

There's no lie here. Even atheists must believe there's something grand out there (whether they call it god or not).

But



Not me........I'm quite interested in some of the rocks and stars out there, but I don't think there's anything intrinsically grand about it, except in the sense of its large volume. I can find looking at the universe quite awesome, but I don't see it as being awesome in absolute terms. But I know a lot of people (maybe most of them) seem to think that there is something spiritual out there. I don't know what they mean, unless they're just externalising their own private reactions to the universe. I only externalise my reactions if I'm upset or lying.

im very fond of the Dalia Lama, but Ive not heard of Shinzen Young, I shall look him up.

I think it will be very interesting when my children grow up to compare their outlook on life to mine as they have had a predominantly zen buddhist (but still athiest) upbringing. I figure that its got to make them more sorted and better able to deal with problems, as meditation is such a 'cure all' and its such a positive and compassionate world view.

In lebanon, your sect is your clan , a part of your identity. It doesn't matter how much you practice it or how much you personally believe in its teaching.

I'm a Christian and have dated people with different religious beliefs. It never really bothers me. I wasn't always a Christian and I'm not gonna treat people the way that a lot of Christians have treated me in the past. I'm pretty accepting and understanding of differences, and I don't push my religion on others.

No , you didn't mention names.

but you said:



you didn't say that you wouldn't touch some of them with a 10 foot pole because you hate arrogance. So it's normal that we assume that you mean all atheists with no exception.

and this WHOLE atheist superiority might only came from one user, which is lotus, so this WHOLE is a tiny bit exaggerated and it really sounded that it includes all atheists.

Why is it Lotus? I wasn't actually thinking of Lotus, there are a couple of other posts in there I was meaning.

I generally belittle everybody's beliefs, mainly because the vast majority of people believe something very strongly, and then they can't explain why they believe it, and then they get mad at me when I say that until they can explain it to themselves, don't bother explaining it to me. So now, instead of individual people, I just belittle entire belief systems that discourage skepticism, whether it is feminism, environmentalism, or Christianity, or atheism in a lot of cases. There are many many examples, social (troop worship, abortion, illegal immigration), political (communism, capitalism, etc) economic (money, business) and even sports fanatics. I make fun of everything and everyone, because I'm an as*hole...and because I'm a stand up comic.

The way I see it, if someone wants to believe something or do something, then great. Go do that. If a woman wants to have lots of sex, go do it. If a man wants to believe in God, go do that. Many people spend more time complaining about things they "can't" do then actually going out and doing them.

Next time, try to make a less generalized accusation or just name the users.

LOL @ hale_bopp's current avatar.

I always wondered what she looked like...

Bwahaha! I'm so narrow minded I won't even date some Christians.

Seriously though, I think if you care about your faith and want to share that part of your life with them, things would go a lot smoother if you did date someone of the same faith. Just like it is easier to date someone from the same culture or socioeconomic background as yourself. I'm not saying that dating someone from different cultures, ect, is wrong, however, if you are looking at ease, the more you have in common philosophically, the easier a relationship would be.

For me, I'll only date a hardcore Christian. It takes too much emotional work not to. There are so many things that he already wont understand about me, I'm not going to ambush him with one more. I have a hard time expressing myself verbally, the more alike we are in areas that are important to me, the less frustration we will face and the more likely the relationship is to succeed. There are a few other areas that I wont compromise on as well, such as finances and stuff like that. It isn't being bigoted or not giving people a chance. I'll be friend's with anyone. In fact, the person I consider to be my real grandfather (we aren't biologically related) is a strong atheist. But the potential of living with someone and having children together changes things.

Darn, hale, you have really let yourself go.
You should pluck the hairs on your lip. It almost looks like you have a mustache.

That's what you call a hardcore Christian

I'm trying to figure out what you're even responding to in my post. I never said atheists couldn't be deep. I also said it had nothing to do with spirituality. It has everything to do with the practicality of making a relationship work. It works on many levels. If I like to go hiking, I'm not going to get in a relationship with someone who never leaves the house. It's just finding common ground to build a relationship on. Someday I will want to go on a hiking vacation or leave the house to do SOMETHING. If they can't bend on that, what kind of relationship is that? Both people are miserable when they wouldn't need to be. It's the same with religion. Again. If I get into a long term relationship with someone, but he's completely against any children we have going to church with me... that's a problem in the relationship. It has nothing to do with whether my partner is spiritual or not. I don't care. It's all about making the relationship work. Making it free of drama & bickering.

I'm dating someone who is not religious. He doesn't go to church or anything at all. I guess he's Buddhist-curious. He's supportive of me having my own beliefs though. It works.

But.... if you think ALL Christians believe you are going to hell, you are incredibly mistaken. My church believes everyone will be saved. I can name many other popular mainstream churches that don't condemn everyone to hell.

abaisse has articulated an incredible misunderstanding that a lot of non-religious people have and it stems from those loud religious people making declarative statements they shouldn't make about things they have no authority over (ie. another person's salvation). While I understand that someone who doesn't subscribe to an organized religion, such as an atheist, wouldn't have any desire to really research and learn what these different people believe and why; however, declarative statements made about a very vast and diverse group of people that are only based upon a minority percentage of that group aren't very productive for anyone.

I'd bet in Vegas that these whacked out extremist Christian views only get as much validation as they do because of the atheists that assume all Christians must believe these things based on hearing the extremists say it. All the rest of us Christians are shaking our heads and saying, "Please step away from the microphone! No, Pat Robertson, God is not making a blizzard so gay people don't go to gay bars. Please shut up!"

While it is my religion that salvation and good deeds can get you into Heaven and a belief in Jesus as part of the Holy Trinity is vital to that salvation, it's also my belief that Judgment is not my job. Who is to say when God calls his Judgment upon people? Who is to say that death signifies the last chance at redemption? So who am I to say that an atheist would not be welcomed into Heaven? I don't know much about the afterlife beyond the vague concepts written in Scripture. There's no theologian who could have ever said nor will ever say more than pure speculation about it. I have no authority to condemn anyone to hell.

What the Atheist's Dilemma boils down to is whether or not the Atheist can tolerate a partner having a belief is something supernatural and paranormal. If the Atheist is unwilling to educate themselves on the terms of their partner's belief and cannot stomach someone thinking something they don't agree with or understand, obviously that Atheist would be better matched with another Atheist. There are Atheists who do not mind another person having their own mind, and likewise with religious people.