Reasons why you're a bad catch

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LOL.

I like this post, although It's more of a "admit you are at fault and do something to fix it" thread as opposed to blaming other people.

It also depends on the females. Some women don't have as many issues with foul stench and revolting hygene, but I can tell you most do.

Alphas can get away with it with a lot of women too. But for most guys the majority of women are turned off.

Here's another rezone. I'd make a much better wife then a husband

the link you posted was boring.

i will say again that i would never kill an animal in order to eat it, but if the offerings of already slain beasts are on the table, i will partake. why should people who are ignorant of where the meat came from have any more right to eat it than me? (boingoingoingoingoing.....power pack low.)

- I Look nimbish and scared in public (weak), like a good mark. Even if I could be a good protector I'd likely have to actively do so more than another guy would need to, its not so much the literal truth of what I'm feeling or thinking, just that I think my expressive set and body language have a natural bias (for interpretation) in that direction - likely still due for some 'toughening up' lectures from people who don't know the first thing about me or who'd never in their lives be able to guess at most of the things I've accomplished, done, or even survived and overcome.
- Thinning hair, in an creepy/ugly sort of way (its thinning strongly in the back, shredding its way toward the front).
- Too different, most people can't relate to much of what I say or think.
- I can say something that's very much on point in a conversation but, with many types of people, by some act of magic they're utterly puzzled and I have to repeat what I'm saying at least once or twice before it sinks in or before they can draw the connection on why I said it.
- Apparently I speak softly as well, have to repeat myself often, out with a group people can and will often cut me off or talk over me. People at fast food have a penchant for getting my orders wrong even if I enunciate quite well (apparently my body language is telling them I really want something else?)
- Have a low mental energy threshold, become exhausted easily.
- Have a variety of semi-talents but am not truly good at anything (maybe decent amateur at a couple things?), will likely be brick-walled out of having that indefinitely just on neurological /genetic luck.
- Have this inner struggle where I my expectations on myself are sky high and matched achiements almost seem subterranean against them, tend to give myself rather caustic lectures on that quite often.
- Live with my parents: even if I have a good job and I'm helping them out, or that they live 5 minutes from where I work, it still - at 31 - reflects on me as a summation of what hasn't happened in my life that's supposed to have by now. I can make as many excuses on it, no matter how valid they are or how well I get along with them either, I do find it disturbing that I could easily see myself being 'that guy' and being here through my 40's.
- Have a job that isn't working for me, worried about starting another as my track record is that at random with most jobs I'm either there for four or five years, or more, until I move on or - I'm fired within a month, my work history has been 50/50 on that. Being in a position where I literally can't make the metrics, nor can anyone else where I'm at, drains me a fair amount.
- Don't have a garage full of tools.
- Don't have loads of practical handy-man know-how or good home owner's habits like I'm supposed to by my age. Do at least have a .22 semiauto though, that's at least one small part of my man-card back!
- Regardless of knowing that its highly questionable from another persons lens when looking at my maturity, still am wrapped in hobbies and ambitions, by now its a bit of a sickness that I haven't just let it go and given it up for work and TV.
- I still don't know my 'place', ie. on some level I still have the Peter Pan delusion that I am 'somebody' and that what I'm doing or capable of is bigger than it really is.
- Still get that feeling when I'm drifting off to sleep like I'm stewing in fragments of broken dreams, that the dreams that I have held out hope for are in the process of tumbling, and that my life's already pretty much over and that my body will simply be dragging me with it for the next 50 years or so. Half the time it feels like oblivion has already caught up to me in its own ways.


That said, when I hold myself up against a lot of people I know, even other NT's, I'm not doing particularly awful, nor am I egregiously irresponsible, but I think I'm just like a lot of people who've had their expectations overamped or had the bar raised much to high by other people - the fact that its my life, the fact that the outcome still is a direct reflection on the value of who I am, angers me a lot - with myself, even if I am by all accounts doing the best I can with what I have. That and, at least in the way that most of the dating world works, I'm not only coming up short but am even somewhat of a cripple in the areas that matter most (all jokes aside and to add at least one positive - no ED at least!)

Reason number 10: I typically don't give a care, so if I actually made the effort, I might be more successful. The reason I don't care is because of the reasons I listed. I know most of the stuff you listed, and honestly, most of the time I do those things anyway, it's just that I feel like a faker, because as I'm telling her she has pretty eyes, I'm also thinking "Why is this even relevant, besides giving her a compliment so she will like me?" You might analyze that example and make it into "Don't do that!" but most interactions in dating are like that to some extent or another: fake. The bottom line is, I'm far more comfortable around people I've just met than most people are, so naturally I'm not Mr. Popular.

Even so, with bullet point number 1, I tried the mix of "telling her what she wants to hear" with the truth, and guess what happened? She was head over heels in love with me, and that really freaked me out, not just because it was over the Internet. I'm glad for that. At least I can avoid her easier. Bullet point number 3 is a reference to "Always leave her wanting more" Girls love the man of mystery, and if they figure you out slowly, piece by piece, then by the time they know you, they are already in too deep. Whether this is done intentionally or not, the result is the same, and that's what I described with bullet point 1. I decided it would be lot simpler to just say "Here I am, take me or leave me" and it saves a lot of unnecessary BS. As for social norms, I don't BLATANTLY disregard them, I just don't like them. All these rules! I have to be a faker in order to be "socially acceptable" but blatantly thumbing my nose at society is being fake in a different, albeit similar, way. My beef with texting mainly revolves around the fact that so many girls today WON'T talk on the phone. For what it's worth, I don't like phone calls either, but it sure beats texting. Texting is cumbersome, inefficient (isn't communication supposed to be key?) and annoying, not to mention arrogant. "Oh, I'll get back to you when I FEEL like it! Don't tell ME what to do! I'm so wonderful and sexy and great that you are just gonna have to wait!" Even if the other person isn't thinking that, that is the attitude of texting itself. I'm not a big fan of being anti-social.

So it's the whole dating scene and everything that stems from it that I don't like very much, and that's where my lack of enthusiasm comes from. I'm cursed with a functional brain, and I can see the dating scene for what it really is. You may think that to be a tad arrogant, but keep in mind that I'm in my early 20's. I'm too far ahead of my peers. There are plenty of women that are mature for their age, but they typically aren't huge fans of being approached, much like I'm not a big fan of approaching people like a boss. Unfortunately, majority rules. Meeting people in a natural fashion is quickly becoming a thing of the past. I'm frustrated because I know that time is running out. It would be nice to just have lunch with someone and then go home, but most people are too cowardly to do that. Everyone wants to be a rock star, and that means being treated like one as well. I'm not gonna treat someone like a rock star until I've seen them in concert, you know?

Oh, and one more thing. That last part about her friends not liking me and her parents liking me is less about me ":not wanting the daughter around other people" (Hell no! I need my alone time! THAT is a big reason why I'm not much of a dater) and more about not wanting to date a guy your mother would love.

i originally started thinking about your question "Reasons why you're a bad catch" with reference to fish.

if some one could "catch" me, then they would have to "scale" me.

i am not scalable.
no one can climb to the peak where i live. i am ambivalent about that.

I seem to be mad at everyone, I'm not though.

Let's see..

1.) I insist on spending as much time as I possibly can getting better at guitar. Ideally 6 hours a day, minimum.. which is pretty damn hard to pull off with everything else I have going on. Meaning I would constantly be making up excuses as to why I couldn't spend time with you so that I could just sit in my room and practice. (In my defense I am going to be auditioning for a guitar position in a professional death metal band soon) It is my first priority and I am not willing to compromise on this. period.

2.) I am incapable of small talk and have almost no ability - or desire - to maintain a conversation outside of topics most people would consider nerdy.

3.) I have found that I have difficulty displaying emotions or making it clear to my partner how I feel about them which, generally leads to my partners becoming very distraught. I have been working on this...

4.) I have a very hard time making eye contact. Just because I fail to make eye contact doesn't automatically imply that I am lying though I was perpetually being accused of being dishonest by my ex's because of this.

5.) Don't plan on me being intimate or having sexual relations with you for a decent amount of time unless you don't mind me drinking when hanging out with you. I have to know someone very well before I am comfortable doing that sober.

6.) I am very sensitive to touch. When I squirm when you lay your hands on me don't just assume I am tickleish and continue prodding me assuming I enjoy it.. I don't lol. I enjoy being touched by partners but certainly not tickled. Be gentle lol.

7.) I am a very unique individual and the views and standpoints I hold were developed over years of logical thought. Don't expect me to modify the way I am or the way I feel about things to better accommodate yours.

Disclaimer - I am a far more laid back and fun person to spend time with than this list would make you think I would also like to add that I have been working very hard on becoming a better significant other but I am still working out the bumps.

1) Low self esteem which can make me rather insecure and jealous at times.
2) Tendency to analyse everything, and come to the most negative conclusions
3) Tendency to bottle things up and then have major anger attacks
4) Difficulty expressing emotion/affection. It is a battle to get it past the thinking and wondering whether to expess it stage.
5) Need for sameness... I get totally thrown off and panicked and lost if something I have become used to changes, and similarly find it difficult if a person is changeable.
6) Not always good at talking, and tend to leave it to the other person to initiate conversation, unless I have had a drink.
7) I am not a good cook...yet.
I take things very literally, and expect people to say what they mean and mean what they say.

1) low self esteem which makes me negative about myself and worry about doing anything as all I can see is a negative outcome
2) inability to read social cues and peoples emotions/minds
3) very easily stressed out over minor things which has a major impact on 1.

Be more confident in myself and try and get stressed less.

I'm a ornery, bossy, slick tongued, overly smart, shallow, inconsiderate, unmovable, reclusive, demanding jerk.

Which tends to outweigh handsome, loving, caring, well off, interesting individual.

Geeky interests
Spends a lot of money on these interests (collecting DVDs, music, old records, etc)
No relationship history at all
Never had a girlfriend, or been kissed, none of that, and I'm nearly 29
A loner, no real friends
Get depressed a lot
Have low social skills
Can be loyal, clingy, needy
Lonely
Have Aspergers ( a big turn off for women)

Thirty is the new twenty, man.

plump
short
pale
don't shave/wear make-up or jewelry

Low self esteem
Anxiety
Aspergers
Eating disorders/neuroses
Moodiness
Sexual aversion disorder (+ lack primary sexual attraction)
poss. sleep disorder

Extreme leftist, intolerant of all else
Masculine mannerisms and mode of speaking
Indifference to all else outside my (academic) interests
Monologues

No friends or even acquaintances, very awkward/hate being around other people
No job, totally dependent on parents
just starting community college at 23
naivete- lack "street smarts"
much-prefer to stay at home, trips outside are "missions"- school, gym, doctors, shopping, etc.

feminist
vegan
straight-edge

never learned to cook well
house gets quite messy before guilt inspires a light cleaning

determined to have children (will do donor + IUI if not married by a certain time)
expects monogamy; and marriage at some point
lack of extended family

I actually find it awesome you refer to trips outside as missions. But that's just me I guess.