Red Flags on a man

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hyperlexian
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07 Oct 2011, 11:58 am

SadAspy wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

men who care for and support women (and who think highly of women in general) tend to be more successful at dating than men who disrespect and dislike women.

Not really. First of all, many of the men here defending women aren't actually successful with them.

Why do so many bad boys have women hanging off them, while so many nice, polite guys can't get a date? And please give me a response other than "nice guys are just faking it". That's a PROJECTION, and you know it.

i wouldn't say anything about nice guys faking anything, and i would hope that they are authentic in their personality. i am dating a very nice and polite man (from WP in fact), so clearly they can be successful. i think you are projecting your lack of success onto a stereotype that has nothing to do with reality.

many of the men here who defend women ARE successful with women - it's a case by case basis. and their chances increase exponentially if they are pleasant to be around.

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Grisha
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07 Oct 2011, 12:09 pm

SadAspy wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

men who care for and support women (and who think highly of women in general) tend to be more successful at dating than men who disrespect and dislike women.

Yeah, everyone knows you're supposed to hate women because they don't perform to the expectations you are entitled to for being "nice"... :roll:

TheygoMew
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07 Oct 2011, 1:27 pm

Nice does NOT mean you have to be or do the following:

-sulky
-doormat
-passive aggressive
-don't talk back
-don't tell
-put out to everyone
-don't fight back

There has been this annoying skewing of what nice means most likely by sadistic control freaks.

They think nice means victim. :roll:

SadAspy, what you are doing is playing the role of the victim constantly. You most likely should get checked out for a personality disorder because how you type suggests that it's not just depression.

MountZion
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07 Oct 2011, 1:36 pm

emlion wrote:

bad boys are good for a fling/one night stand.
i'm happily staying with my good guy for my long term relationship.
he's so very far removed from your classic 'bad boy'.
not that you'll listen because it doesn't agree with your ridiculous attitude. :roll:

A man has to mix it up sometimes. People's perceptions of guys they think are as*holes/bad boys are so subjective these days I wonder just how skewed the bad boy definition is these days.

Quote:

Nice does NOT mean you have to be or do the following:

-sulky
-doormat
-passive aggressive
-don't talk back
-don't tell
-put out to everyone
-don't fight back

There has been this annoying skewing of what nice means most likely by sadistic control freaks.

They think nice means victim. Rolling Eyes

SadAspy, what you are doing is playing the role of the victim constantly. You most likely should get checked out for a personality disorder because how you type suggests that it's not just depression.

^^^^^
So accurate it's untrue lol

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emlion
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07 Oct 2011, 1:40 pm

MountZion wrote:

emlion wrote:

A man has to mix it up sometimes. People's perceptions of guys they think are as*holes/bad boys are so subjective these days I wonder just how skewed the bad boy definition is these days.

I'd say my definition of 'bad boy' is pretty accurate -
i mean i used to be with guys who were abusive, rude, arrogant etc.
my boyfriend is far from perfect, but he's overall a good, nice guy.
i learned from the mistakes, i think.

spidertea
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07 Oct 2011, 1:49 pm

Let me remind all of you that this thread is just people's opinions on what you think is a red flag on a man and not a place for your sad stories/negativity on men/women as a whole, if you want to do that take it else where otherwise stick to the topic at hand.

MountZion
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07 Oct 2011, 1:58 pm

emlion wrote:

MountZion wrote:

emlion wrote:

A man has to mix it up sometimes. People's perceptions of guys they think are as*holes/bad boys are so subjective these days I wonder just how skewed the bad boy definition is these days.

Yeah

I just think that as a man, you have to be multi-faceted. Cultivate a lot of different dimensions to their character. This will help them in life as well as dating. I wish the "nice" guys who aren't getting anywhere knew this. I'm just glad I have never been a hater

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hale_bopp
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07 Oct 2011, 2:13 pm

I would tend to avoid men who appear like they would lash out if you ever broke it off. Sadly, this is hard to find.. I mean you don't really know?

Aggression is a turn off for me.. whether its from a "nice guy" or a jerk.

dontslowmedown
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07 Oct 2011, 2:20 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

I think actually being agressive is one thing i wouldnt like from anyone, but at the same time i think i'd need someone that was aggressive in their ability to let me know when im annoying them. Well, i shouldn't have to be asking for her opinion, she should be making it known. A total lack of aggression is boring and frustrating.

emlion
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07 Oct 2011, 2:23 pm

dontslowmedown wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

i think you want assertive, not aggressive?

dontslowmedown
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07 Oct 2011, 2:26 pm

emlion wrote:

dontslowmedown wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

i think you want assertive, not aggressive?

aye but how different are the two when it comes down to it? Aggressively assertive

hale_bopp
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07 Oct 2011, 2:31 pm

Well "aggression" to those around him may have some positive factors.. but not people who are aggressive to a potential date.

Example: A guy coming up to me and saying "Women are shallow gold digging b*tches" is similar to a guy who wants to date me coming and punching me in the face.

Apart from the fact one is verbal, the other physical.

PaintingDiva
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07 Oct 2011, 6:01 pm

Interesting thread, to me,

You can avoid all kinds of misery if you observe this one red flag.

I cannot emphasize enough that if you start dating a guy and he starts telling you about all his previous unsuccessful relationship right off the bat, run away and never look back!

The biggest red flag is a man who tells you all about his previous relationships and you have only just met him, and somehow all those previous relationships that went south, it was NEVER his fault, and he is not on speaking terms with any of his ex wives, or if single, girlfriends.

You have just met a man who is emotionally immature, probably doesn't really like women and will treat you badly no matter how charming he first appears.

TeaEarlGreyHot
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07 Oct 2011, 6:41 pm

Fnord wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

Fnord wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

SadAspy wrote:

Grisha wrote:

Ugh - 6 pages and 1,000s of word detailing all the things a guy can do wrong. This is not doing wonders for my confidence...

Yet you still defend women and blame yourself. It's time to see the light.

I don't want to startle you or anything, but men have made lists in this thread too.

All it takes is a lot of patience in the observation of human behavior, and a little Google-Fu to fill in the gaps.

To spot an abuser?

No, to make extensive lists that detail what people do.

... context, dear! Context...

:wink:

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MXH
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07 Oct 2011, 7:04 pm

PaintingDiva wrote:

hmm, interesting. I consider this to be a red flag on a woman as well yet most guys dont count it as one.

spidertea
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08 Oct 2011, 2:48 am

PaintingDiva wrote:

Well it does depend, I would never say stuff about my previous relationships unless they asked about it but my relationships in the past have only lasted 3 - 4 weeks because it was their fault (We were only teenagers so what do you expect? XD) and even two of them went out with me as a joke.

It's not that I don't want to talk to them but they don't want to talk to me so what to do but give them the middle finger XD

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