Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Is not having friends a turn off?

Page 8 of 12 [ 188 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Zinnel
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 405
Location: Missouri, USA

09 Apr 2012, 10:59 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Zinnel wrote:
hahaha, study is 4 years old :lmao:

what?


opps, I hit the submit button to soon...
Quote:
hahaha, study is 4 years old

get it 4

nothing...... oh well
anyway good study, allthough could have the result been alittle skewed due to making people do things they normaly don't do? Kinda like asking a vegan to eat meat and ask them later how did they like it.


_________________
keep an open mind but not so open your brain falls out


ValentineWiggin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 May 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,907
Location: Beneath my cat's paw

09 Apr 2012, 11:04 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
essentially, you haven't given me any reason to believe that people who don't WANT any friends don't NEED any friends, so i feel comfortable in the conclusion that friends are necessary to all people. after all, by default they would have been included in the studies i posted.


And you've done nothing but regurgitate the same fallacious Argument from Ignorance for pages and pages now.


Quote:
Our results suggest that openness to new friendships may have an important influence on the development of friendships in a new social environment. Individuals who were less open to making new friends (measured before they even started their studies) did indeed make fewer friends at university and had new friendships that were of poorer quality than did individuals who were more
open to new friendships. This, in turn, had an impact on how they adjusted to university. This was corroborated by responses that interviewees made in the qualitative interview portion of the study. For example, one respondent talked about how she had “shut myself off from meeting new people” and consequently was very lonely during her first 2 months at university.

Whoa! So people who are uninterested in making friends don't make as many friends?!

We're equivocating here between "openness to new friendships" and "friendship drive". The participant quoted likely has the latter, even though she lacks the former, for instance, hence her loneliness. Being lonely because you don't have friends, if you don't want them, is more than a bit oxymoronic.

"Adjustment to university" is extremely vague- I'd like to see what criteria determined this, specifically. I'd say offhand that colleges seem to be a place where the hypersocial thrive, so the opposite- that they're disadvantageous environments for those who aren't socially-oriented, seems a likely conclusion. So, again, the "ill-effects" of not being sociable are secondary to cultures being set up in a way which presumes you should be.


_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."


hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

09 Apr 2012, 11:05 pm

they didn't make anyone do anything. they just had to report on the various factors. in the discussion at the end of the study the authors spoke of an effective way to help new students socialise as part of another study, but nobody was forced to do it in this study.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


ValentineWiggin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 May 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,907
Location: Beneath my cat's paw

09 Apr 2012, 11:05 pm

Zinnel wrote:
nothing...... oh well
anyway good study, allthough could have the result been alittle skewed due to making people do things they normaly don't do? Kinda like asking a vegan to eat meat and ask them later how did they like it.


Them being vegan isn't relevant. They were included. :wink:


_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."


Zinnel
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 405
Location: Missouri, USA

09 Apr 2012, 11:10 pm

Thats the problem with doing a study on the type of "introverts" ValentineWiggin is talking about.

Your trying to gather data on people who allready have a bias against it. Your trying to see what effect friends have on them and they don't want to make friends.

The only possible sure way would be to measure stresses on the body before and after interaction with the "friend". However even that has flaws do to the fact that the subjects your studying would not have friends in the first place and since we can't force someone to be friends with someone else(usualy) :twisted:
you can't realy study the issue.


_________________
keep an open mind but not so open your brain falls out


Joker
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)

09 Apr 2012, 11:13 pm

It is safe to say that having friends is overrated.



hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

09 Apr 2012, 11:13 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
essentially, you haven't given me any reason to believe that people who don't WANT any friends don't NEED any friends, so i feel comfortable in the conclusion that friends are necessary to all people. after all, by default they would have been included in the studies i posted.


And you've done nothing but regurgitate the same fallacious Argument from Ignorance for pages and pages now.


Quote:
Our results suggest that openness to new friendships may have an important influence on the development of friendships in a new social environment. Individuals who were less open to making new friends (measured before they even started their studies) did indeed make fewer friends at university and had new friendships that were of poorer quality than did individuals who were more
open to new friendships. This, in turn, had an impact on how they adjusted to university. This was corroborated by responses that interviewees made in the qualitative interview portion of the study. For example, one respondent talked about how she had “shut myself off from meeting new people” and consequently was very lonely during her first 2 months at university.

Whoa! So people who are uninterested in making friends don't make as many friends?!

We're equivocating here between "openness to new friendships" and "friendship drive". The participant quoted likely has the latter, even though she lacks the former, for instance, hence her loneliness. Being lonely because you don't have friends, if you don't want them, is more than a bit oxymoronic.

"Adjustment to university" is extremely vague- I'd like to see what criteria determined this, specifically. I'd say offhand that colleges seem to be a place where the hypersocial thrive, so the opposite- that they're disadvantageous environments for those who aren't socially-oriented, seems a likely conclusion. So, again, the "ill-effects" of not being sociable are secondary to cultures being set up in a way which presumes you should be.

many people on WrongPlanet are lonely yet say that they do not want friends. they may think that a relationship will be all they need. so that study fits very well into that, as it is a lack of openness to friendship.

university is a place where many people who don't want friends will attend, and if they are happy without friends then it should not matter if they are surrounded by hyper-social people. in fact the people who suffered most were the ones who did NOT live on campus surrounded by other people so logically they would have escaped a lot of the environment you propose.

we live in a hyper-social society, and university campuses are no different. there is no denying that a lack of openness to friendship had a detrimental effect. you can pick apart what that detrimental effect WAS, but it doesn't escape the fact that there was a detrimental effect.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


Zinnel
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 405
Location: Missouri, USA

09 Apr 2012, 11:14 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
Zinnel wrote:
nothing...... oh well
anyway good study, allthough could have the result been alittle skewed due to making people do things they normaly don't do? Kinda like asking a vegan to eat meat and ask them later how did they like it.


Them being vegan isn't relevant. They were included. :wink:


cheesy.....very cheesy :lol:


_________________
keep an open mind but not so open your brain falls out


hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

09 Apr 2012, 11:15 pm

Zinnel wrote:
Thats the problem with doing a study on the type of "introverts" ValentineWiggin is talking about.

Your trying to gather data on people who allready have a bias against it. Your trying to see what effect friends have on them and they don't want to make friends.

The only possible sure way would be to measure stresses on the body before and after interaction with the "friend". However even that has flaws do to the fact that the subjects your studying would not have friends in the first place and since we can't force someone to be friends with someone else(usualy) :twisted:
you can't realy study the issue.

they separated out the people who don't want friends, and they found that those people suffered in some way from lacking friends. they should have been happy about it, but it adversely affected their university experience.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,021
Location: Houston, Texas

09 Apr 2012, 11:15 pm

Zinnel wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
Zinnel wrote:
nothing...... oh well
anyway good study, allthough could have the result been alittle skewed due to making people do things they normaly don't do? Kinda like asking a vegan to eat meat and ask them later how did they like it.


Them being vegan isn't relevant. They were included. :wink:


cheesy.....very cheesy :lol:


Never say "cheesy" to a vegan...


_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!

Now proficient in ChatGPT!


ValentineWiggin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 May 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,907
Location: Beneath my cat's paw

09 Apr 2012, 11:19 pm

Quote:
they separated out the people who weren't open to making friends, and they found that those people suffered in some way from lacking friends. they should have been happy about it, but it adversely affected their university experience.


Fixed.

They never separated out the people who didn't want friends, merely those who closed themselves off to the opportunity.
That's the variable we were discussing.

Moreover, the "adverse affects" weren't ever illustrated as being resultant of a lack of friends directly, as opposed to living in an environment where one is expected to have friends, and made to feel like a weirdo if this isn't the case.


_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."


Zinnel
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 405
Location: Missouri, USA

09 Apr 2012, 11:20 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
Zinnel wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
Zinnel wrote:
nothing...... oh well
anyway good study, allthough could have the result been alittle skewed due to making people do things they normaly don't do? Kinda like asking a vegan to eat meat and ask them later how did they like it.


Them being vegan isn't relevant. They were included. :wink:


cheesy.....very cheesy :lol:


Never say "cheesy" to a vegan...

......................Cheesy Bacon 8)


_________________
keep an open mind but not so open your brain falls out


hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

09 Apr 2012, 11:21 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
Quote:
they separated out the people who weren't open to making friends, and they found that those people suffered in some way from lacking friends. they should have been happy about it, but it adversely affected their university experience.


Fixed.

They never separated out the people who didn't want friends, merely those who closed themselves off to the opportunity.
That's the variable we were discussing.

Moreover, the "adverse affects" weren't ever illustrated as being resultant of a lack of friends directly, as opposed to living in an environment where one is expected to have friends, and made to feel like a weirdo if this isn't the case.

if a person wanted friends, they would not close themselves off from it.

they didn't mention anyone being made to feel like a weirdo for not having friends.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


ValentineWiggin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 May 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,907
Location: Beneath my cat's paw

09 Apr 2012, 11:24 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
Quote:
they separated out the people who weren't open to making friends, and they found that those people suffered in some way from lacking friends. they should have been happy about it, but it adversely affected their university experience.


Fixed.

They never separated out the people who didn't want friends, merely those who closed themselves off to the opportunity.
That's the variable we were discussing.

Moreover, the "adverse affects" weren't ever illustrated as being resultant of a lack of friends directly, as opposed to living in an environment where one is expected to have friends, and made to feel like a weirdo if this isn't the case.

if a person wanted friends, they would not close themselves off from it.

The girl quoted in the study seemed to want friends- she was lonely without them, in any case, and the researchers imply her expression to them was one of lamentability about the whole affair.
hyperlexian wrote:
they didn't mention anyone being made to feel like a weirdo for not having friends.

Case closed.


_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."


ValentineWiggin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 May 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,907
Location: Beneath my cat's paw

09 Apr 2012, 11:25 pm

What was the overall point, again? About why having *no* friends (I would think "not having friends", the thread topic, would mean zero)
is a turn-off?


_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."


hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

09 Apr 2012, 11:26 pm

a person can become lonely after they choose not to have friends. emotions are not static.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105