Appearance and Fashion Tips for Asperger's Men

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Big_cheese
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18 Aug 2012, 6:41 pm

RICKY5 wrote:
Big_cheese wrote:
Shau wrote:
Big_cheese wrote:
I honestly honestly see straight through clothes. You could be wearing whatever the crap you wear and standing next to someone in a bag, i would notice the difference but i just wouldn't.

Aye, people do jump on threads like this, but is it to agree with them or rip them to shreds?


Unfortunately, lots of NTs put a crapton of importance on things such as what brand of clothes you wear, and these funny "first impressions". Learning how to get good at both will make life in an NT-dominated world easier for you.



Aye, but f**k it right?


What does saying "f**k it" to doing what is necessary to improve your lot in life accomplish?


And what's my lot? Overlooked by idiots? Wow, im gutted.



machf
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18 Aug 2012, 9:06 pm

mv wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
i mistook the "before" picture for an "after" picture. that's a business casual outfit and it looks fine to me.


Me too. :lol:


Me, three! I thought, "Awwww, adorable!"

That's the way I like to dress... and I wouldn't change to the 'after' for any reason, I don't like it at all.



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18 Aug 2012, 10:36 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
Hyperlexian, don't try to deny that people are driven by visual presentation when it comes to first impressions. Even on this forum where so many people claim to be deep, threads that are based on appearance or body language, they receive a good number of responses so it goes to show that people are visual and do judge by first impressions to form their initial attraction.

well, of course they are. but not everyone wants to make the same impression. you may find that certain sorts of women like the way you dress, and other women don't like it. we like different things. it is generally good for people to be relatively clean and to wear clothing that fits them in the way that works for them, but any specific clothing advice beyond that is highly individual, situational, and socio-cultural.


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hyperlexian
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18 Aug 2012, 10:42 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
Not exactly because at the end of the day, the attention and amount of dates I get from women is higher since I have made a concious effort to change my appearance, style and outlook.

it's true that you've had a lot of women fall for you, so it works for you in the initial stages. but GreenShadow has had a long-term relationship (which you haven't experienced yet) while dressing more casually. so the clothing may work for gaining something short-term, but perhaps what works best for LTRs is being one's self instead of putting on clothing that goes far outside of one's own comfort zone.


If you let your clothes define you and push you out of your comfort zone, you are clearly taking fashion too far, fashion is something seen as a status indicator by many people, I have even noticed that salesmen can even get different responses depending on how shiny their shoes are.

What about men on the spectrum who aren't good at maintaining a relationship? Why is a long term relationship seen as more successful as something short term? If you are able to get something with short term, it is better than long term if long term isn't what you really want.

different strokes for different folks. that member didn't want to take your clothing advice because it would involve becoming a fundamentally inauthentic person. for you, that clothing is authentic and reflects your inner self. for him, it does not.

and he was proud to have a long-term relationship, so he was not interested in advice from someone whose clothing hasn't accomplished that same type of relationship. he has different ideals and goals, and his approach was successful for him. different clothing may work for different aims. your approach to clothing is untested from your own personal experience in terms of going long-term, so that isn't helpful to that member.

nothing wrong with different approaches to clothing. a man who is seeking one-night stands may use a third (as yet undiscussed) approach to move towards his own goals. i've heard furry hats are out of style now.


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Shau
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19 Aug 2012, 6:02 am

monkeykoder wrote:
I've never met a distinguished scientist that willingly dressed like that Big Bang Theory is pretty spot on in the clothing department for scientists same holds for most of the high intellectual crowd.


I think you're misunderstanding something. The guys from Big Bang Theory are dressed in pretty nice clothes for the most part. I'm not stating that scientists go around wearing suits. But, the more sociable ones will generally be wearing presentable clothing. And, if your experience is otherwise....I'll chalk it up to cultural differences between Oceania and wherever you're from.

Of course, there's plenty of oddballs in the world of intellectuals, I'm speaking on average here.

Big_cheese wrote:
And what's my lot? Overlooked by idiots? Wow, im gutted.


This is extremely naive, friend. You'll be deluding yourself if you think those things don't have a major impact on most NTs period. Be they stupid, smart, or anything in between, appearance and first impressions are major parts of NT thought processes, and believing it idiotic or "beneath you" will never change that.



Big_cheese
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19 Aug 2012, 6:49 am

Shau wrote:
Big_cheese wrote:
And what's my lot? Overlooked by idiots? Wow, im gutted.


This is extremely naive, friend. You'll be deluding yourself if you think those things don't have a major impact on most NTs period. Be they stupid, smart, or anything in between, appearance and first impressions are major parts of NT thought processes, and believing it idiotic or "beneath you" will never change that.


But given that i have the attitude that i do, why would you even bother trying to reason with me? I don't dress like an idiot but that doesn't mean im walking around in rags, what are you imagining here? It's true, i don't care about first impressions made by clothing, but then i do find that i've managed to twist my aspie negatives into positives in life, combined with naturally being one of those people that people in charge notice for being one of those types of people that stands out for the quality of my work, just why would i care?

Naive though? Pff, naive lol. I'm about as un-naive as it gets... There are words you could level at me but that isn't one of them.. I can talk to literally any nt and i can talk at their level, ive spent my entire life around the most un aspie appreciating crowds you can get. I can talk to any girl, i can talk to any guy, no matter what their social status. At school i was the type that was part of no crowds but i knew almost everyone worth knowing. I knew the cool kids, i knew the criminal kids, i knew the geeks.... I took what i wanted from each crowd and was part of none of them. I'd talk to literally anyone...

That said, i still don't care about first impressions and i don't care about the kind of people that would look down on me for not wearing the right clothes and obviously not giving a f**k, and believe me, im just as forthright in real life and i would give them both barrels. Do you think that it bothers me that a pretty but dim girl just overlooked me because of my clothes? Why would i care? They don't have anything i want, they pretend like theres some game where clothes matter and im not as good as them because i don't wear the right clothes, JUST IM NOT PLAYING and i make it clear with my utter lack of interest in them. Confidence is always the best clothing you can have....

I never wanted to change them with my attitude, it's never been about that, it's a genuine and real realisation that the world of clothing and first impressions just isn't the real world. It's not, it's make believe, my attitude to someone that believes that shows them how clearly wrong they are.

I'm sorry, i just don't swallow BS easy and i don't suffer idiots either. If first impressions do make an impact on my life i consider it a shield that weeds out the people worth knowing.

Ah, i dont want to post this now, i sound like a right git.... I'm actually really nice and easy going, just i tell it like it is and i get away with it. It doesn't worry me anything that i dont notice clothes, as i said before, they're for keeping you warm only and if you believe otherwise i don't care.



Shau
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19 Aug 2012, 7:37 am

Big_cheese wrote:
But given that i have the attitude that i do, why would you even bother trying to reason with me? I don't dress like an idiot but that doesn't mean im walking around in rags, what are you imagining here?


I didn't make any assumptions about your clothes, truth be told.

Quote:
It's true, i don't care about first impressions made by clothing, but then i do find that i've managed to twist my aspie negatives into positives in life, combined with naturally being one of those people that people in charge notice for being one of those types of people that stands out for the quality of my work, just why would i care?


Clothes have pretty minimal impacts on me as well. I think it's ret*d how much emphasis so many people put on clothes. Yet, the fact remains that dressing in nice clothes, be it whatever style you prefer, tends to have a positive impact on other people. Oh well!

Quote:
Naive though? Pff, naive lol. I'm about as un-naive as it gets...There are words you could level at me but that isn't one of them.. I can talk to literally any nt and i can talk at their level, ive spent my entire life around the most un aspie appreciating crowds you can get. I can talk to any girl, i can talk to any guy, no matter what their social status. At school i was the type that was part of no crowds but i knew almost everyone worth knowing. I knew the cool kids, i knew the criminal kids, i knew the geeks.... I took what i wanted from each crowd and was part of none of them. I'd talk to literally anyone...


You've been officially upgraded from "naive" to "stubborn"!

Quote:
That said, i still don't care about first impressions and i don't care about the kind of people that would look down on me for not wearing the right clothes and obviously not giving a f**k, and believe me, im just as forthright in real life and i would give them both barrels.


You're talking about putting a red light on a lot, if not the majority, of the population of the planet, including ever-so-many of the most successful ones, and for a very impractical reason.

Quote:
Do you think that it bothers me that a pretty but dim girl just overlooked me because of my clothes? Why would i care? They don't have anything i want, they pretend like theres some game where clothes matter and im not as good as them because i don't wear the right clothes, JUST IM NOT PLAYING and i make it clear with my utter lack of interest in them. Confidence is always the best clothing you can have....


If that pretty girl was also an employer, head editor of a major book publishing company, spokesperson for some big organization, etc....probably. At least, I would be. It seems pretty stupid to let an opportunity pass you by just because you don't like it when people judge you for your clothes.

Quote:
I never wanted to change them with my attitude, it's never been about that, it's a genuine and real realisation that the world of clothing and first impressions just isn't the real world. It's not, it's make believe, my attitude to someone that believes that shows them how clearly wrong they are.


Plz give me directions to whatever world you live in, mate! I want out of this one!

Quote:
I'm sorry, i just don't swallow BS easy and i don't suffer idiots either. If first impressions do make an impact on my life i consider it a shield that weeds out the people worth knowing.


Would you hold true to this principle, even if you knew it was going to cost you an extremely lucrative job or some other kind of opportunity?

Quote:
Ah, i dont want to post this now, i sound like a right git.... I'm actually really nice and easy going, just i tell it like it is and i get away with it. It doesn't worry me anything that i dont notice clothes, as i said before, they're for keeping you warm only and if you believe otherwise i don't care.


As I've said before, I honestly couldn't care either, the only reason I care about clothes is for pragmatic and/or aesthetic reasons. It's not like I'm on their side or anything.



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20 Aug 2012, 10:36 am

Wolfheart wrote:
Shau wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
If you tried to dress like that in London and go into certain shops, you would be turned away by security or not allowed to enter.


That's London dude. You could go anywhere in Australia or New Zealand dressed like that.


Australia isn't exactly London, New York, Paris or Milan. Let's face it, they aren't exactly leading authorities on fashion.

sweetleaf wrote:
Also isn't dressing the way you suggest conforming to a specific standard? Besides the only time I really see people dressed like that is if I go to downtown around the corporate buildings or if I'm in a wealthy sort of area.......it would be rather out of place where I live if a guy was walking around in a suit and tie.


Not really, to be honest, there are plenty of people that wear suits in London and around this area but as the previous poster stated, you can express originality by wearing a suit but you still aren't being defined by a label. You can wear a maroon suit but you won't fall under any certain definition or label. You are creating a divide by creating a sub genre, if you listened to metal and didn't create a sub genre or fashion out of it, people would be more about the music than the image.


Well trust me Lakewood, Colorado where I live and London, England are very, very different places especially if people commonly wear suits there. Also I personally would not wear a suit I suppose I'd wear one before I wear a dress though since I don't like girly things. I prefer clothes I am comfortable in and that I like the look of not uncomfortable clothes that would be totally out of place in most situations I find myself in.

Also its the metal bands that created the style.......and of course metalheads who are into such music more or less developed into a subculture and there are certain styles associated with that sub-culture. Also sometimes metalheads like to meet other metalheads so dressing like a metalhead makes that easier to be recognized as such or to recognize someone else as one.That said its not like I always have a metal band shirt and my patch vest on sometimes I wear shirts of non metal bands or sometimes I wear shirts having nothing to do with any music. I mean my basic style is pants or cut off shorts and a shirt and it works just fine for me.


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20 Aug 2012, 10:41 am

Wolfheart wrote:
GreenShadow wrote:
Anything wrong in not following the fads?


You won't get a girlfriend with that type of attitude.

That is your personal preference, this is to state a universal standard of fashion but it also depends on culture. You can still take some of these tips and apply them towards a poorer background such as looking presentable, going to the gym or finding a style that makes you more universally attractive.

This isn't about conformity or non conformity, it is about using fashion to show that you are confident and increasing your chances with women.

Body language is something that is visually learned, not through theory or audio so my point still stands that you can use demonstrations of body language to imitate it.


So wait a minute....the only way for a guy to get a girlfriend is to follow fads? Damn I guess us females are pretty shallow if we can only possibly be interested in males who follow current fads. I mean what makes you think all females care about fashion and all that crap? I guess if one wants a shallow most likely bitchy girlfriend an attitude of 'why follow fads?' might make it more difficult. But if one wants a girlfriend with a less shallow way of thinking then that attitude would be beneficial.

Oh and I also have a question though why should someone want to be universally attractive? especially if they feel like more of an outsider.....for instance I prefer clothes that attract people I want to associate with and deter people I would prefer not to. So what benefit would there be to looking universally attractive exactly?


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